Posted by Ben @ July 29th, 2009 7:25 pm. Filed under: George Orwell Had The Right Idea,I Pay Taxes So You Have To Do Anything I Say,Racism,We Don't Take Kindly To Your Type Rahnd These Pahts,We're British, Dammit!,What A Dick,Xenophobia — Tags: Joanne Lawrence —
When Immigration/Police officers find illigal immigrants/assylum seekers they should be micro chiped. At present while they are being investigated they are freed from custody and requested to report to a particular police station on a regular basis. They never do. This way the system can keep better records on how many we have in our country at any given time and know where they are if/when deportation is required.
And remember to spay or neuter your illegal immigrants.
Posted by Ben @ July 21st, 2009 6:14 pm. Filed under: Question marks????,Racism,spelin an grammer,We Don't Take Kindly To Your Type Rahnd These Pahts,Xenophobia — Tags: Mr Nick Ayling of na —
You said british jobs for British people… why are we still waiting for you to do this…. All you ever do is excuses and lies and never do what you say you are going to do. British people shpould come first but it seems under your leadership if you are foreign you can get a job, or benefits before and more so than British people why is that????
“Plane English”? Ooh, so close.
Posted by Andrew @ July 18th, 2009 4:35 pm. Filed under: Oh Yeah? Let's See You Write A Better Petition!,Racism,Rejected Petitions —
After the tragedy of the European Election Results, we counsel the Prime Minister to not think democratically, but think of the welfare of the British Population by introducing limitations onto the BNP.
Posted by Andrew @ May 6th, 2009 7:39 pm. Filed under: Couldn't If He Wanted To,Gibberish,I'm Keeping The Whole Class Back,Is Research The Same Thing As Making Shit Up? Good.,It Says So In The Daily Mail,Not actual justice -- just what I wanted. Which is basically the same thing.,Racism,Really REALLY Bad Ideas,Rejected Petitions —
I’m afraid I have bad news… your son died last night.
I’m afraid I have some more bad news… it was suicide.
I’m afraid I have yet more bad news… he killed fifty innocent people in a bombing.
Oh, and one more thing…
This will play on the mind of would be suicide bombers- as they will know they will directly hurt their own loved ones by carrying out their selfish act.
Assets of the parents (although an irrelevant, miniscule amount) will be seized to help aid victims, to further resources and to deter further attacks.
You are far less likley to blow yourself up and cause mass murder if you knew your family will directly suffer as a result of your actions.
You know what we need? More wars: ‘…Pass a Law stating that the Minister for Defence must have served at least four years in one of HM Armed Forces, and have had no serious disciplinary actions taken against them’ — Master Christopher Leavesley
It’s vitally important that nobody without a high salary become an MP:
my reasons for asking you to publish mp earnings before elections is for them to prove they entered parliment to serve. and not as stated to line their pockets.
You know, because the upper classes have been so good at it of late.
And now, for some light-hearted nonsense:
We all wish to see a full and frank investigation into what is not just claims of lies and injustice but can be backed up with documented records of accounts and original reports and letter’s and diary inputs also witness statements form many professionals and various other valid personals.
If this passes: ‘…Everyone who commits a crime/offence should have them same done to them. Life should also mean life.’ — James Fox then I think we can expect an increase in rape.
There are few legitimate reasons to purchase or use a baseball bat in the UK! Baseball is not our national game, it is considered a niche sport in the UK and we have no significant major or mini league.
The use of baseball bats have a greater impact, quite literally ,in criminal activity in the UK!
It is my belief that purchased baseball bats are highly likely to be used in criminal activity, violent assault , intimidation and criminal damage -
Therefore I would petition that the sale of bats be banned (with exception for legitimate sports associations).
If one takes the view that when a bat is purcased in a sports retail store – it is likely to be used in some element of criminal activity …..we need to act.We restrict the sale of knives and guns and should therefore now assess bats.
Consider when the last report of violence with a cricket bat was reported compared to a baseball bat and my point is made. Please help me to send a resounding message to the legislature to address this issue.
