Posted by Ben @ August 31st, 2010 8:48 pm. Filed under: Batshit Mental Rants,Commas,Exclamation marks!!!!,I Am A Brain!,I Pay Taxes So You Have To Do Anything I Say,I'm Keeping The Whole Class Back,Is Research The Same Thing As Making Shit Up? Good.,It Says So In The Daily Mail,Not actual freedom -- just what I wanted. Which is basically the same thing.,Racism,Sorry, What Was I Talking About?,That's SO UNFAIR! I HATE YOU!,This Is The Worst Kind Of Discrimination! The Kind Against Me!,We Don't Take Kindly To Your Type Rahnd These Pahts,We're British, Dammit!,Work Around My Delusions Dammit!,Xenophobia,spelin an grammer — Tags: JANET —
cancel human rights law, and get out of this e.u monstrous mistake!!!!!!!Why the contribution is important
To give this country the freedom, and rewards, that the true British deserve. The “so called human rights, seem only to work for illegal immigrants, who are known terrorists, thieves, and gang members. You have only to watch documentaries, or read the national press to see what I mean. All the time, you can see “illegals” given housing, some of them, mansions, that cost thousands of pounds ,in the name of human rights. Benefits should only be paid to people who have paid into this country, i.e. tax, and national insurance . We are a laughing stock. The last government, (and I use the word government, loosly) cut funding to universities, so that HOME students only have very few places, the rest of the places, of which there is many, go to foreign students. Only if you are financially independent, can you get a place in university. Some-one I know of, gained the marks at college, which he was told, that last year, with those very same marks, he would have been able to gain access to university, but now, like the funding,every thing has been changed! The worst thing was, he was told ” It’s a pity you cant go to Africa, for three yearsbecause then, you could have come back to this(his own country of birth) as an overseas university student.
You can’t argue with that. You really can’t. Not because it’s accurate in any way, but because doing so is like volunteering to have your frontal lobe slowly sawn off with a piece of rusty barbed wire.
Posted by Ben @ August 29th, 2010 6:54 pm. Filed under: Racism,Thinking Things Through Is Just Not British,We Don't Take Kindly To Your Type Rahnd These Pahts,We're British, Dammit!,Won't Somebody Please Think Of The Children? — Tags: dlee —
After spending a weekend in the Capital London, I was dissmayed to find no UK citizens working at any of the hotel, theatre, resturant, train and taxis we used. As so many of our own children are now leaving school, college and university and cannot get work at all. I would like to suggest that all uk companies be required to employ at least 70% British and 30% others. All companies with jobs in the UK should be supporting our economy this would get our young people into employment and reduce the numbers on benifits from families that have worked and paid into the system, Foreign students/ exchange yrs students should not be taking all the UK service industry jobs.Why the contribution is important
If all companies employing staff in the UK where to have to employ 70% british and maximum 30% others. This would eleviate the number of unemployed in the UK and give British students a start into industry. It would give british kids some self esteem back and hope for the future.
Translation: “I went into London and all the jobs were being done by dark-skinned people! This is a travesty!”
Posted by Andrew @ April 26th, 2010 7:05 pm. Filed under: Anything I Want Should Be Free,Lord Knows I Ask Not For Myself,Racism,Really REALLY Bad Ideas,Rejected Petitions,Wait a minute... this isn't a petition! — Tags: Keith Jones —
By some margin, the most prolific nonsense-monger on the e-petitions website is a man called Keith Jones, the self-styled Taxpaying Pensioner Without Political Affiliation. He has submitted some 227 petitions so far, of which 196 were rejected for various reasons, and the rest garner signatories numbering between a paltry five and a slightly less paltry seventy five.
Here is one I discovered recently which is broadly representative of his mindset and language:
by keith jones of taxpaying pensioner without political nor relilgious affilationMany criminal defences are based on the fact that ‘it happened because they took drugs before or were drunk at the time of’ the offence which found them in court. If that is the case then the person who sold or supplied the substance or alcohol were accessories before the event and are therefore also entitled to be put before the court and convicted. This is a lot to with being responsible for your actions, something which is not currently in the vocabulary of our society!
Pretty mental, right?
