I’m A Little Bit Tired

Posted by Ben @ April 3rd, 2009 6:51 pm. Filed under: Anything I Want Should Be Free,spelin an grammer — Tags:

by sarah jane

We are a nation of agressive, abusive and violent teenagers, i propose that the government should put funding into boot camps like they have in America to help families with troubled teens. This system seems to work very well, and as i am a member of a family with a violent teen i think alot of parents would like these camps introduced. There is just no help or support for parents of teenagers who are just out of control and we need some help!

Didn’t ITV already do this?

by victoria birkett

when my loved one went to falklands for 6 months he was allowed a half hour phone card a week to contact home . I also could phone him and a great cost . if we help the heros the most help would be contact from home. when these heros go away for months at a time leave children and familys behind they need as much contact from home as possible not all familys can affored to call them .

The URL on this one is brilliant. Also: I live and work in the US, so I think my Mum should be able to call me for free. It stands to reason, doesn’t it? I mean, thanks to me living in the US people can now enjoy watching some of their favourite Disney television shows in high-definition. Surely my family and I deserve some kind of thanks from the Government for this.

by Billy Gould of London taxi drivers

In order to rank up or tout for work as a taxi driver you need to have a green badge which means you need to have passed “the knowledge”

In central London more and more bars and clubs have ranks of private hire cars outside

this petition is to ensure that all people who have been out and spent years learning the trade aren’t ripped off by minicab driver with satnavs

The Knowledge is, I think, a rather impressive mental thing. However we live in the 21st century and, frankly, you should just ruddy well get used to it.

Oh look, another petition from Anita Clark:

by anita clark

I would like you all to sign this petition to keep evil sex offenders behind bars for there full sentance without the ability to do half there time.

Your one-woman campaign against child abuse would be taken much more seriously if you learnt how to spell, you mad cow.

by Martin Crompton

This would boost voter turnout dramatically at the General Election as the populace would be more eager than ever to express its true appreciation of all the PM has done for the UK.

Surely this is the family’s decision? What if they want a private funeral? They have that right, you inconsiderate wankstain.

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Strike A Light

Posted by Ben @ April 3rd, 2009 6:39 pm. Filed under: Gibberish,I Want To Watch Sports For Free,Sorry, What Was I Talking About?,What's a Local Council?,spelin an grammer — Tags:

by Alex Warren of Student

The windswept concrete streets of Leeds need trees planting not only to reduce the wind patterns in the areas, but also to break up the concrete fabric of the streetscape.

Planting just a handful of seeds would, in a few years, really improve the quality of Leeds’ streets, and be a green blessing to the younger generations of the city.

Speak to your council, you dunder-headed ninny.

by Guido Cavaciuti

Ticket prices for football matches have now risen to the extent that many average football fans have been priced out. To now deny these fans the opportunity to watch their national team play is unbelievable. Putting the national game on channels such as setanta, where an expensive suscription is needed further pushes football into the realm of those with sufficient funds. But this goes beyond the realm of simply money. Football and sport has been a great part of British culture and patriotism for generations and denying the vast majority of the British public the opportunity to watch the national game in simply immoral.

Immoral, you say? Well fuck me. Who knew watching a bunch of grown men paid to shepherd a bit of leather into an outdoor cupboard* was so ruddy important?

(* I’ve very blatantly stolen this rather accurate description of football from the brilliant comedian Bill Bailey. This is because it’s late and I’m too tired to come up with my own jokes. Rather similar to Guido here, who was clearly too fucking lazy to search for one of the thousands of identical petitions asking for Exactly The Same Fucking Thing.)

by anita

Please sign this petition to keep familys being dragged through the courts to give sex offenders access to there children

I love this petition so much.

by Ian Baldwin

Tumble Dryers use 30 times the amount of energy per hour than a 100 watt incandescent light bulb. Tumble dryers should be banned for people who have gardens to dry their washing to show that this government is not just picking on people who like a certain kind of light.

I’ll be honest here, I really can’t see any connection between any of the things Ian is saying here. Possibly he really likes lightbulbs? Maybe he has a collection he likes to leave switched on during the day.

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