Aliens Used Our Bog Roll

Posted by Ben @ February 27th, 2012 6:15 pm. Filed under: I'm Keeping The Whole Class Back,I'm serious!,Just Crazy Enough To Work,Maybe... but not for THAT reason,Only joking!,The Great Taste of Charleston Chew — Tags: , , ,

This petition is somewhat unique as it was set up by… actually, no, I’ll tell you about that after you’ve read it.

by steven mulheron
Responsible department: Ministry of Defence

We petition the Government to set up a Public Enquiry for the enquiry into the UFO phenomena and any possible extraterrestrial involvement. All relevant documentary, physical, and eye witness evidence, held by, or known to the government, should be disclosed and made available to the public enquiry.
Any private entity or foreign government involvement, in the above subject known by HM government should be made available for scrutiny and possible disclosure to the public.

Right. You’ve read that, right? On the surface I actually think it sounds like a fairly reasonable if slightly silly request, worded intelligently by someone who, we can presume, was probably kicked in the head by a horse just hard enough to give him the urge to write this petition but not hard enough to damage his grasp of the English language.

Which is a bit suspicious when you stop to think about it, because the people who actually think it’s worth mashing their requests into the keyboard for the Prime Minister to summarily ignore usually aren’t the sort of people who are capable of stringing together a sentence in a meaningful manner. Over the last few years Andrew and I have seen people fail spectacularly to construct their asinine requests coherently.

Were we wrong? Are the British public actually very, very intelligent? Is this a grand conspiracy to keep people like Steven Mulheron out of the public view and instead elevate dullards and nincompoops to the public eye?

Well, no. As it turns out this is all part of a marketing campaign by EA Games to promote BioWare’s new video game, Mass Effect 3 – a marketing campaign designed to get people talking about, I don’t know, aliens or some shit. My rather cynical urge not to pay them any bloody notice is tempered somewhat by the knowledge that this blog is currently read by, at most, four people, so we’re not doing EA or BioWare any favours by talking about it. Or ARE WE…? (No.)

Nothing affirms my lack of faith in humanity quite like the efforts of marketing people.

Comments (8)