The windswept concrete streets of Leeds need trees planting not only to reduce the wind patterns in the areas, but also to break up the concrete fabric of the streetscape.
Planting just a handful of seeds would, in a few years, really improve the quality of Leeds’ streets, and be a green blessing to the younger generations of the city.
Speak to your council, you dunder-headed ninny.
Ticket prices for football matches have now risen to the extent that many average football fans have been priced out. To now deny these fans the opportunity to watch their national team play is unbelievable. Putting the national game on channels such as setanta, where an expensive suscription is needed further pushes football into the realm of those with sufficient funds. But this goes beyond the realm of simply money. Football and sport has been a great part of British culture and patriotism for generations and denying the vast majority of the British public the opportunity to watch the national game in simply immoral.
Immoral, you say? Well fuck me. Who knew watching a bunch of grown men paid to shepherd a bit of leather into an outdoor cupboard* was so ruddy important?
(* I’ve very blatantly stolen this rather accurate description of football from the brilliant comedian Bill Bailey. This is because it’s late and I’m too tired to come up with my own jokes. Rather similar to Guido here, who was clearly too fucking lazy to search for one of the thousands of identical petitions asking for Exactly The Same Fucking Thing.)
Please sign this petition to keep familys being dragged through the courts to give sex offenders access to there children
I love this petition so much.
Tumble Dryers use 30 times the amount of energy per hour than a 100 watt incandescent light bulb. Tumble dryers should be banned for people who have gardens to dry their washing to show that this government is not just picking on people who like a certain kind of light.
I’ll be honest here, I really can’t see any connection between any of the things Ian is saying here. Possibly he really likes lightbulbs? Maybe he has a collection he likes to leave switched on during the day.
Posted by Ben @ March 23rd, 2009 4:50 pm. Filed under: Presumably The Prime Minister Is Not Too Busy,There's Already A Solution But Don't Let That Stop You From Bothering The PM,What's a Local Council?,Young, Dumb, And Online —
Leicester is a good city, but it’s always lacking that “thing” that people know it for. The nearest snowdome is still atleast a minimum of an hours drive away to tamworth! The costs alone of that even if you can’t drive is ridiculous via train! We need something more local that would generate more interest in the sport for the people of leicester! So please, build us a snow dome in Leicester so that the pointless travelling can stop, so that leicester finally has that “thing” to be recognised for and so that more young people can get learning snow sports rather than messing around on the streets of leicester!
I don’t really think that’s up to him, is it?
As the Prime Minister has himself reportedly recently discovered when President Obama gave him some DVDs, because of the region encoding it is not possible to play lawfully-acquired DVDs from one region on a lawfully-acquired player in another.
The government should pressurise the companies concerned to remove this restriction and adopt, if necessary, appropriate anti-piracy measures.
Or you could invest £50 in a nice multi-region DVD player.
Posted by Ben @ March 11th, 2009 7:49 pm. Filed under: Presumably The Prime Minister Is Not Too Busy,Unintentional Irony,We Don't Take Kindly To Your Type Rahnd These Pahts,What's a Local Council?,Xenophobia —
We want all plans to be scrapped for the proposed plans to build 800 + homes in Copcut Lane, Droitwich,Wr9 7JB
Have you tried laying down in front of the bulldozer? Or, and this may be a tad more effective, have you tried contacting your local council?
British Summer Time ends approximately 8 weeks before the shortest day, however it restarts again 14 weeks after the shortest day meaning that we have to endure 6 more weeks of evening darkness than is necessary. There is no reason for this disparity. There is enough daylight for children to go to school in the morning by mid February.
Read the signatures. Priceless.
The Armed Forces are ordered to duties oversea’s, protestors should not be allowed to disrupt parades and similar events. If people wish to protest then they should do so in places such as outside Parliment, MOD Main Building and other Government buildings.
Glod bless freedom of speech (which, incidentally, is what our soldiers are allegedly fighting for).