There are few legitimate reasons, but I’m pretty sure I can think of one. I love the idea, though, that people will continue not to hit each other with cricket bats if baseball bats are banned. It’s so charming. No, cricket’s far too polite for that. It’d be great, though, wouldn’t it? You’d see a chap get mugged on the street and say to your friend, ‘ooh, that’s not cricket’, and he’d say, ‘technically, it is!’ Oh, the hilarity.
Was anybody else hoping this: ‘…Provide a FREE pedometer to every school child in the UK.’ — Mr Charles Ambrose Walduck was to alert children to nearby paedos?
I heard once, the NHS treated this brown coloured chap, and didn’t even charge him. It’s a disgrace:
It seems that Gordan Brown has commited an act/s of treason for allowing islam to come before freedom of speech and the rights of british citizens whom he is supposed to serve and protect from threats and terrorists.Benefits are being paid to UK muslims so they can buy UK equipment and bomb making components to kill British troops abroad with his full knowledge.
They really have to abolish the dirty-bomb allowance.
You know what else we should abolish? Stubbing your toe. Hurts, doesn’t it? ‘…Abolish the social class system’ — Conor And your idea makes about as much sense.
Posted by Ben @ February 4th, 2009 4:14 am. Filed under: Hadrian's Firewall,I AM TALKING!,Racism,Really REALLY Bad Ideas,spelin an grammer,Unreasonable Demands,We Don't Take Kindly To Your Type Rahnd These Pahts,We're British, Dammit!,What A Dick,Won't Somebody Please Think Of The Children? —
Children in schools should be taught to use text books in Infants, Junior and first part of comprehensive school. That’s what school should be all about!!! They should not even know what the internet is until 18. This is why it’s so easy for paedophiles to come online when young children are in chatrooms.
Things Mr Ashurst did right in this petition:
Things Mr Ashurst did wrong in this petition:
As we are in recession. there are ALOT of british people un-employed because of the credit crunch. I think that when we have times like this where we are in recession. Well we should send the migrants home to give us british a chance to find a job and then there will not be as many people on Job seekers allowance.
Irony: Stacy Hughes’ Grandmother is Polish. Well, not really. But wouldn’t that be funny? But seriously Stacy, do fuck off. Thanks.
This petition is about the very urgent and growing problem of Climate Change which is proved to be real and proved to be caused be human activity and which we must do somthing about now.
Climate Change is a very urgent and growing problem, and I admire your zeal, Atticus. However I think it’s worth noting that your suggestion is completely sodding unrealistic. It’s all well and good to say “Cut it all out by 2019!” but… well, how? You dozy bastard.
Official statistics show that the number of foreign workers has risen by 175,000 since Brown’s speech, while the number of British in work has fallen by 46,000.
The suggestion offered in the signatures aside, maybe it’s because they’re doing all the shit jobs none of the people born in the UK seem to want to do.
The disintegration of the UK is revealing the survival of the first European nation state, that of England and of her great people, the English. The English have had the most remarkable history of any people and have made a uniquely valuable contribution to the world.
The English invented Parliament, based it in Westminster and this is aptly called ‘the Mother of all Parliaments’ around the world. England developed into the first modern nation state. The English monarchy and much of our constitution survive (under the declining British state), ready to re-emerge as we regain our national independence.
The English people are famed for their national values: those of fairness, equality, of enterprise and of toleration. But we are also known for having produced the world’s greatest poets and novelists.
Nor should England’s genius and achievements in the fields of invention in technology and science be overlooked. This new English Museum should be the national museum for the whole of England, lending objects and sharing expertise across our nation.
This new English Museum will tell the story of England, its land, people and culture.
So basically, you want a large building in which you will find a plate of Fish & Chips, and a bunch of Doctor Who DVD box sets. And Stephen Fry.
