Filed under: Not actual justice -- just what I wanted. Which is basically the same thing., Rejected Petitions, spelin an grammer — Tags: David — Ben @ 12:48 am
by david (rejected)I was arrested for an unlawful action my girlfriend left at 3am on a busy city centre street the police did not care for her safety they used excessive force broke thier police oath and so did the judge and i am seeking justice revenge the police broke thier rules and broke commonlaw of england and cctv proves it it has been to magistrates court and crown court now i want further action for our behalf then may be i’ll vote for an elected goverment and not some unelected as i neved voted for you to get into power
I love how this petition starts off as “I have a problem, help!” and descends into “I NEVER VOTED FOR YOU SO YOU’RE AN UNELECTED GOVERNMENT BWAAA”. Marvellous lunacy.
Filed under: Gibberish, Rejected Petitions — Tags: John — Ben @ 12:38 am
by john (rejected)Put some type of Governmental seperation[LOGO] on advertising to condone behaviour on UK television which causes loss of impact, earnings and response of the advising social behaviour in the advertisement.
I’m not entirely sure but I think, I think, John is asking the British government to endorse pretty much every product that is socially responsible. But… only when they… air… on TV soaps?
No, you’ve lost me.
Filed under: I'm Keeping The Whole Class Back, Young, Dumb, And Online, spelin an grammer — Tags: Peter Dunford-King — Ben @ 7:36 pm
by Peter Dunford-KingYears 10 and 11 are the two most important years at secondary school. At this age, whilst under taking GCSEs, students have enough to contend with without compulsory PE. Every 14, 15 and 16 year old understands the basic importance of physical excercise and no longer needs to be taught it. The time spent on PE in Years 10 and 11 could be much better utilised to do work that will affect career choices and futures in the world of work.
“Every 14, 15 and 16 year old understands the basic importance of physical excercise [sic]“? Really? Are you sure about that?
Filed under: Exclamation marks!!!!, Won't Somebody Please Think Of The Children?, spelin an grammer — Tags: Mrs Stephanie Phillips — Ben @ 9:32 am
by Mrs Stephanie PhillipsA Convicted paedophile lives across the road from a Primary School! Litrally – he only has to look out of his window to watch the children! If his house was a council or rented he would be made to move.. as he owns his house, there is no law to say he has to move! He should NOT be allowed to live near a school full stop!! I would like to start this petition to make it a Priority to protect our children and make sure no paedophile is allowed to live within 5 miles from a school or park!
Yeah! If he wants to stare at children he should ride a bus like everybody else!
Honestly, I’m not in favour of letting convicted paedophiles live so close to schools, but 5 miles? I’ve walked that. It’s nothing. And you can’t really increase that distance because what you’re asking for then is for paedophiles to live out in the woods, or in the countryside or something, isolated from the rest of society.
Oh, I get it. That’s actually very clever!
Filed under: Nanny Knows Best, spelin an grammer — Tags: Mrs Renate Fox — Ben @ 9:28 am
by Mrs Renate FoxWith such a growing problem with Alchol and Crime, would it not make sense to have the Goverment control Alchol sales by taking it away from the Supermarkets and corner stores. If the Goverment took control by opening Goverment controled stores where it would be impossible for under aged persons to buy and stop all this cheap Alchol that encourages people to drink more.
State-controlled alcohol? That’s a new one.
Filed under: Anything that passes the spellchecker must be what I meant, Gibberish, Really Epic Duplicate Petitions, Rejected Petitions, spelin an grammer — Tags: Johanna Yohara Robby — Andrew @ 10:01 pm
by Johanna Yohara Robby of Piano World (rejected)In Southwark and Lambeth constituecies we are questioning the rules and ownership of Grand / Upright Pianos in public spaces as churches, pubs schools and halls in Southwark and Lambeth that are not beign used at all in any activity specialy concerts, recitals, marathons, lessons, choir -song accompaiment.
Owners of public spaces with an Upright or Grand Piano will consequently find performers willing to perform and able to accept commissions and so they will be compelled to feature a proportion of standard repertoire.
The Owners may be inviting the audience to engage with Piano activities. Promoters / Publishers must be taken in association with the Piano owners and the Piano performers. We have established that the direct costs to a performer of preparing a new repertory is very considerable, in some cases astronomical, while performances of serious contemporary works are few in comparison to performances overall. Generally Piano Concert will have four categories of performances. Ones in whom they believe in absolutely for the quality of their work, even knowing that they will become commercially or contemplative
Posted here:
Filed under: Everyone Stop What You're Doing Because You're Mildly Inconveniencing Me, Please State The Nature of the Medical Emergency, That's SO UNFAIR! I HATE YOU!, What a Baby, Won't Somebody Please Think Of The Children?, spelin an grammer — Tags: gemma — Ben @ 9:41 pm
by gemmasepearate scanning areas in the hospital for women who have misscarried, its seems like a sick joke when you have lost your baby to be sent to sit in the maternity block for your scan to confirm the worst! to have to sit in a room full of pregnant women talking about how many weeks/months pregnant they are and weather its a boy/girl even tho you are happy for them it still kills you listening to it and thinking about your baby your never going to meet its terrible! surely women in my situation have felt the same and being in a different part of the hospital would help slightly!