We believe that instead of automatically paying an individual based on their circumstances in return for nothing. People should be paid benefits for carrying out jobs given to them by the government, like a wage. A role should, and can be found for almost any circumstance and thus it is unnecessary to just let people make excuses to be lazy.
This would benefit the country as a whole, as jobs can be created that improve communities and teach people which will improve their chances of finding work in the future.
Suggested jobs for this new benefit regime: “Lightbulb changer,” “Ladder holder,” and “Office Chair Height and Back Support Adjuster”.
Please visit The Border Agency website & look at the statistics for immigrants & asylum seekers who enter the UK each year. They are taking British jobs & British homes. In turn they are taking our land as we need to build new homes to accommodate. Some are even taking our tax payers money in benefits whilst British citizens are struggling! Let’s say no!
I’d rather say “no!” to xenophobic, racist arseholes.
Post Office Limited is threatening to close our village Post Office which will close our one and only village shop. They are to replace it with a mobile service (5 hours per week). Current provision is over 35 hours & the impact on our local economy.
I was unaware that the Prime Minister ran the Post Office.
Posted by Ben @ March 2nd, 2009 9:24 pm. Filed under: Duplicate Petitions,I Petition The Government To Your Name Here,Really Epic Duplicate Petitions,spelin an grammer,What A Load Of Bankers,What's a Local Council?,Won't Somebody Please Think Of The Children?,Young, Dumb, And Online — Tags: Dee Murrell —
We’ve been a bit quiet the last few days. It’s partially because I’ve been busy plugging the first Jump Leads book, currently available to buy from Amazon worldwide. No idea what Andrew’s up to, though. He’s probably grinding some teeth (not his) into a fine powder and then testing them on… oh, I don’t know, Hobos or something.
Anyway, let’s get on with whatever it is this blog’s supposed to do. Don’t we post funny pictures of cats with captions or something?
Inroduce a five per cent (5%) pay cut on the 500,000 plus members of the Home Civil Service. Thereby setting an example to the rest of the country. This small cut would save the taxpayers a minimum of £500,000,000.00 pounds a year.
I’m not entirely sure why Mike is making this request, but the second signature on this one is fantastic.
Instead of all the parties wasting precious time and energy on scoring political points against each other – why not set up a coalition government (or at least all work together) so that all the best expertise can pull together; beat this recession and get the country back on its feet and help the people! Arguing between parties does not solve the problem – whereas all working together just might!
Great idea, but you’re petitioning the wrong country’s government, I think.
Oh look, Dee Murrell is back.
The preventable deaths of Baby P & all like him are a clear indictment of Britain’s failure to protect vulnerable children & too frequent over-lenient sentences for child abuse & related deaths convey that as a nation we tolerate such abuse & murder.
Effective measures need to be adopted to recognise & tackle child abuse at its earliest stages. Lord Laming’s recommendations excluded how Social Workers could better perform their jobs on the front line when visiting children at risk, where improvements & clear nationwide guidelines are urgently needed!
The ongoing abuse of a child culminating in their death is far worse than outright murder. So all child abuse related deaths should carry a discretionary life sentence & all participants are equally responsible regardless of who did the abuse & who allowed the abuse to go on unchallenged.
As a nation we wish to say that we will no longer tolerate these heinous crimes against our youngest & most vulnerable.
*Abuse includes neglect
Thanks for the footnote there, Dee. Really helpful. Also, haven’t you petitioned for this about seventy times already?
If banks are contractually obliged to pay exorbitant bonuses with money given to them by the taxpayers, then the Government should claim it back through the tax system, because, as everyone knows, bankers do not deserve to receive any money for their greed and incompetence.
Janet Holbrook there, reminding us that all bankers everywhere are evil – always have been and always will be.
