Posted by Ben @ August 24th, 2010 7:19 pm. Filed under: Are You Kidding? We Can't Afford That!,Please State The Nature of the Medical Emergency,These Kids Today With Their Modern Haircuts And Hippetty-Hop Music,What A Dick — Tags: elliott —
Sometimes, people hate. Sometimes, people hate other people. And sometimes, people hate other people they’ve never met on rather nebulous ground for reasons that, in the grand scheme of things, don’t actually make any bloody sense.
Let’s look at such a person:
Isn’t it about time that those among us who wish to perpetuate the species, pay for their upkeep.In a modern society it is unthinkable that those tax payers who do not have children, (for whatever reason), should be asked to pay towards their maintenance.
If you can’t afford to support them – don’t have them!
One would not ask a neighbour to help pay towards ones mortgage or the car service, or even towards maintenance of ones wife – so why their children?
The idea of paying people to replicate is outdated – unless of course the government are anticipating another world war.
Why the contribution is important
The amount of tax payers money expended children, whether as benefit or free milk etc should be shouldered by those who want them.
If you’re poor and you can’t afford kids, don’t have them! And if you can’t afford birth control, simply stop giving in to that primal, carnal instinct! Those urges, those deep urges, the temptation of the flesh, the curve of the breast, soft skin of the inner thigh… Mmmm. No. Stop it. Great, now I have twins.
Posted by Ben @ August 12th, 2010 4:44 pm. Filed under: Are You Kidding? We Can't Afford That!,Everyone Stop What You're Doing Because You're Mildly Inconveniencing Me,I AM TALKING!,Please State The Nature of the Medical Emergency,These Kids Today With Their Modern Haircuts And Hippetty-Hop Music,Unreasonable Demands,What A Dick — Tags: corsalover2 —
STATUTORY MATERNITY PAY is now payable for longer than the period of pregnancy. Although employers are entitled to recover SMP, they still have the burden of paying it each week or month and then recovering it later.Eventually it is the taxpayer who is funding this ridiculous benefit. We managed with shorted periods of SMP for many years and in the light of the present economic situation, the duration this benefit should be restored to pre-1997 levels – i.e. 18 weeks.
STAUTORY PATERNITY PAY should be abolished. Employees receive 5.6 weeks paid holiday already and it does not seem unreasonable to suggest that they take 2 weeks of their holiday when their child is born. At present, the taxpayer funds £250 for a fortnight’s extra leave.
HOLIDAY PAY ENTITLEMENT should not accrue during periods of Stautory Maternity Pay. At present, a woman drawing 12 months of SMP is also racking up 5.6 weeks-worth of Holiday Entitlement which is payable by and not recoverable by the employer.
Or, “Women having babies get paid too much, and men shouldn’t get paid just because their women have babies.” Wow, corsalover. You’s a dick.
Posted by Ben @ July 15th, 2010 9:55 pm. Filed under: I Am A Brain!,I'm Keeping The Whole Class Back,It's Just A Little Request...,Thank You For Coming -- It's Been Very Useful,These Kids Today With Their Modern Haircuts And Hippetty-Hop Music,spelin an grammer —
Are Lollipop people really needed?How the idea could be implemented
Plenty of Zebra crossings and Traffic Lights for Children to Cross at.
Jonestly, if an 8 year-old schoolboy hasn’t figured out how to cross the road by now he deserves to be hit by a car.
Posted by Andrew @ February 23rd, 2010 1:24 pm. Filed under: Technology. Tamed.,These Kids Today With Their Modern Haircuts And Hippetty-Hop Music,You Know - We Haven't Banned Anything Lately. — Tags: james morrison —
by james morrisoni think the sites might be a good way of contracting friends but their influence is taking over young people and can influence what they do in everyday life.
This is true: I was invited to a party on Facebook and I went to it.
It was good, but I suppose I got lucky. It could have been a rape-trap. I don’t know why I took the risk. It was probably all that grooming they did, spending ages being actual friends with me in real life. I’m such a fool!
Posted by Ben @ February 4th, 2010 8:37 pm. Filed under: I'm serious!,Oh Yeah? Let's See You Write A Better Petition!,These Kids Today With Their Modern Haircuts And Hippetty-Hop Music,Young, Dumb, And Online — Tags: Master Connor Betts, Tobias Holbrook —
Tobias Holbrook would like to talk to you logically for a moment.
by Tobias HolbrookCurrently, the voting age is not set on a rational basis. It is set at 18, despite a lack of evidence that 18 is a logical age to set it at. I propose to lower the voting age at a local level as a pilot, to see what effect allowing people as young as 12 to vote and stand for election would have. The results from this can then be used to determine a logical voting age for national elections.
Yes! This is clearly the logical choice! Let’s see what 12year-olds, who have little or no understanding of how the world works, have to say! Or better yet let’s see what the 12 year-olds’ parents have to say as they’ll be the ones telling their kids what to vote for!