Filed under: Sex! Sexy... sex!, Won't Somebody Please Think Of The Children?, spelin an grammer — Tags: MR Anthony French — Ben @ 5:44 pm
by MR Anthony FrenchIts Wrong To Give 7 Year Olds Sex Education And Should Be Taught By Parents OR Secondary Schools. I Dont Want My Child Knowing About Sex At 7 Years Old.
Well When Would Be A More Convenient Time For You?
Filed under: Just Like That!, That'd Be Nice, spelin an grammer — Tags: Mac Rutherford — Ben @ 7:22 pm
by Mac RutherfordThis country is absolutely filthy, helping to create the ‘broken society’ that many people believe that we live in. I am ashamed to drive along many of the roads in the UK, the roadsides piled high with bottles, plastic, take away items, cans etc etc.Ponds & rivers are often polluted with rubbish floating around, helping to destroy the wildlife. Laybys often don’t even have litterbins! The streets in our towns & cities are full of rubbish, chewing gum, fag ends,cigarette packets,sweet wrappers, graffiti etc.Bins overflow everywhere & seem to be rarely emptied, this leads to a sense of decay & that British could’nt care less atitude. Many tourists are shocked! My solution is to employ teenagers on Community service to work on this & to do something constructive with their time, I also would bring in heavy fines, ie £1000 a time, for throwing rubbish, rather like Singapore where there is zero rubbish. After a short period,of government advertising , after the first few people were fined , we would all become used to it, & what joy to travel our roads & walk in the towns & countryside again, free of the litter of modern society!
Filed under: Commas, Nanny Knows Best, The Nasty Television Upset Me!, spelin an grammer — Tags: robert asvadi — Ben @ 6:10 pm
by robert asvadiMay I ask how can we justify restricting advertisng of some foods , by brand names , before certain time, as it may encourage children and others to eat supposedly unhealthy food, but try to encourage ordinar people like you and me, to gamble their life away and cause misery to themselevs and thier families, and who do you think has to pick up the pieces, Tax payer and goverment!
Because adults are supposedly able to make informed, sensible decisions, while children are not.
Also, your last name makes you sound like a Doctor Who villain.
Filed under: Hanging's Too Good For 'Em!, Rejected Petitions, spelin an grammer — Tags: Sharon Cooper — Ben @ 4:20 pm
by Sharon Cooper (rejected)If Adultry was actually a law punished by castration or female circumsition. This would put people off doing it and would also save goverment endless divorce fees paid by legal aid.This punishment would also cost alot less than prison.
Either that or it’d put a stop to marriage entirely.
Filed under: I AM TALKING!, Rejected Petitions, The PM Is The Bloke Who Runs The Football Right?, spelin an grammer — Tags: Billy Roberts of fight for united — Ben @ 6:25 am
by Billy Roberts of fight for united (rejected)this petition is on behalf of all manchester united supporters to try get malcolm glazer out of manchester united football club as he has bought the club with borrowed money which leaves the club having to pay massive interest rates talks of selling old trafford and the carrington training complex and its only time before we have to sell our best players somethig has to be done and fast GLAZER OUT LUHG
It’s funny if you read “GLAZER OUT” in the voice of Cole from Scrubs season nine. “Glazer… owtt!“
Filed under: It Says So In The Daily Mail, Rejected Petitions, spelin an grammer — Tags: Michael O'Neil, Ollie hart — Andrew @ 10:44 pm
by ollie hart (rejected)we should do this as a child has more sense than gordon brown
by Michael O’Neil (rejected)I WANT the ELECTED BRITISH Goverment who now reside now in Power. Who are servants of the people not the people who are servants to the goverment. Give to me a resettlement grant to leave this country to set up home elsewhere outside of the British Isles. As this Elected Goverment pays non-british persons who have not contributed to our society in any way, giving out benefits and other handout’s to persons only wanting to benefit from this institution. Also this goverment are going to pay insurgents in Afganistan not to shoot? The monies it pays to foreign persons to leave the British shores as a thank you resettlement grant is way beyound the pale. Therefore the Britsh Goverment owe it to me; MICHAL O’NEIL. The choice to become non-british and therefore have to pay me a resettlement grant to reside in another country of my choosing.