Following a comment posted on this site last night, I’ve done a little digging on Keith Jones. I’ve looked through 141 of his old petitions (the rest having vanished into the archive), and I have discovered that…
Keith Jones lives in South Wales:
by keith jones of taxpaying pensioner without political affiliation (rejected)Now that the recently appointed Chairman has said he may not be able to fulfil the role, Gordon Brown has an opportunity to move away from the ‘establishment’ and to appoint someone who has no interest in become lorded, nor in making a fortune. Keith Jones will do the job diligently, always in favour of the taxpayer, honestly and with transparency and probity AND he will do it without being paid for it. His only fees will be travel costs between his home in South Wales and his office in Westminster, though why he has to have an office in Westminster is the first item on his review agenda.
Keith Jones votes BNP:
by keith jones of taxpaying pensioner without political nor religious affiliation (rejected)This is a party political move which disenfranchises the thousands of voters who put these people into their seats – something our current political leader has yet to achieve – and it cannot be right that a member of an opposing political party can simply order civil servants – who are paid out of the taxes of those he is disenfranchising – to refuse their requests for assistance. Big Brother is here!
This is not surprising considering how frequently he parrots BNP lines about sponging MPs, immigration and so forth.
Keith Jones would like to work in the Government:
Keith Jones thinks standing for Parliament should not require a deposit:
by keith jones of taxpaying pensioner without political affilationThe number of people who have been left penniless because of government policy over the last 12 years means that many who wish to put themselves forward to challenge the corrupt Members of Parliament currently occupying seats in the House of Commons simply cannot afford to do so. There have been many utterances by socialist politicians about ‘lowering the bar’ so that more people can aspire to be MPs (some even argue that is why they were given tax free allowances and unrestricted access to taxpayer pounds in the form of ‘expenses’ in the first place) but the deposit – and the possibility of losing it – continues to put many people off. Removing the deposit is the only way that corrupt elected representatives being replaced by honest elected representatives is going to be achieved in this country.
In last night’s blog comment, Chris pointed out to us that the BNP’s candidate for the Newport East Parliamentary constituency is a man called Keith Jones. I wouldn’t say that they’re definitely the same man, but I’m pretty sure they’re the same man.
Now I know what you’re thinking. It can’t be him, because our Keith Jones doesn’t have a political affiliation. But campaigning with Keith Jones is John Voisey. Voisey is the BNP candidate for nearby Islwyn, and yet his blog states quite explicitly
This is an INDEPENDENT site. It is NOT an official BNP site, neither is it a puppet of the BNP.
and he is apparently keen not to use his real name too near that of the BNP. Make what you will of Keith’s equivalent declaration, but the lady doth protest too much, methinks, and apropos of too little.
Scroll to the top of the page and read his alcohol petition again, and then read more of Keith’s petitions. I particularly like the one where he suggests beheading Gordon Brown. Then, when you’ve formed an opinion about the kind of person the BNP would have represent you in Parliament, go ahead and vote for anyone you like.
Lastly, I’ve uploaded a zip file containing all 141 of the petitions I managed to download, so you can dig through them for incriminating, exonerating, or amusing examples.
Posted by Ben @ March 24th, 2010 9:46 pm. Filed under: Democracy? Isn't That The One Where You Do Everything I Say?,Don't Worry About What THEY Want,Is Research The Same Thing As Making Shit Up? Good.,It Says So In The Daily Mail,Join the Fight Against Nebulous Bad-Sounding Things!,Racism,We Don't Take Kindly To Your Type Rahnd These Pahts,What A Dick,Xenophobia — Tags: Mr Garry Smith —
Garry Smith is a forward thinker. And by that I mean he looks at the future of the EU and thinks to himself, “It’s full of foreigners!”
And the notion of adding more foreigners to the ever-growing throng does not fill him with the warm fuzzies.
by Mr Garry SmithBlock Turkey entering into the EU. 1) Human rights in Turkey are not up to recognised EU standards and may never be despite any promises. Turkey has reluctantly agreed to end its death penalty in a bid to join the EU, but only in peacetime, and this is a country that has had to be forced to outlaw people smuggling to join the EU, it has had to be forced to outlaw this despicable act, it wouldn’t have outlawed it on its own. Turkey is not part of Europe, it is in the Middle East, and has its borders with Iraq, Iran & Syria, who next to join, Iraq or Iran or Syria or all 3? 2) The EU club is big enough and not one British citizen (except the PM) has ever been given the vote for this to happen 3) This will cause an influx of Turkish people to the UK as happened with Poland 4) The majority of British people do not want the EU any larger or Turkey to join it. 5) Its about time the PM went with the majority in his own country and not because it makes him look popular in Europe.