As a dad of 3 i have had an active part in their life i am a very good dad and have a fantastic relationship with all 3 of them i have now splitt with their mom and to revenge our splitt she has stopped me seein them as a hard working dad i can not get legal aid my solicitors fee is £100 per hr my court fees are a round £175 and growing why is this beeing allowed to happen i have done nothing to hurt my children in any way i want to see them so they can also deal with the split of their parents the last time i had my children is 3 months ago im under the doctor as i feel i cant go on WHY IS THIS BEEING ALLOWED TO HAPPEN LET THE LAW BE CHANGED NOW give me the right to see my children by law as now if the mom says i cant see them then thats it i am a good man let me look my children in the eyes and say to them i changed the law to see you and for every other farther who is going though this its so wrong i can not begin to tell you how i feel im so angry about this law you can make a change in my life and every other family so why dont you do it now my email address is phillwad@hotmail.co.uk if anyone can help me with this matter please do or let me no if you are going though this to il be happy to respond to you thank you phillip wadley.
I completely agree with you. You should be allowed to see your children, so long as you promise – and I mean reeeally promise – that you won’t under any circumstances try to teach them English. Let their school worry about that.
BUY BRITISH AND SUPPORT OUR WORKFORCE.
BARACK OBAMA HAS SAID “BUY AMERICA” – WHY NOT THE UK.
EUROPE IS NOT THE ANSWER TO OUR PROBLEMS
What country was your keyboard made in? Because it looks like your CapsLock key might be stuck.
We need Sarah’s Law to be able to protect our children, at least if we are given the choice to know the whereabouts of these monsters we can then choose wheather or not to let our children play outside. We can obtain a list of all ASBO’s which are just petty criminals, yet you are denying us the right of finding out if there are evil twisted people living near us that can do unthinkable things to our little children! This is something that needs to change NOW.
Because while an individual may take that information and put it to good use, People are stupid. People will look at the addresses and decide it might be worth paying some of these people a visit, perhaps stopping at B&Q to pick up some bricks and pitchforks on the way.
Additionally, Julia Lightfoot added to her signature the comment, “why should convicted paedophiles not face the consequences of their actions?” They already have faced consequences. They spent time in a prison. That’s why they’re convicted sex offenders, you dolt.
Posted by Ben @ January 23rd, 2009 1:56 am. Filed under: I Am A Brain!,I Have A Sense Of Perspective: Problems That Are Far Away Appear Small To Me.,I'm Keeping The Whole Class Back,Maybe... but not for THAT reason,Nothing Should Ever Change!,Presumably The Prime Minister Is Not Too Busy,Racism,spelin an grammer,Unworkable Ideas,We're British, Dammit!,What Would Idiot-Jesus Do?,Young, Dumb, And Online —
The Union Jack has stood for 200 years, DON’T CHANGE IT NOW!
I didn’t know they were planning to.
Marriage is making a solemn vow by two people between man and God to live together till death. Therefore it should be for life. If a person knowingly marries another through deception, and it is found out that there was a hidden agenda and achieve British status however, long when it is discovered the status should be removed from the person and then deported.
I want to agree with you, but you appear to be under the impression that marriage now is exactly the same as it was in the 30s. God, whether you believe He exists or not, has bugger-all to do with marriage today. You plumb.
Ryde council tax UP 6%. Even though house prices have fallen?!
A reminder: The global economy is down the shitter. Try to have a little perspective, will you?
We ask that there be less rules to get a job. The requirements take too many months to go through before a position can be filled. Such as Social Work. This causes too many vacancies. Too much unemployment for those waiting to get a job. Too much burdon on benefits. Too much danger for unhelped clients who can only get agancy assistance. Barbara Ross – Social Scientist – Harmony Care Markets
Firstly, “less rules”? “burdon”? “agancy”? Where the ruddy Hell did you get your degree as a Social Scientist? Because if it’s the same place you learnt English, You may want to double-check their credentials.
Secondly, what rules? Last time I applied for a job, it was easy – I applied by sending a CV, went for an Interview, then hoped for the best. That’s more or less a three-step process, or a two-step process if you only count the ones that actually involve actual effort on your part.