I feel it is moraly wrong that vat is put onto common pain relief tablets, cold relief medicines, childrens pain relief, ie:Calpol. These medicines are readily available and give great relief to many people with everyday pains such as toothache, migraine, period pain, infants teething pain, keeping temperature down. Often after a visit to the doctor he may subscribe anti biotics but also suggest pain relief medicine that people have to buy. Also, vat is on ordinary everyday toothpaste, keeping clean teeth is important for good health, (can cause more serious problems within the body). Also vat on sanitary towels is not right, these things are not luxury goods but essentials. Transfer the vat to real luxury goods such as alcohol
Am I responsible for this petition? Indeed, when Marco van Beek suggested removing VAT from safety equipment I took it further using his own logic to include hygene products. Now it seems Janice has taken that to heart. Right then, let’s go ahead and try to stretch this out to its logical conclusion.
Aaaaand now the Government is broke. Nicely done, Marco and Janice!
Please encourage the powers that be to provide an Ice Rink for the people of Exeter – our museum is closed and there is not much for us kids to do! from Mark – aged 14
I am shocked, SHOCKED that there is a child in this day and age who is disappointed in the closure of a museum. Also, shouldn’t you be asking your Local Council, Mark?
CREATE A NEW ENGLISH COIN TO HONOUR ST GEORGE
And another one to honour Doctor Who, who has bravely saved our great nation from Daleks, Cybermen, Yeti, Gelth, the Wire, Autons, and many other beasties.
It’s a well known phrase among bikers… “Bikers Make Safer Drivers”. We would like to see the DVLA require all learner drivers to first pass the theory and road tests on a motorcycle or moped under 125cc. The theory test could be combined to cover both bike and car licenses, saving time and money, but the learner should be required to pass the bike/moped road test before being allowed in a car.
We believe that this approach would increase the threat and speed awareness of new drivers, and should have a tangible impact on the associated accident and fatality rates. We also think that it might help car drivers more aware of motorcyclists, a more practical solution than running television or radio advertising.
Mr Prime Minister, please do not back away from making the roads safer, even at political cost, it’s not worth people’s lives! This does not have to cost the government much time or money at all, it just needs political will. There will always be detractors, especially those who are scared of motorcycles. Let’s not let fear stand in the way of saving lives!
It’s a well-known phrase among bikers because bikers are bikers. They bike regularly, which is what helps them develop a better sense of road awareness. Requiring someone to learn how to ride a bike, and then force them to ride that bike well on one occasion only, isn’t going to instantly make every new driver in the UK safer by default. That’s just bollocks.
News reports indicate that a number of the former Woolworth Stores have no commercial purchasers.
The Government should arrange the purchase of those premises and provide them at low rents to community organisations such as Credit Unions, Housing Associations, and third sector businesses
On principle, this doesn’t sound like an awful idea. The problem is that you’re asking the Government to buy a bunch of empty stores and rent them out at a time when the Government can’t really afford to be buying a bunch of empty stores no one has so far had an interest in. There’s too much risk involved – if no one’s buying them, very few organisations will be interested in renting them. What’s more, isn’t this really something that local councils should be doing?
As women, we are all punished by having periods… why the hell should we have to spend £3-£4 a time to buy a supply of pads or tampons?? Men dont have this problem… therefore save themselves loads of money!
i feel we should get these prosducts free. we cant choose whether to have a period or not… why should we be charged!!
Yeah!! We men don’t have to buy sanitary pads or tampons at all! We save loads of money, which we can put towards the cost of condoms!! Also, why is Emma Wade double-punctuating her sentences??
To make it unlawful for any website, or other area of the internet to contain any offensive matter or subject, or to contain any pornographic material, or promoting or describing methods of, acts of suicide, internet bullying, or methods of humiliaion, or containing foul language, or any matter considered offensive by any individual, or content considered to be libelous.
I find this petition offensive. Let’s shut down the ePetitions website and ban .k.Johns from the web forever!
In order to curb prisoner numbers send all criminals who have committed minor crimes to the British Forces. This will offer criminals a chance to repay the nation, offer criminals new skills and discipline and most of all increase numbers for the British Forces.
I’ve seen at least one petition like this before. It’s a silly idea. Stop it.
