Posted by Ben @ August 6th, 2011 8:20 am. Filed under: ...Or Else!,Anything I Want Should Be Legal,Clearly You've Thought This Through,Commas,Everyone Stop What You're Doing Because You're Mildly Inconveniencing Me,Lord Knows I Ask Not For Myself,My Other Car Is Another Car,Presumably The Prime Minister Is Not Too Busy,Really REALLY Bad Ideas,That'd Be Nice — Tags: Ben Spiller —
Apparently getting rid of that that twelve-second period of waiting at a crossing when there’s nobody there is absolutely vital:
by Ben SpillerThe Prime Minister should make an announcement saying that there are no cameras on any pelican crossings in the country. Then, tell everyone that if the light is on red, and there is nobody on the crossing, just GO! This would save Billions of pounds to the economy, increase our standard of life and reduce carbon footprint.
What, Ben, is your problem? Is your schedule so important that being held up by a red light for a fistful of seconds is enough to throw your entire day out of whack? Here’s some advice – if you find yourself at Pelican Crossing while there’s a red light and nobody waiting to cross the road, just take a deep breath, count to ten, then… ah, fuck that. Just write another angry note to the Prime Minister. Your inability to cope with minor delays is exactly the reason he got into politics, after all.
Posted by Ben @ August 31st, 2010 8:48 pm. Filed under: Batshit Mental Rants,Commas,Exclamation marks!!!!,I Am A Brain!,I Pay Taxes So You Have To Do Anything I Say,I'm Keeping The Whole Class Back,Is Research The Same Thing As Making Shit Up? Good.,It Says So In The Daily Mail,Not actual freedom -- just what I wanted. Which is basically the same thing.,Racism,Sorry, What Was I Talking About?,spelin an grammer,That's SO UNFAIR! I HATE YOU!,This Is The Worst Kind Of Discrimination! The Kind Against Me!,We Don't Take Kindly To Your Type Rahnd These Pahts,We're British, Dammit!,Work Around My Delusions Dammit!,Xenophobia — Tags: JANET —
cancel human rights law, and get out of this e.u monstrous mistake!!!!!!!Why the contribution is important
To give this country the freedom, and rewards, that the true British deserve. The “so called human rights, seem only to work for illegal immigrants, who are known terrorists, thieves, and gang members. You have only to watch documentaries, or read the national press to see what I mean. All the time, you can see “illegals” given housing, some of them, mansions, that cost thousands of pounds ,in the name of human rights. Benefits should only be paid to people who have paid into this country, i.e. tax, and national insurance . We are a laughing stock. The last government, (and I use the word government, loosly) cut funding to universities, so that HOME students only have very few places, the rest of the places, of which there is many, go to foreign students. Only if you are financially independent, can you get a place in university. Some-one I know of, gained the marks at college, which he was told, that last year, with those very same marks, he would have been able to gain access to university, but now, like the funding,every thing has been changed! The worst thing was, he was told ” It’s a pity you cant go to Africa, for three yearsbecause then, you could have come back to this(his own country of birth) as an overseas university student.
You can’t argue with that. You really can’t. Not because it’s accurate in any way, but because doing so is like volunteering to have your frontal lobe slowly sawn off with a piece of rusty barbed wire.
Posted by Ben @ March 23rd, 2010 5:21 pm. Filed under: Commas,I'm serious! — Tags: Daniel Bascomb-O'Brien —
by Daniel Bascomb-O’BrienWe petition the Prime Minister to bring back into UK geography, the great and ancient county of Wessex.
Okay. Er. Why?
Posted by Ben @ March 1st, 2010 6:10 pm. Filed under: Commas,Nanny Knows Best,spelin an grammer,The Nasty Television Upset Me! — Tags: robert asvadi —
by robert asvadiMay I ask how can we justify restricting advertisng of some foods , by brand names , before certain time, as it may encourage children and others to eat supposedly unhealthy food, but try to encourage ordinar people like you and me, to gamble their life away and cause misery to themselevs and thier families, and who do you think has to pick up the pieces, Tax payer and goverment!
Because adults are supposedly able to make informed, sensible decisions, while children are not.
Also, your last name makes you sound like a Doctor Who villain.