But young Master Betts (I shit you not) has another suggestion:
by Master Connor BettsI am writing this petition for my Citizenship GSCE Coursework. The more signatures, the better. I know there are alot of people who share the same views as I do. In my opinion, If sixteen year olds are allowed to risk their lives for their country, Then why can’t they be given the ability to vote for who they are fighting for? If they can devote their lives to another person (Marriage) and sign a marriage certificate, Then why can’t they sign a less important and more simple document being the ballot paper?
This does present us with a conundrum. Tobias wants to knock the age all the way down to 12. There’s a gap here of four years. What shall we do?
Fortunately, Tobias is willing to compromise:
by Tobias HolbrookOne of the issues our democracy is facing is the voting age. There are many arguments both for and against lowering the voting age, but they tend to miss an obvious compromise – a tiered system, where town parish council elections would have an age limit of 12, district council elections and age limit of 14, county council elections an age limit of 16, and a national age limit of 18.
The advantages would be numerous. It would give people a chance to become more involved in the political process as they grow older, while also serving to gather useful information that would inform further debates on the voting age.
We hope the government considers this idea carefully.
Yes! Such a brilliant idea! And this despite a lack of evidence to support that 12, 14 and 16 are the logical voting ages for these regions.
Posted by Ben @ January 29th, 2010 10:35 pm. Filed under: Duplicate Petitions,Hang on -- This Should've Been Rejected,The ePetition Team is a Confederacy of Dunces,These Kids Today With Their Modern Haircuts And Hippetty-Hop Music — Tags: Mrs Emma Casey —
The ePetition team show us their glowing incompetence by once again allowing a duplicate petition to slip through their hands.
by Mrs Emma CaseyI ask if possible that new laws make it so that parents are solely responsible and accountable for their child’s actions; I ask to bring about proper parental responsibilities. Where parents would be prosecuted along side there child if their child broke the law. Mother/Fathers have a “duty of care” to raise their children with morals, ethics and a decent ethos instilled in them, if they fail there parental responsibilities then the parents’, should be equally responsible for what their child has done or does. This is what our society is lacking.
Not only is this a patently ridiculous petition (“solely responsible”? What, so the kid gets away with it while their parents serve time?), but we had more or less this very idea suggested not three days ago. And it’s popped up several times over the last year, too. One has to wonder whether the ePetition Team are taking their admittedly rather pointless job seriously. I mean, you’ve gott have pride in your job, even if your job does entail thumbing through the public’s batshit insane ramblings on a daily basis and making the least-worst ones signable by other batshit insane people.
Posted by Ben @ January 19th, 2010 11:51 pm. Filed under: Exclamation marks!!!!,These Kids Today With Their Modern Haircuts And Hippetty-Hop Music,What A Dick,spelin an grammer — Tags: kaye patel —
by kaye patelThe government gives people who do not earn enough tax credits, housing benefits, working tax credits and etc. They get free education anyway. So why do people who work hard to get a high income have to pay extra money for their child’s education so these people can get into private practically free!!!
Yeah! Fuck the underprivileged, am I right guys?
Posted by Ben @ January 18th, 2010 11:49 pm. Filed under: Clearly You've Thought This Through,Thank You For Coming -- It's Been Very Useful,These Kids Today With Their Modern Haircuts And Hippetty-Hop Music,Unreasonable Demands,Unworkable Ideas,You and What Army? — Tags: Mik Boon —
by Mik BoonWe need national service in this country but cant send unwilling youths to war. I believe a force of trained and disciplined rescue and relief workers could be used to help in natural disasters both home and abroad. These people would be trained in a military style except for the weapons training. Instead being used as a force for good without taking the military away from its primary duties. In conjunction with the military the personnel and equipment would be available at a moments notice to be deployed where needed. These conscripts will develop a sense of discipline and worth sadly lacking in todays society, and also develop citizenship skills and skills for life and work in general. There would also be no youth unemployment and youth crime would also fall. Training could be done by ex service personnel and run along the lines of previous generations national service.
If we can’t send unwilling people to kill other people, what on Glod’s green earth makes you think we can send unwilling people to help other people?
Posted by Ben @ January 12th, 2010 7:39 am. Filed under: ...Or Else!,Clearly You've Thought This Through,I'm Keeping The Whole Class Back,These Kids Today With Their Modern Haircuts And Hippetty-Hop Music,This Is The Worst Kind Of Discrimination! The Kind Against Me!,This Is What We're Outraged At This Week,spelin an grammer — Tags: Councillor Richard Dodd, Malcolm Saggers, miss kelly johnson, Mr Michael Roots, William Carver —
Blimey, it’s cold! How cold is it? It’s so cold my family has been gathering around the freezer for warmth? Ba-dum-bum! I got a million of ‘em! Y’know what else I’ve got a million of? Petitions relating to the cold weather in some capacity. Won’t you read them with me? Because I’ll be damned if I’m going to read them on my own!
by Mr Michael RootsWe, the undersigned, wish the Government to implement as policy for teachers to report to their nearest school when the weather is snowy if they are unable to reach their usual place of work. Thus enabling more schools to remain open and consequently having less detrimental effect on the education of children by having fewer school closures
Ever stop to think that maybe the reason the schools are closed is not because the teachers can’t get to work, but because it’d be unsafe for the pupils to venture out into the weather to get there? No? Thought not.