In its time this store has been the back bone of the musicians and music lovers alike, the staff have been instrumental in creating and cultivating exciting events and concerts and must be kept open.Don’t let local independant record shops be pushed out by bigger shops just because its more financially viable! It shuts in February, don’t let that happen!
Clearly the locals think differently, otherwise they’d have shopped there more.
Many people are using the British freedom of demonstration to riot and loot. Many of these people have no loyalty to Britain and show this by flying foreign flags. To stop liberty’s being taken I suggest that anyone flying a foreign flag should face breach of the peace charges.
Fuck right off, will you?
The amount of serious homophobic bullying and abuse going on in our schools is out of order,
As a support member of stonewall I have heard the cases of young teens wanting to end their lives at such a young age due to the torment they get from other teens at school and teachers are not doing anything about this. The United nations has demanded something to be done about this issue last year.
its time for your government to protect these children and bring in tough messures to try and prevent this abuse going on
not only does it mentally scar them in later life but the effects on their education and well being is being is a serious issue and a call for action,
A noble suggestion, but short of giving every bully in the country a lobotomy there’s no way to actually stop bullying of any kind.
Or, basically, make England more like China.
In winter daylight is short and if a school finishes at 3:15 there is no time for the pupils to go out and relax with peers. In the summer it sometimes get really hot and pupils get restless and can’t consentrate from 3 o’clock onwards. Signing this petition will give school pupils a more comfertable day in school.
The top signature aptly sums up my thoughts on this one. I also question the age of the petitioner, so this get classified under “Young, Dumb, And Online”.
Posted by Ben @ January 2nd, 2009 5:04 pm. Filed under: A Rose By Any Other Name Would Be Less Funny,Anything I Want Should Be Mandatory,Hadrian's Firewall,Racism,There's Already A Solution But Don't Let That Stop You From Bothering The PM,Thinking Things Through Is Just Not British,We Don't Take Kindly To Your Type Rahnd These Pahts,What A Dick,What Have Other People Ever Done For Me?,You Know - We Haven't Banned Anything Lately. — Tags: Keith Jones —
The gov’t has proscribed dozens of terrorist groups. It must proscribe al aqsa martyrs brigade for these reasons:
They have committed hundreds of brutal terror attacks, including the use of child suicide bombers (e.g. April 2005), that have killed & maimed hundreds of innocent victims.
The group has a British connection: They claimed joint responsibility for a 2003 terrorist attack carried out by two Britons on a pub in Tel Aviv, Israel. This attack has been cited as the protocol for the 2008 terrorist attack in Mumbai, India.
Their exclusion from the list of terrorist groups is inexplicable given that groups that are far less active, that have killed far few people, & that have no apparent connection to the UK, have been proscribed.
Their exclusion from the list of terrorist groups can only be explained by the political connection to Fatah. The gov’t should do its utmost to prevent terror & not give way to political persuasions.
It would probably be better if Gordon Brown released a statement that said, “Terrorism is, in general, a bad thing.” That way he wouldn’t have to go out of his way to proscribe every single damned terrorist organisation in the world ever.
We request that a Compulsory National Service is introduced where ALL young persons are required by law to serve in the Armed Forces for a minimum of 3 years. We also request the formation of a “Foreign Legion” of would-be immigrants where they would ALL be required to serve for a minimum of 3 years before they have ANY rights of citizenship in the UK. Any immigrant refusing to serve will be deported immediately without the right of appeal.
Wow, Karl. You’re a real dick, huh.
Petition to change NHS prescription charges
Remove the right for job seekers to receive FREE medical prescriptions on the NHS after 6 months of claiming job seekers allowance.
Remove the right for Job seekers to receive FREE dentistry care on the NHS after 6 months of claiming job seekers allowance.
Bring into Law the right for Tax paying workers to receive up to 4 FREE prescriptions on the NHS in any 12 month period.
And this benefits… who, exactly? I’m not sure I understand your thought process here, Mark. Seems to be like you’re just being a dick. Which makes two so far.
I know from experience that Paracetamol destroys the Liver and Kidneys. Even small doses can be harmful. I should know because I have Cirhosis of the Liver myself due to Paracetamol overdose and I am lucky to survive.
