Posted by Ben @ April 21st, 2010 2:12 am. Filed under: Hanging's Too Good For 'Em!,I AM TALKING!,I'm Keeping The Whole Class Back,Presumably The Prime Minister Is Not Too Busy,Reject Rednesday,Rejected Petitions,The Nasty Television Upset Me!,Thinking Things Through Is Just Not British,What A Load Of Bankers — Tags: Aleksands Halamins, Keith Jones, Mrs Theresa Thomas —
Have a petition. Hey, I’m feeling generous – have three.
by Aleksands Halamins (rejected)I am sick and tired of teachers using “sick pay” advantages not to come and teach at school. Moreover, we as a taxpayer finance these sick off days and instead we have to pay the supply teacher as well as the teacher who is “ill”. Making most state school teachers self-employed will make them realize that that’s the way it goes: if you don’t come to school to teach – you wont get paid, as simple as that! Making the teachers self-employed will have its own disadvantages, however as a self-employed you will pay less tax and also you could make claims. Making the teachers self-employed will improve their attendance. Furthermore, this decision will 100% improve education in BRITAIN!
Yeah! Teachers don’t come to school at all! All they do is lounge about at home watching Diagnosis Murder and raking in the cash. This’ll teach ‘em.
by keith jones of taxpaying pensioner with no political nor religious affiliation (rejected)Gordon Brown has created the worst financial situation in the history of people living on this island. There has to be some merit in considering what horrendous fate should befall somebody who has done more damage to this country than any other single person, living or dead.
Keith Jones there, politely asking the government to think about cutting Gordon Brown’s head off.
by Mrs Theresa Thomas (rejected)This is an official petition to have Frankie Boyle return to the quiz show ‘Mock The Week’. Frankie is an asset to the quiz show and British lives are not the same with out him.
The government have officially rejected your official petition, because it’s officially crap.
Posted by Ben @ April 14th, 2010 6:22 am. Filed under: Genius!,Hadrian's Firewall,Only joking!,Reject Rednesday,Rejected Petitions,The Nasty Television Upset Me!,You Know - We Haven't Banned Anything Lately. — Tags: jay phono of anti-rhino front, John Mckay, Joseph Priory, Miss Katie White, Spencer Steel —
Now that the ePetition site is ore or less closed for the election, every day is Reject Rednesday! But especially today, which is Rednesday. Anyway, hello.
by John Mckay (rejected)We urge the prime minister to ban the afformentioned TV shows urgently as they are encouraging an entire generation of young people to be stupid.These show’s give young people the message that complaining about your feelings for hours on end is somehow socially acceptable, as is overreacting to fairly insignifigant events. They encourage young people to talk about nonsense while at the same time making fun of people who talk about anything even remotely interesting.
Please ban it now
I don’t think it’s the young people who are being made stupid. (more…)
Posted by Ben @ April 8th, 2010 5:33 pm. Filed under: Meta-petitioning,Not Government Business,Reject Rednesday,Rejected Petitions,We Don't Take Kindly To Your Type Rahnd These Pahts,We're British, Dammit! — Tags: Kimberley Ackerley, Mathew Nottingham, Mr R Hook —
We’re running a day late, I know. But there were some lovely rejected petitions last night. Who am I to deny you a show?
by Kimberley Ackerley (rejected)Where jobs are available British workers should be given preference over EU immigrants. These EU immigrants should only be given the jobs if no British citizens are eligible or available to take up the positions. Agencies such as 24-7 recruitment which mainly sign Polish immigrants should not be able to procure the jobs available unless it is proven that there are no British citizens available for the jobs.
This petition was rejected because “This petition presents opinion as fact.” Marvellous! Shall I go on? (more…)
Posted by Ben @ March 24th, 2010 6:00 pm. Filed under: "Making Britain Great Again",Exclamation marks!!!!,Gibberish,I AM TALKING!,Reject Rednesday,Rejected Petitions,This Is What We're Outraged At This Week,We Don't Take Kindly To Your Type Rahnd These Pahts,What Would Idiot-Jesus Do?,You Can't Spell "Spam" Without The PM,spelin an grammer — Tags: Christine Maloney, Dr. Arif Anwar, Keith Jones, miss nicole abernethy, mr.a1.sino.as.s"2".ir.soegihartonotonegoro, Teresa Wright (and her best buddy Jesus) —
Have you ever played The Sims? The people in the game have their own language called Simlish. It’s more or less nonsense words and phrases, a loose string of vaguely French- and Spanish-sounding words hewn together with no real structure, rhyme, or reason.
It also makes much, much more sense than this petition which was, if the name is any indication, submitted by a glitch Pokémon.
by mr.a1.sino.as.s”2″.ir.soegihartonotonegoro,st of swissindo world trust international orbit – nuk/nkri (rejected)to executed, to press release declaration of transaction,” the great freedom “,global immunity owner money world – collateral 2. milliard. 678. 000. 000. mt. 400. kg, on the world bank. clearance program ubs. world bank us$.920. 000. 000. 000. 000. 000,-.To act. bullion big bank ratu mas kencana room a1-1a , new currency N$2. 1. 840. 000. 000. 000. 000. 000,- new grant poundsterling – us dollar – euro. swissindo world trust international orbit.to act.office the great president – big top head quarters united Nations integrated, big top president board of governor ubs. world bank. fed fed. bi, assayers & refiners London azl 18 us/as.1344 – id micro film, dewan ikatan document of internatinal, code 99. 98 series 4 assets , one personal only ,the big top owner legally corporates & institutions : sumber bina Graha 12 istaini agung ngesti tunggal, nuk.nkri-pkc.caraka – owner 101. aster – nasa. trusty prasasty dinasty national international induk army. induk bank. induk negara. badan induk – induk Dunia pusat commando agung system kekuasaan dunia, badan induk lembaga tinggi tertinggi negara bangsa ( lttb. lttn )aae.a2 ina ; 117. 113. 112.itj- icj. k.h.k – flo.