Ah, the “slippery slope” argument. “If Turkey get in, that means Iraq, Iran and Syria will all want to get in! At the same time! They’ll all get stuck in the door as they try to come through! It’ll be anarchy!”
Did Turkey have to be forced to stop capital punishment and bring in tougher laws against human trafficking? Maybe. Sometimes people need to have their arms twisted to do what is ultimately best for them. But to dismiss their entire worth as a nation because of it? To say that they may never reach EU standards? That’s an impressive piece of dickery, Mr. Smith.
Also, I hate the arrogance of assuming that every bloody thing that happens in Parliament or in the EU needs to be voted for by the British public. Personally, I’m overjoyed that “not one British citizen (except the PM) has ever been given the vote for this to happen”, or indeed for any other manner of thing to happen. If the British public were able to vote on every major thing to happen to the UK then they wouldn’t be part of the EU in the first place, nor would gay couples be able to have civil partnerships. Women probably wouldn’t be able to vote, either. And you know why? Because people like things the way they are. Oh yes, there are individuals and groups who rally for social change, but the masses are quite content to plod along in their uneventful little lives, going to their uninteresting jobs, eating their decidedly dull meals and watching their wholly bland but remarkably high-definition televisions.
But of course, this doesn’t have anything to do with any of those points, does it? It’s more to do with the fact that if Turkey gets into the EU Turkish citizens will be able to come and go from the UK as they please. They’ll be able to move here, seek employment, start businesses, own property, just like the Polish. And you don’t like the Polish, do you Mr. Smith? Oh no, of course not. They’re not local. They talk funny, and have strangely uniform haircuts, and eat pastries with odd names spelt with bizarre letters that look like they might be good, sturdy, British letters. But they’re not! And the worst thing about the Polish? They’re white. You can’t even identify them by sight. Anyone you know could be Polish. You could be living next door to a Pole right now and have absolutely no idea!
What this boils down to, Mr. Smith, is your deeply-rooted racism and distrust of anyone who isn’t from a town you can pinpoint on a map of the Great British Isles.
I’m just speculating, obviously.
Posted by Ben @ March 17th, 2010 7:40 pm. Filed under: Racism,We Don't Take Kindly To Your Type Rahnd These Pahts,We're ENGLISH not British! — Tags: Andrew Constantine —
by Andrew ConstantineTo effect this change, the government needs to amend the Town and Country Planning (Control of Advertisements) (England) Regulations 2007 so as to allow our White Dragon flag to be flown in England without our having to secure planning permission.
Would you kindly fuck off?
Posted by Ben @ February 26th, 2010 6:15 am. Filed under: Racism,Rejected Petitions,We Don't Take Kindly To Your Type Rahnd These Pahts — Tags: Keith Jones —
by keith jones of taxpaying pensioner with a wish not to be killed by a foreigner being kept here solely to protect people who live in his home country, from being killed by him (rejected)Anybody who needs an explanation or elucidation of the point of this petition really ought to get on a plane to a Islamic country!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Posted by Ben @ February 4th, 2010 8:42 pm. Filed under: Racism,We Don't Take Kindly To Your Type Rahnd These Pahts,We're ENGLISH not British!,What A Dick,Xenophobia,spelin an grammer — Tags: Carl Brown of Im English and proud —
by Carl Brown of Im English and proudBecome like Australia only let people in that have trades and people we need.
Carl Brown is a racist, xenophobic, bigotted little horse turd. Of course, I’m just speculating based on the evidence presented.
Posted by Ben @ November 13th, 2009 1:09 am. Filed under: I Am A Brain!,I See What You Did There,It Says So In The Daily Mail,My Other Car Is Another Car,Nanny Knows Best,Racism,Thank You For Coming -- It's Been Very Useful,We Don't Take Kindly To Your Type Rahnd These Pahts,What A Dick,You Know - We Haven't Banned Anything Lately. — Tags: Mr Michael Owen —
by Mr Michael OwenWe believe that drivers should have unimpeded vision and that face coverings can cause a significant or potential loss of vision whilst operating a motorised vehicle. We believe this to present a risk of vision being obscured whilst the vehicle is in motion and an increased risk of accident, damage or even death.