Mal Jones and Sue Wray have just pulled off the Petitions Site equivalent of turning up to the same social event wearing identical dresses.
These are much loved and supported facilities used by young and old alike and they play a vital role in the community. Everyday the pools are full of people of all shapes and sizes keeping themselves fit and active. The staff are fantastic and there is always a friendly atmosphere whether it’s yoga, bowls or kids playing football. These centres are in areas which desperately need such facilities- isn’t it the council’s job to provide them?
We wholeheartedly oppose Wirral Council’s proposal to close Guinea Gap Baths, thereby removing a vital leisure centre from a community that desperately needs it. This is a section of the Wirral that has large numbers of underprivileged families, many of whom do not have the resources to travel long distances to enjoy their leisure pursuits. The closure of this facility will also end the long history of Wallasey Swimming Club, which has encouraged thousands of children to swim, both for fun and competitively. These children have nowhere else to go if the closure is allowed to take place.
Two points I wish I make, here.
Posted by Ben @ December 15th, 2008 12:31 pm. Filed under: Duplicate Petitions,Everyone Stop What You're Doing Because You're Mildly Inconveniencing Me,I Am A Brain!,spelin an grammer,Thinking Things Through Is Just Not British,This Is What We're Outraged At This Week,What's a Local Council?,Young, Dumb, And Online —
The single, solitary signature sums up this petition rather nicely.
It seems grossly unfair for working people to be penalised by; having to take time off work or have to pass keys over to others to have work done on their property. Even worse when you don’t know anybody in your area you can trust.
This would create jobs for people in need and be good public relations for councils.
And, of course, you’ll complain when your Council Tax goes up to pay for this extravagance.
I am appalled at seeing many young riders wearing totally inappropriate, cheap equipment, the main reason for this, the high cost of good kit.
Using decent kit will decrease injuries and save a great deal of money and services, by reducing the need for extended medical care and emergency services.
My own son now rides, and we made good kit a condition of helping him buy the bike. The kit, which is of the minimum standard we would allow, cost £606. Without VAT it would have cost under £500.
The kit you can now buy reduces a life-threatening accident into much more minor accident. My own son recently slid off on a bend covered in wet leaves. From over 40mph he slid down the road and bounced off a curb, injuries: a scratch on his knee and some bruises and soreness. In jeans, trainers and a fashion jacket it would have been a much different story..!
It would be too much to ask that kit was subsidised (my true preference), but classifying it as Safety Equipment, and removing VAT would be a big help.
Please Mr Brown, do something to save this country’s finest resource… our people!
So, your son quite happily hops onto what is generally considered to be a more dangerous method of transportation, and you think the Government should subsidize the cost of his safety equipment? Why don’t you ask Gordon Brown to buy your Absailing gear while you’re at it?
The Jane Hodge RESPITE Hotel is the only center for disabled people of all ages i went down there with my partner who has MS she i 42 years old she is too young to go in to a nursing home as she is quite active and there is pleanty of things for the guests to do they have various activities for them ie swimming computers the staff are all friendly and careing so please HELP
Y’know, I see petitions like this and I begin to wonder if people actually know what local councils are for.
The introduction of ID cards will not prevent terrorism or crime. Instead, this totalitarian act will not only further eradicate our civil liberties but bankrupt the country as well. The government simply cannot afford this scheme in the present climate, Over £5 billion and rising to churn out this white elephant. Jacqui Smith stated on the 7th November this year that she thinks the people ‘can’t wait for ID cards’! Who is she speaking to?
Please sign this petition, to keep the pressure on the government to drop this scheme for good.
If people spent just two minutes looking for a preexisting petition that matched their aims, we wouldn’t have half a dozen petitions all asking for the same thing. Like this one.
I believe the current guidelines for sentencing child abusers is GROSSLY UNJUST for young vulnerable victims. I believe the minimum sentence for physically abusing a child should be set at a MINIMUM of 15 years as opposed to the current 5-9 years custodial sentence (with a maximum of 10 years) for serious cruelty or long term neglect that is currently in place.