Paracetamol does not need a replacement as there is still Aspirin, Ibuprofen e.t.c
The solution here, I think, is to not overdose on paracetamol. Comically, this is a duplicate of a petition Peter Hamilton posted a year ago that expired on March 2008 asking for exactly the same thing.
Immigration into Britain from the EU and beyond should be halted for the next 5 years and seriously lowered after that so the economy can get back on its feet. While we are going through this current financial crisis and the economy weakening we cannot afford to let in more migrants. Whilst they are coming in daily it is causing even more pressure on our economy and costing the taxpayer.
Racist, xenophobic arseholes like this fella will find any excuse to try and stop people from immigrating to the UK. And yet they still insist on buying houses in Spain and France.
I feel that the current customer service in the UK used by the majority of large businesses is appalling and feel that tighter legislation should be set in place to force companies to care more about their customers.
“Virgin Media won’t reconnect my phone line even though I haven’t paid my bill for four months! Call the Police!”
mydeathspace is a site where its members scour the internet and newspapers for stories of people who have died. They then check to see if the deceased had a MySpace profile, and dig up everything they can about this person.
This is done without asking permission from the bereaved families. They simply talk about, make fun of and ridicule the dead without having known them at all. They take pictures from the deceased’s profiles and parade them on the website, and are glamourising death and the dead – which is unhealthy. Their focus on death should be stopped or they should at least need to ask permission of the families of those they wish to discuss.
Is the website tasteless? Yes. But then, so is Little Britain. Look, idiots of the world – you can’t ban the Internet. It’s not going to happen, so stop asking.
And is “K. Jones” our old friend Keith Jones? Maybe!
End the granting of anonymity through judicial action in any case where the person has been convicted through a court of law.
Maybe when people can prove that they won’t track these people down and harass, bully and attack them as has happened in the past with the tabloids’ “Named And Shamed” paedophile lists.
Posted by Ben @ December 16th, 2008 6:21 am. Filed under: Anything I Want Should Be Free,I Am A Brain!,I Have A Sense Of Perspective: Problems That Are Far Away Appear Small To Me.,I'm Keeping The Whole Class Back,It Says So In The Daily Mail,Just Crazy Enough To Work,Racism,Sorry, What Was I Talking About?,spelin an grammer —
The thought that there is no reward or real incentive for true British family values (traditional as it sounds) – one earner in the family, the other partner bringing up the children, loving and caring for the future of their children and the wider contribution that stable family environment promotes. I therefore suggest that in these cases the earning adult’s salary is divided by 2 and the current income tax bands/rates applied to these figures. In the case of a higher rate tax payer the potential would be to split into 2 standard rate tax incomes (granted up to a certain level) and therefore reduce the income tax paid. Both parents are “working” to better the economy.
Gordon Brown should be all over this idea, especially considered that, depending on what tax band the “two” salaries fall under, they could theoretically be drawing twice as much tax out of the family.
Make it illegal for ticket agencies to sell tickets unless they have said tickets in hand and are ready to post them or for ticket agencies to send out tickets in a timely fashion for example at least one calendar month prior to the gig. The reason that ticket agencies use for posting tickets out up to 48 hours before the actual event is to stop ticket touting – if the second hand ticket market really is something that the government wants to stop and not just pay lip service to then it should make hard arrests of all touts at all gigs, stop ebay from selling tickets and actively pursue through court action anybody court selling tickets on ebay.
This petition doesn’t seem to have anything to do with itself. Also: What about online ticket sellers such as TicketMaster who email a digital ticket that has to be printed out? You lemon.
We live in France pay our taxes in the UK but are not paid the winter fuel alowance because we live overseas. We have no option but to pay our taxes in the UK as my husband was emplyed by local authority. We still have to heat our home from our pension. Many people who live in EU countries who were paid winter fuel allowances before leaving the UK are still in receipt of the payment. Why because we live abroad are we exempt and discriminated against but have no option but to pay our taxes in the UK. There is over 55 million pounds unallocated fuel and insolation money in the UK Government coffers but we have no access to it. Mr Brown you are using our taxes but not being fair to us and many many others in the same situation.We ask you to change the governement policy to allow WFA payments for overseas residents.