In addition, we believe that in the event of an accident, it impedes the ability to identify the driver and could also prevent a Police Officer from effectively investigating a criminal offence if the face of the driver is covered. We point out the fact that there is no religious reason why a driver should drive with a full face covering and therefore on safety and security grounds, it should be banned by an act of law.
The racism in this petition is badly veiled – because, y’know, whenever anyone petitions for a ban on burkhas they’re actually saying “Hello, I am a racist” (and, of course, the URL for this petition kind of gives the game away here). In his haste to be a racist bastard he’s conveniently forgotten that motorbike helmets tend to obscure the face as well. Nicely done there, Mikey.
Posted by Ben @ October 28th, 2009 8:25 am. Filed under: Don't Worry About What THEY Want,Duplicate Petitions,I Pay Taxes So You Have To Do Anything I Say,Racism,Reject Rednesday,Rejected Petitions,Xenophobia,spelin an grammer — Tags: Allan Howard, Jessica Wilson of Citizen, marc mcfarlane of hgv driver, Mr McCormick —
Ready for a smattering of rejected petitions on the submit of racism, xenophobia, and general douchebaggery? No? Well tough, because they’re here.
by Jessica Wilson of Citizen (rejected)I would like a Law passed to enable this to happen, i am fed up of ethnic races moving to Britain and expecting us to conform to their religion, education etc, if they cant abide by they way we live and our Laws, send them back to where they originally came from.
More after the jump. (more…)
Posted by Ben @ October 5th, 2009 7:49 pm. Filed under: "Making Britain Great Again",I Have A Sense Of Perspective: Problems That Are Far Away Appear Small To Me.,Oh Yeah? Let's See You Write A Better Petition!,Racism,What A Dick,Xenophobia,spelin an grammer — Tags: Mr Ben Gransden —
Oh, this old chestnut:
by Mr Ben GransdenOur country formerly “Great Britian” is seriously in the red, to much money is going abroad to other countries. Britian in the world today is hated, so why are we creating hardship for our own by giving away money to people that don’t even like us!
Oh Ben, you spluttering testicular pustule. I feel ashamed to share even the same name as you.
Posted by Ben @ September 14th, 2009 9:01 pm. Filed under: I Could've Looked This Up But Instead I Watched Countdown,Lies Damn Lies And Nonsense Statistics,Racism,There Their In They're House,Work Around My Delusions Dammit!,Xenophobia — Tags: D Prince —
Stop this notion that there is a British population explosion and we need to built on the Nations precious Green Belts, we all know that the increase in births is almost entirely due to the Governments blatantly uncontrolled immigration policy that lets all types of people in to our country from nations to whom we have on allegiance or duty (unlike the Gurkha who has every right to settle here) If we are to be forced without a vote into the EU then at least adopt there immigration policy, there are not hoards of people storming the doors of Germany or France. Listen to the people just for once
Yet another petitioner who believes the root of all the nation’s problems is immigration. Why don’t you people just start posting honest petitions? If you don’t like foreigners, just say “I don’t like foreigners, and I want them removed from My Country, God Bless The United Kingdom”? Stop tip-toeing around your racist, xenophobic fuckwaddery and actually say what you mean. No one will think any differently of you – they already think you’re a toe-gnawing hobgoblin with the social grace of a testicular polyp.
My favourite part of this petition? The URL. It’s delicious, like a juicy orange.
Posted by Ben @ July 29th, 2009 7:25 pm. Filed under: George Orwell Had The Right Idea,I Pay Taxes So You Have To Do Anything I Say,Racism,We Don't Take Kindly To Your Type Rahnd These Pahts,We're British, Dammit!,What A Dick,Xenophobia — Tags: Joanne Lawrence —
When Immigration/Police officers find illigal immigrants/assylum seekers they should be micro chiped. At present while they are being investigated they are freed from custody and requested to report to a particular police station on a regular basis. They never do. This way the system can keep better records on how many we have in our country at any given time and know where they are if/when deportation is required.
And remember to spay or neuter your illegal immigrants.