Bonus points for mis-spelling your own name.
by Michael O’Neil (rejected)More details cannot be shown
You may wonder why I’d include this in what is obviously a post of ‘ah, the government is generally crap’ petitions, but it was rejected because “it contained the names of individual officials of public bodies” so really it was less a sound environmental proposal than it was a hit.
Filed under: I AM TALKING!, Please State The Nature of the Medical Emergency, spelin an grammer — Tags: SHEILA of OURLOVEDONESTOOKTHEIROWNLIVES — Ben @ 6:00 pm
And now, a suggestion that, if implemented, cannot under any circumstances be abused:
by SHEILA of OURLOVEDONESTOOKTHEIROWNLIVESPlease make sure that with regard to Mental Health services the parents/ next of kin or loved ones that know the patient should always be listened to and referred to. If a parent or loved one feels that their child needs to be sectioned under the mental health act then they must be listened to..they know the child better than anyone. If they are not listened to then they should be given a very good reason why and the professionals should accept the responsibility of events that could occcur by way of ignoring the request
“Oh yes, my mother is definitely unhinged. Can you put her somewhere else? We’re planning on converting her room into an office, you see.”
Filed under: I AM TALKING!, I'm Keeping The Whole Class Back, Unintentional Irony, Won't Somebody Please Think Of The Children?, spelin an grammer — Tags: Keith Jones — Ben @ 12:57 pm
Our good friend Keith Jones took a three-month break from being mad, but he’s back.
by keith jonesi have been told that the learning books which parents can get to do extra learning at home with they child are not good enough and that i have been stopped my the head teacher of my daughter school beacon hill primary first school. i want the public of the uk that every school should have in place where every parents can have access to what the kids are getting taught at school so we can work with the school with out getting banned for doing the extra learning
Good idea. You might want to start with the English textbooks.
Hm. I’m not convinced that he was the real Keith Jones – the one we all know and love. There wasn’t nearly enough self-righteous shouting going on in that petition. Where are you, Keith?
Oh, here you are:
by keith jones of taxpaying pensioner without political nor religious affiliationWe need to put a stop to our government’s gold plating of EU regulations and laws. The blind and silent acceptance of these laws and regulations by our government is done only to put THEM in a good position for future employment in the EU monolith and ABSOLUTELY nothing to do with the running of this now God forsaken country!
Ah, there we are. The indignance, the pomp, the emphasizing with capital letters – slap a request to introduce legislation to change the law on there and we’ve got ourselves a winner. And if I’m not mistaken he’s added a little extra to his moniker, too: he’s now a taxpaying pensioner without political nor religious affiliation!
I don’t know about you, but I simply can’t wait to see what Keith has for us this year.
Filed under: "Making Britain Great Again", Clearly You've Thought This Through, I Am A Brain!, I'm serious!, It's Just A Little Request..., Just Crazy Enough To Work, Really REALLY Bad Ideas, Thank You For Coming -- It's Been Very Useful, That'd Be Nice, Unworkable Ideas, Won't Somebody Please Think Of The Children?, Work Around My Delusions Dammit!, spelin an grammer — Tags: Yvonne Reeves — Ben @ 12:47 pm
by Yvonne ReevesIf the Government get rid of these Flats it will hopefully get rid of the Getto’s and People will Respect where they Live and their Children will grow up as Good Citizens and Parents.
The people who lived in the tower blocks will simply cease to be, and the Happiness Fairy will sprinkle her fairydust on the building site and wonderful houses with beautiful back gardens will sprout out of the ground! The people in the neighbourhoods will suddenly become kind, wonderful, generous people who’ll put away their hoodies, pull out their acoustic guitars, and sing songs of joy and rapture until the sun goes down.
Then they’ll mug everyone.
Filed under: Gibberish, Question marks????, spelin an grammer — Tags: Mr Ed Davison — Ben @ 9:28 pm
I couldn’t care less about what this petition is actually about. I’m more interested to learn where this guy learnt to use punctuation.
by Mr Ed DavisonThis is one of the most important airplanes in U.K. history and it requires saving? Remember the Falklands, the only aircraft in the world capeable of doing that bombing run (was a Vulcan) on Port Stanly Runway.
Filed under: Anything I Want Is A Human Right, Commas, Oh Yeah? Let's See You Write A Better Petition! — Tags: Kalvis M. Jansons — Ben @ 9:01 pm
We’ve had a couple of petitions from Kalvis Jansons, and each time adds something to his name. Last time he acquired a middle initial (I’ve chosen to believe it stands for “Marmaduke”). This time he has apparently acquired a doctorate.
by Dr Kalvis M. JansonsBeing allowed to vote is a basic human right, and should, therefore, extend to prisoners.