Posted by Ben @ February 11th, 2010 9:01 pm. Filed under: Anything I Want Is A Human Right,Commas,Oh Yeah? Let's See You Write A Better Petition! — Tags: Kalvis M. Jansons —
We’ve had a couple of petitions from Kalvis Jansons, and each time adds something to his name. Last time he acquired a middle initial (I’ve chosen to believe it stands for “Marmaduke”). This time he has apparently acquired a doctorate.
by Dr Kalvis M. JansonsBeing allowed to vote is a basic human right, and should, therefore, extend to prisoners.
Should it? I’m not entirely convinced. What do you think, gentle reader?
Posted by Ben @ January 16th, 2010 10:41 pm. Filed under: Commas,I Am A Brain!,Rejected Petitions,spelin an grammer — Tags: Paul Painter of ummmmmmmmmmmmm —
by Paul Painter of ummmmmmmmmmmmm (rejected)my green idea
I got an idea, have you, if you have lets have a look, as i said i have an idea, it will work, but its a big idea
I’m quite confident that these are actually lyrics from a song on Ringo Starr’s new album.
Posted by Ben @ December 29th, 2009 9:03 pm. Filed under: Anything that passes the spellchecker must be what I meant,Apostrophe's,Clearly You've Thought This Through,Commas,Hang on -- This Should've Been Rejected,I'm Keeping The Whole Class Back,I'm serious!,Just Crazy Enough To Work,My Other Car Is Another Car,Oh Yeah? Let's See You Write A Better Petition!,Really REALLY Bad Ideas,spelin an grammer,You Know - We Haven't Banned Anything Lately. — Tags: "eva" —
NOTE: This petition has been removed from the ePetition site, and the author of the petition has agreed to allow us to keep it on the site provided the name is changed. We have tweaked it so the petition is credited simply to “Eva”.
by “Eva”Band planes, cars and anything which is causes global warming. Auto mobiles should only be used for Emergency services only. This would stop pollution, and stop fatel car and plane accidents. Why dont we face up to it, that as a modern race we will not do anything to prevent global warming unless it is against the law. Prime minister’s of the world should take charge, and stop relying on the hope that we will take Tv documentary’s seriously unless we are faced with real forceful dramatic action. A tough challenge for us to except and adapt to, either way this is the only positive solution which would do us no harm.
Yes, it’d do us no harm. Well, besides totally screwing up our economy, of course, because we wouldn’t be able to get the few goods we do manufacture to their destinations, nor would we be able to transport the goods we import.
Also, everything else that’s wrong with your idea.
Posted by Ben @ November 23rd, 2009 11:34 pm. Filed under: ...Or Else!,Commas,Exclamation marks!!!!,Hanging's Too Good For 'Em!,Lord Knows I Ask Not For Myself,spelin an grammer — Tags: kelly lawler —
by kelly lawlerits a hard ,full time job being a parent and very rewarding too ,but its not fair how some parents have to struggle alone. most of us dont have help on hand and struggle to make ends meet. the absent parent should face a jail sentance if they dont pay for their children.the csa does not do enough and are lenient on the absent parent. this is wrong. you can go to jail for not paying council tax so why cant you go to jail for not paying child support? children are more important. it takes 2 to make a baby,you should not be allowed to run away from your responsibilty. pay or face jail !!!
And, what, once they’re in jail they’ll see the error of their ways and start paying, will they?
Posted by Ben @ November 23rd, 2009 10:55 pm. Filed under: Commas,Thank You For Coming -- It's Been Very Useful,There's No Time For Thinking! — Tags: Tony Hawdley —
I love the childlike mentality of this petition.
by Tony HawdleySave the Chandlers from Somali pirates. In an era where we, the UK are supposed to be taking a stance towards combating terrorism, surely we should also send out a message to these pirates that the UK is not to be messed with? What are the SAS for? The regiment must be itching to get into some action! Get the guys of 22nd SAS regiment in there now and remind the rest of the World we still have a spine.
Send in the SAS to beat ‘em up! They got guns and that!
Posted by Ben @ October 20th, 2009 7:30 pm. Filed under: Commas,Duplicate Petitions,I Am A Brain!,These Kids Today With Their Modern Haircuts And Hippetty-Hop Music — Tags: Kay Cossington —
by Kay CossingtonAs the law stands, minors under the age of 10, cannot be charged with criminal damage, therefore we are seeking for a change in the law that allows the Police to be able to arrest and charge their parents for the offence instead.
We have more or less already had this conversation and the idea was deemed to be rubbish.