by miss kelly johnsona lot of people are being penolised this winter for coming under weather stations that have not had a trigger of cold weather when in fact people that live miles away and come under it have seen temperatures fall below freezing surely this needs to be looked after or even give us all another one off payment like last jan to ensure we can put our heating on its not just elderley that suffer in winter it is sick and young children too and they dont recieve any extra winter fuel payments
And what exactly constitutes as “actual city temperatures”? Because I don’t think “my Nan’s thermometer says it’s below freezing” really counts.
by Malcolm SaggersDue to the lack of salt stocks in most areas central government seems to feel that they should now dictate who gets further stocks and has asked local councils to start rationing to maintain their stocks, do you think it right that central government should be telling local councils how to deal with icy roads/pavements in their local area? Surely central governments job is to ensure all local councils have what they need to deal with the current conditions without jumping in to ration salt stocks to areas who are obviously in need of essential gritting materials and equipment. Rationing does not solve the problems most councils are experiencing but could make it worse.
It sounds like you’re instead in favour of the Government keeping the supplies, and then when the cold weather snaps into place they simply transport the salt stocks to… uh… oh, I’ve spotted a potential hole in your plan.
by William CarverBritain is seizing up with the cold and many pavements and roads are iced up. We cannot expect local authorities to clear all this for us especially when grit is short. On the continent of Europe citizens clear pavements and roads of snow outside their houses and this makes walking and driving safer. It also prevents snow and ice build-up. We need reminding of this responsibility by government so we can get the country moving again and make it safer for pedestrians and road users.
“Hi, British public! It’s me! Gordon! I’ve got an idea for you all – why don’t you stand out in the middle of the road shoveling snow? Yes, I said the middle of the road. No, I don’t see any… oh, right. Yeah. Spotted it now. Thanks.”
by Councillor Richard DoddIn view of the recent adverse weather affecting the whole of the United Kingdom, permanent 4 wheel drive vehicles, such as Land Rovers, have proved invaluable to the community, in getting the elderly to hospital, taking rubbish collections to local refuse sites, rescuing ambulances on emergency calls and other motorists who have become stranded. It seems very unfair that these vehicles pay the highest in road fund licence when they are used to such a beneficial effect for the whole country. They have saved lives. In view of this, rather than being penalised, the owners of these vehicles should be rewarded for keeping the country going rather than being castigated as ‘Chelsea Tractors’, which vehicles such as Land Rovers are not, but essential tools, especially if you reside in rural areas.
This is, of course, ignoring the fact that the sort of tyres you need to be able to properly use a 4×4 in the UK are… banned from sale in the UK! So maybe you should write a petition about that first.
Posted by Ben @ November 23rd, 2009 10:21 pm. Filed under: Duplicate Petitions,Hanging's Too Good For 'Em!,These Kids Today With Their Modern Haircuts And Hippetty-Hop Music,You and What Army? — Tags: Mr Alan Mann —
All of these “enforced National Service” petitions are, I am sure, having a detrimental impact on my blood pressure. I may stop sharing them entirely. For now, though, here’s another one.
by Mr Alan MannThis may help and / or stop the violence that is currently happening in the UK with respect to other people’s lives. If this was compulsory then it may even make them think before some of their atrocious actions. Incidentally if this became a prerequisite, this law may be helping out more than one person in the future.
Sigh. I need to see a doctor. This isn’t healthy.
(Sidenote: I like to think that Mr Alan Mann is that gormless fella from Little Britain who went into a toy shop looking for a pirate memory game suitable for children between the ages of 4 and 8).
Posted by Ben @ November 13th, 2009 8:25 pm. Filed under: NOOOOOO!!!,Really REALLY Bad Ideas,These Kids Today With Their Modern Haircuts And Hippetty-Hop Music,You and What Army? — Tags: Lewis Ward —
by Lewis WardLack of discipline & respect for Society are two major problems afflicting large numbers of young people today. The return of compulsory national service, with military discipline (although not necessarily military training), would teach our youth to be valuable members of society whilst helping various military and voluntary efforts overseas.
Posted by Ben @ October 20th, 2009 7:39 pm. Filed under: "Making Britain Great Again",Duplicate Petitions,My Head Asplode,Really Epic Duplicate Petitions,These Kids Today With Their Modern Haircuts And Hippetty-Hop Music,We're British, Dammit!,You and What Army? — Tags: Mr Justin Lane —
by Mr Justin LaneYoung people need pride in themselves, respect for their community and country, and need to prove their worth to society.
I propose that school leavers are to be made to choose either National Service or Education (university degree or NVQ in full-time employment).
Education cannot be used as an easy ride and I propose the following solution to combat this:-
If education is chosen and a level of commitment is not being maintained (poor performance) or the level of qualification (degree or employment and NVQ) is not attained by their 22nd birthday then National Service will have to be taken at double the duration had they not taken the education route and elected for National Service in the first instance.