Should it? I’m not entirely convinced. What do you think, gentle reader?
Filed under: Unintentional Irony, You Know - We Haven't Banned Anything Lately., spelin an grammer — Tags: mr john chafer — Ben @ 8:55 pm
by mr john chaferwe would like to stop games such as ouija boards being sold as games to children, we understand that certain items are being sold in america,and here in the uk, theses are not games or toys, veiws on websites, have quoted i tried to contact the dead but couldnt, as spiritualist people we have a law as classing us as entertainment, the companies involved should not be marketing these at children, and we would like this stopped
“Please stop selling these entertainment items that clearly don’t work. Yours sincerely, an entertainment item that clearly doesn’t work.”
Filed under: Clearly You've Thought This Through, Featuring A Special Celebrity Guest!, You and What Army?, spelin an grammer — Tags: Bruce Wallace — Ben @ 9:01 pm
Hey guys! Guys! Look who it is!
by Bruce WallaceNeutral countries have little need for a swollen defense budgets because their non-aggresion policies result in few enemies. All current security threats to this country are as a direct result of our aggressive foreign policies, or those of countries that we are allied to. By adopting a stance of neutrality we would greatly reduce the necessity for such a large defense budget.
Oh wait, no. Sorry. My mistake. It’s just some shithead with a poorly thought-out idea.
Filed under: This Is The Worst Kind Of Discrimination! The Kind Against Me!, You Know - We Haven't Banned Anything Lately., spelin an grammer — Tags: Daniel Ingram of britsh.need.work — Ben @ 11:09 pm
by Daniel Ingram of britsh.need.workhi i live in a northen town were there could be more jobs but the district council here as well as sum others seems to stop companys setting up shop and insted thay are just building more housing were thay sould be making more job
If this is the way you write a petition to the Prime Minister maybe it wasn’t your choice of location that got you turned away.
Filed under: Anything I Want Should Be Free, I Deserve Free Money!, This Is The Worst Kind Of Discrimination! The Kind Against Me!, spelin an grammer — Tags: mr james marr — Ben @ 11:06 pm
by mr james marri have been charged, £115 on one month ,then the next month ,i am c £68, where is the fareness,the banks know im on benifits,yet there charge system is over the top,the bank is one you bailed out ,lloyds tsb,i personaly have had to do with out food and heating ,is that fare ,
As you can also see, Mr Marr has also had to cancel the English lessons he so sorely needs. Not to mention a new keyboard.
Filed under: Racism, We Don't Take Kindly To Your Type Rahnd These Pahts, We're ENGLISH not British!, What A Dick, Xenophobia, spelin an grammer — Tags: Carl Brown of Im English and proud — Ben @ 8:42 pm
by Carl Brown of Im English and proudBecome like Australia only let people in that have trades and people we need.
Carl Brown is a racist, xenophobic, bigotted little horse turd. Of course, I’m just speculating based on the evidence presented.
Filed under: Clearly You've Thought This Through, Thank You For Coming -- It's Been Very Useful, This Is The Worst Kind Of Discrimination! The Kind Against Me!, spelin an grammer — Tags: ian yeatman — Ben @ 8:39 pm
by ian yeatmani feel that comparison websites are harming insurance industry as businesses are closing down because people going to a website where its cheaper but by going to an insurance broker everything is explained to you
Yes, Mr Gordon! Save us from the 21st century!
Filed under: Anything I Want Should Be Free, There Their In They're House, You Know - We Haven't Banned Anything Lately., Young, Dumb, And Online, spelin an grammer — Tags: jack wilkinson, Joseph reeves, Matthew Lightfoot — Ben @ 11:59 pm
Let’s ban homework!
by Matthew LightfootThere is no child in the country that likes homework. The main reason is that it is a complete waste of time. The whole point of school is to learn. The supposed idea of homework is to ‘reinforce’ what you have already learned, it doesn’t, if anything it makes it even worse because being set extra tasks on a certain topic will make you lose interest. Therefore it will mean you will become bored and you will do worse in the particular topic the homework has been set on. So sign this petition and stop making children do pointless, boring homework.
by Joseph reevesThere work-load is too much at school its self, let alone having to deal with the stress of homework and other out of hours learning, children wish to use their free time for leisure, not for homework, of course studying is mandatory, but homework should be non-existent
Or, let’s find a cunning way of making everyone do homework all the time forever!
by jack wilkinsongive every child uinder the age of 16 a free laptop to use at school and at home for omework so there’s know escape from homework it’s something you have to do.
Because, y’know, kids won’t use the laptops for games or Facebook or anything like that.