The public’s response to the “Baby P” case would be comical if it weren’t tragic. The papers report what is admittedly a very sad case, only they do it in such a way as to make the public think that this tragedy is, in fact, their tragedy. So the public put on their “Let’s All Overreact To Things” hats and decide that this young child they’ve never actually met before was a soldier, a little angel, and so on and so on, and accordingly amend their view of how the criminal type in question – in this case, Child Abusers – should be punished. People who have never given a crap about anything before, with the exception of how much a packet of cigarettes costs, suddenly feel they are informed enough to decide how the law should work. And, of course, they decide that it’s just this particular type of criminal and not, say, rapists. Or murderers.
I think that the Baby P petitions – rejected or otherwise – probably merit their own post eventually. Maybe after Christmas, eh? If you’re all good little boys and girls.
Posted by Ben @ November 6th, 2008 1:10 pm. Filed under: A Rose By Any Other Name Would Be Less Funny,I Am A Brain!,I AM TALKING!,Not Government Business,spelin an grammer,Unworkable Ideas,What's a Local Council?,Why Should I Have To Go To Work? — Tags: natasha, Sarah Armstrong (Or: How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love The Knife) —
It’s been an interesting and quiet couple of weeks for one quite perplexing reason – the RSS feed we usually pull these petitions from has decided… well, not to follow the petitions anymore. Interesting. Still, there’s more than one way to skin a gift horse in the mouth before it’s hatched.
Derby City Hospital is going to be the Main Super Hospital, IN 6 Months time, as the D.R.I. is scaling down. People close to City Hospital,have to take 2 bus rides or Taxi`s which is expensive and time consuming. We the Undersigned. request Direct Bus to run along Derby Ring Road from Alvaston, calling at Allenton along Osmaston Park Road calling at Cavendish on route to City Hospital. This would make patients, visitors and staff from these areas able to take a Direct Transport Route. Saving time and Money and Carbon Footprint.
I’m not saying this isn’t a good idea. I am suggesting that there are perhaps other people you might want to get in touch with to suggest this to. Really, asking the Prime Minister to sort out a bus route? You may as well add this to your list of Things I Want For Christmas in your annual letter to Santa Claus.
Make British Day a bank holiday to celebrate British-ness. The only way to bring people together is by having such a day. The 4th July makes all Americans join as one, let us do the same. We should be proud of our heritage and anyone else who joins us here should be proud too. Just one day a year where we wave the flag with pride. We love Britain!
I’ll let you write your own joke. Bonus: Petition signed by someone naming themselves “As long as those ashamed of this country can have a bank holiday also” – priceless.
In England, we are fed up with the knife crime, MAKE IT 21 TO BUY A KNIFE!
Everyone knows that the lorry situation on the motorway has got out of hand many people have sadly died from their trips onto the motorway and others escaped death but are severly injured from their terrible experiences on these motorway lanes. These situations have to stop and now, how many more deaths do we have to witness before anything is done about this !!!!!I should have died at 19 yers of age but was one of the lucky ones !!!!Noone should have to indure what many have indured at the hands of these killing machines!!!!
One lane for lorries only, that they can’t leave. So… how do they get off the motorway, then?
Natasha clearly has a vendetta against lorry drivers…
I am sick to death with these lorry drivers especially those who are from Euroupe who have never driven in England before and used to driving on the other side of the road then end up killing or nearly killing people such as myself I was very lucky indeed and should have died under the circumstances. I feel that introdcing this law will help towards the safety of our roads and do not understand why it is that members of the EU can drive over here without retaking their driving test whereas those from South America for example and other countries cannot there should be a general rule !!!
…and a wafer-thin grasp of the English language.
As no one seems to be able to stop underage children from drinking the sale of beer and cheap sparkling wine etc in glass bottles should be banned as they seem to enjoys smashing them all around parks and public areas making it dangerous for children and animals
Oooh, so close.