“Hello, is that the Landlord of the small flat I’m renting but don’t currently live in because I own a house further up the road? Ah, hi there. Listen, the heating’s gone and I was wondering if–… No, not in the flat, no. The house. — Yes, the one up the road. — Well yes, I know you don’t have anything to do with that house but I was hoping you could send a plumber to… hello? Hello? He hung up!”
That all Elderly, In-firmed and Disabled People be given the right in “Law” to access Free Heating and subsidised Food for all on “Benefits”and “Pensions” during the “Winter” months and all “Cold” spells of weather.Futher, laws to protect same if person or person’s, family, public or public services are found wanting.
Call me young and naive, but I don’t understand the philosophy of “Old people deserve free things.” I mean, I get the point of free bus passes for OAPs and disabled people, but suddenly deciding that they deserve free energy, food, etc. seems somewhat silly to me. Maybe I’ll change my tune when I’m older (hint: I probably won’t), but right now it seems a little ridiculous to me.
We are paying an average of £25-£40 More on our shopping bills every week! It is not fare that we are being Ripped off! When fuel started to rise, Food prices did also immediately every week, But now fuel has come down the food prices have stayed the same! I know, I do the shopping. Mr Brown why are they getting away with Ripping us off? You would be helping all families in GB, Don’t you think it would be a big vote winner if you did this? I can’t keep affording 72p for a loaf of bread, that only cost 39p at the start of the summer! Please help us.
Mr Hull (who I always thought had died a few years ago when he fell off his roof trying to adjust his TV aerial) does not seem to understand the current economic crisis that has befallen the entire bloody world.
As every single person in our country knows, millions of people are out of work, and, therfore, are looking for a job to generate income. However, one thing that is being over-looked is the number of migrant workers coming into our country, and taking the jobs that British citizens want and need
In my experience, the immigrants coming over from mainland Europe are only doing the jobs that no other bugger seems to be prepared to do. If we tell these people that they can’t do these jobs anymore, then the jobs won’t be filled at anywhere near the rate that they have been, meaning that jobs in factories, on building sites, and so forth go unfilled and consequently the entire country suffers.
But, hey, never mind that, You just sit there in your Favourite Chair reading that article in the Daily Mail about how British Jobs are quite clearly being Stolen by Pablo the Polishman. Clearly.
Posted by Andrew @ December 14th, 2008 10:05 am. Filed under: Racism,Really REALLY Bad Ideas,Rejected Petitions,Thinking Things Through Is Just Not British,Unnecessary Bureaucracy,Unworkable Ideas,We're British, Dammit! — Tags: Keith Jones —
Serial petitioner Keith Jones has just become the first person (as far as we know) to have 10 petitions mocked on this site. But you know what’s scary?
This represents a tiny fraction of his inane pesterings. According to the search facility, he has submitted a total of 242 petitions to the Government, of which 60% have been immediately rejected.
In celebration, I’ve had a look through some of his old ones and here’s a couple of favourites:
More details cannot be shown
This would mean a resignation every twelve hours.
It is wrong that people can arrive in this country and claim AND BE GRANTED! protection under our Human Rights Act when there is no such protection for them in their home country. Foreigner arrivals in this country KNOW this and that is exactly why they continue to conduct their nefarious and criminal activities because they KNOW that our unjust law system favours them over the indigenous population.
Human Rights are just for British People! (more…)
Posted by Andrew @ December 5th, 2008 5:11 pm. Filed under: Everyone Stop What You're Doing Because You're Mildly Inconveniencing Me,George Orwell Had The Right Idea,It's Just A Little Request...,Not Government Business,Racism,Rejected Petitions,The Nasty Television Upset Me!,Unreasonable Demands,We're British, Dammit!,What Would Idiot-Jesus Do? — Tags: Teresa Wright (and her best buddy Jesus) —
Save Our churches Muslims are buliding their Mosques so they can make this an Islamic state. I am British and I am proud of my culture. The goverment is trying to destroy everything which we hold dear to in this country. I won’t stand for it and neither should any of
you. So who’s with me? Are You? Get signing.