Sounds like an encrypted transmission sent to the La-Li-Lu-Le-Lo. What else have you got for us, Reject Rednesday? (more…)
Posted by Andrew @ March 7th, 2010 6:14 pm. Filed under: ...Or Else!,Anything I Want Is A Human Right,Anything I Want Should Be Free,Don't Worry About What THEY Want,Just Like That!,Lord Knows I Ask Not For Myself,Not Government Business,Reject Rednesday — Tags: george bryans, graham giles, Miss Bethany Gough, Mr Harry Jackson, Mr Nicholas Evanns, Mr Paul Mcilavey of UK Independence Party, Mr Philip Wailing, Mr Tommy Grimshaw —
by graham giles (rejected)We are fed up with politicians not answering a simple yes or no to a petition.
This petition has been rejected.
(more…)
Posted by Ben @ November 28th, 2009 10:34 am. Filed under: Duplicate Petitions,Exclamation marks!!!!,I Petition The Government To Your Name Here,I'm Religious So You Have To Do Everything I Say,Reject Rednesday,Rejected Petitions,Thank You For Coming -- It's Been Very Useful,The Sad Clown,We Don't Take Kindly To Your Type Rahnd These Pahts,You Know - We Haven't Banned Anything Lately.,spelin an grammer — Tags: colin west, Jan Kozminski, Linda Homan, Miss Heidi Thomas, Mr Glen Robson, r gillespie —
This week’s Reject Rednesday takes place on a Saturday, because I want it to. So let us once again trawl through the ePetition site’s Reject Bin and pay heed to the braying and neighing of farmyard animals.
by Linda Homan (rejected)Please stop all migrants entering the UK. This includes our European partners. Residents from Europe should be allowed in at the rate of one UK person leaving – let in someone from Europe. This is a small island that is already overcrowded and we are facing huge unemployment without additional people. The argument that migrants help with work can no longer be used. We the British people are not prejudiced. However, if we are to remain the great nation that we have always been, we need to stop the madness that migration is bringing all over this wonderful country of ours!
Yes, because the “madness” going on in the UK these days is solely because of people clawing their way onto our shores like mindless zombies, hungry for the brains of employment, nourished only by the knowledge that the job they’re doing now has been stolen from a hard-working Brit.
The problem with people like this is that they’re complaining about immigrants taking our jobs in one breath, and then decrying “Benefit Britain” in the next. The irony of this is just sickening.
Posted by Ben @ November 11th, 2009 4:07 am. Filed under: I AM TALKING!,I Have A Sense Of Perspective: Problems That Are Far Away Appear Small To Me.,I Pay Taxes So You Have To Do Anything I Say,Presumably The Prime Minister Is Not Too Busy,Reject Rednesday,Rejected Petitions,That'd Be Nice,The Nasty Television Upset Me!,What A Dick,What A Load Of Bankers,Young, Dumb, And Online,spelin an grammer — Tags: James Harris, Jonathan Hall, kennerz of kennerz, Kimberley Petts of Fareham college, Ms S Winter-Smith, Theresa —
It’s Wednesday, and that means it’s time to pick at the Reject Bin and see what the British Government had too much common sense to allow the public to sign.
by Jonathan Hall (rejected)This elite ninja force (which should be named NINJA: National Interest Ninja Japanese-y Awesomeness) would take on most of the killing people-type jobs the armed forces have to do so they could concentrate on shouting at people.
I believe this would greatly reduce the government’s spending on defence, thus freeing up more money for education and health.
Brilliant.
(more…)
Posted by Ben @ November 4th, 2009 12:24 pm. Filed under: Can't someone else pay the tax?,I AM TALKING!,I Am A Brain!,I Petition The Government To Your Name Here,Not actual justice -- just what I wanted. Which is basically the same thing.,Nothing Should Ever Change!,Only joking!,Please State The Nature of the Medical Emergency,Reject Rednesday,Rejected Petitions,Thank You For Coming -- It's Been Very Useful,The Nasty Television Upset Me!,What A Load Of Bankers — Tags: Anthony Franks OBE of The Franks Family, Christian Dwyer, Colin Andrew Brown, JANET, Jim Hackett of none, mr iain musgrove, Paul Nosprout of Nosprouts, Richard McManus —
That’s right folks, it’s time for another slice of general ignorance!
by Christian Dwyer (rejected)I think it is unjust and unfair that we have no choice but to pay a television licence to the BBC but they only produce 4 episodes of the massively popular soap ‘EastEnders’ per week. This is probably the second most popular BBC broadcasting after the news. It is almost unanimous national opinion that there should be a new episode aired on Wednesdays, Saturdays and Sundays, where there currently is not.
Unjustified self-entitlement – it’s what Britain does best. (more…)
Posted by Ben @ October 28th, 2009 8:25 am. Filed under: Don't Worry About What THEY Want,Duplicate Petitions,I Pay Taxes So You Have To Do Anything I Say,Racism,Reject Rednesday,Rejected Petitions,Xenophobia,spelin an grammer — Tags: Allan Howard, Jessica Wilson of Citizen, marc mcfarlane of hgv driver, Mr McCormick —
Ready for a smattering of rejected petitions on the submit of racism, xenophobia, and general douchebaggery? No? Well tough, because they’re here.
by Jessica Wilson of Citizen (rejected)I would like a Law passed to enable this to happen, i am fed up of ethnic races moving to Britain and expecting us to conform to their religion, education etc, if they cant abide by they way we live and our Laws, send them back to where they originally came from.
More after the jump. (more…)