Posted by Andrew @ April 10th, 2010 11:32 pm. Filed under: Batshit Mental Rants,Gibberish,Rejected Petitions,Stand Back! I'm Going To Try SCIENCE!,Thank You For Coming -- It's Been Very Useful — Tags: john jenkins —
I’d like to welcome a new member into our Top Ten Petitioners: John Jenkins. We’ve featured him before, demanding quantum metric currency and… well, it’s hard to say as his grasp on the English language is akin to that of a large metal claw on a stuffed bear. I suspect his grip on reality is little better but as I say, it’s difficult to be sure with him. But it turns out that, like Keith Jones, he’s a serial petitioner (although a far less prolific one than Jones) and not one of his petitions makes the slightest shred of sense as far as I can see. He’s had a few accepted onto the site, but the most popular has all of five signatures. Here’s a selection that jumped out at me. I think they illustrate a man’s decent into madness:
Moving income support to fortnightly is like anyone to choose to pay their direct debits a further month in arrears to allow them to pocket the difference. It is not fair to put the bill on those who were not even in the bankers’ casinos to subsidise the cost of recession. Few on IS even put someone else’s money into accommodation to distort the housing market. It is always better to smooth flows of funds. In this we move to abolish bank holidays and weekends for 24x7x365.25 computer uptime to the 9th 9. A regressive move to fortnightly benefit payments is potentially another 10p tax issue?
“I think benefits should be paid a week in arrears, for this list of quite ridiculous reasons.”
“Well, I’ll be honest with you, there’s no logical reason to do s–”
“Also we should abolish bank holidays and weekends.”
“Right. Right. Okay. Right. That’s… that’s actually pretty stupid, isn’t it? And it doesn’t have anything to do with your initial request.”
“We can leave the computers switched on all the time!”
“…I’m… I’m sure we can. Er. Could… could you leave now? Please? You’re unsettling the more nervous Ministers.”
Posted by Andrew @ April 25th, 2009 8:15 pm. Filed under: Genius!,Only joking!,Rejected Petitions,Stand Back! I'm Going To Try SCIENCE!,We Petition The PM To Climb This Wall Of Text — Tags: john jenkins, Mark Russell, Simon Jenkins —
Dear Prime Minister,
We the undersigned request that the late Jade Goody be made Patron of England and for her to be associated with St. Georges day on April 23rd (or whatever day it falls on in any particular year.
Jade Goody was quintessentially English and raised public awareness of cancer. Please let the British public pay respect to both her and St George’s day by making her the Patron of England!
There is no part of this that makes any sense at all. The only way I’ve found of making it seem sensible is to compare it to this one:
Money mediates trading of goods and services over time.
Trade pausing there for power of imperialist imperative currency is dubious and is against general public influence to decide.That currency fundamentally disenfranchises people against holding those whose actions impinging on conciseness to transparent account.
Say that in that paradigm good-faith trading is for goods not power. Let the seller beware to sell guns.
A new currency paradigm is required to account for ideas to take reality with individuals having competence to that fundamental economic power. Any qualifications need be based on knowledge drawn into pragmatic truth based predicate calculus rather than the access to force to destroy.
This may be called a metric currency based on two of the fundamentals of physics: time and energy. While there is quantum uncertainty between these primitives they may be macroscopically perceived. Thus mediate those formal ideas finding structure in space-time and momentum.
Such may be seen as a possible reference currency. Ignorance of benefit of ideas over force is a public nuisance, a common law crime.
The wonderful thing about the metric system is how much it simplifies everything.
In order to discourage young people from taking up smoking due to peer pressure, all smoking materials (which have to be purchased over the counter) should be renamed. People would be embarrassed to ask for 20 "I look a Twat" or 25 grams of "limp penis" and a packet of "no mates" papers.