Blessed be the name of the Lord. Blessed be his glorious name.
That’s some impressive paranoia you have there. I shudder to think what was in this one or this one. But I know what was in this one:
I am deeply offended that Western Culture ridcules the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. As a christian I do not like his name to be used in such evil and harmful ways. It should be made ilegal. Everywhere I read in a newspaper or on TV how dare they use My Kings Name like this. All you other christians out there will feel the same way as I do. So Mr Gordon Brown stop sitting on your lazy backside and do something about these people who wish to upset "Us religious people." Because it is the best thing that ever happened to me was giving my life over to christ. So he would change me for the better now I think of others more and I am happy. I am prepared to make a change and turn the whole world to Jesus Christ. Amen
I suspect that a major contributing factor to people casually blaspheming is the raging stupidity of your previous three petitions.
Posted by Ben @ November 26th, 2008 2:26 pm. Filed under: Racism,Unintentional Irony,We're British, Dammit!,What A Load Of Bankers —
The banks caused this recession by irresponsible flawed business models and greed. Therefore they should pay the associated costs rather than future generations and todays society.
Yes, hit all of the banks across the country with fat charges that they cannot possibly pay, forcing them to file for bankruptcy and shut up shop. Congratulations, you’ve just caused what’s left of the economy to collapse!
Immigrants should have to take an oral and written english language test within 3 months of being in the UK to resume working in the uk.
Why limit this to just immigrants? I reckon Vaughn here should be the first person to take the test, and if he fails we should deport him to set an example to all the other Petition Site users.
Posted by Andrew @ November 22nd, 2008 8:54 am. Filed under: Couldn't If He Wanted To,George Orwell Had The Right Idea,Nothing Should Ever Change!,Racism,Rejected Petitions,We're British, Dammit! —
We’ve kind of had a de-facto policy on this blog of ignoring the extensive list of petitions that the government have rejected. Many of these are joke petitions, but I’m not altogether sure why we’ve ignored the rest. They’re all genuine ideas submitted in what must pass for ‘good faith’ among the variously racist, bigoted, reactionary thugs who think they’ve cracked the credit crunch if only the bail-out was divvied up between people just like them. The only difference is that someone in Whitehall decided to click a different button, usually because the petition made no apparent sense. Here is a selection of recently rejected petitions; please let us know in the comments if you think we should mine this huge natural resource of stupid.
I think that people who are under the income band should get EMA. But the people who are over the income band should have there parents pay the £30 a week as they can afford it.
There is still several million foreign workers holding jobs here at a time when we have over 2 million unemployed British workers.
We can’t get the jobs while foreigners still have them.
Sherlock Holmes is one of Britain’s best known fictional characters, internationally recognisable and loved by many. This cultural icon is currently at risk of being ruined by an idiot. The idiot I speak of is Guy Ritchie, creator of a myriad of mockney guff such as ‘Snatch’ and ‘Rock ‘n’ Rolla’. One can only imagine what Guy Ritchie will do to Sherlock Holmes. The only thing we can be certain of is that it will be packed full of mockney caricatures and leave you feeling culturally violated.
I concede it is not possible to ban Guy Ritchie from realising his hideous vision of making a film of Sherlock Holmes but it may be possible to stop him doing it in Britain. There must be a law on the statute book that can be used.
In our opinion, too many people are ‘getting in on the act’ of citizenship and spoiling the general makeup of Englishness by not adhering to the well-established English way of life and furthermore attempting to overwhelm the English indigenous population. We propose that any people(s)who choose to reside in this country should adhere vehemently to the English way of life, swear allegience as such, and thier public presence should be as an English citizen and not impose thier culture in any way, shape or form on the English way of life. To ensure this, there should be relevant laws imposed on all citizens equally within the English community.