by Zara Gordon
From adverts such as "We Buy Any Car" to "Tool Workshop" me and many others I know feel that the songs that constantly burst onto our televisions many times a day disruptive and extremely aggravating.
I feel the same way about Hollyoaks.
And it’s Tool Station.
by paul woodburn
I have been trying to find a job in IT (Information technology) for over a year.
I cannot drive and I cannot afford to learn to drive because I don’t have a job.
There for I cannot travel outside Manchester to work.
IT needs to be big in Manchester. After all this is where Alan Turing made his famous computers.
Or you could get a job in a different field, save up your pennies, and then move to an area with more IT jobs when you can afford it. I mean, y’know, it’s not the government’s fault you live in bloody Manchester of all places.
Sometimes it’s entirely possible to see the point that ePetitioners are trying to make, but they make things so much worse for themselves by trying to rationalise things. I’m sure it’s all perfectly logical to them, but it just ends up making them look silly.
Case in point:
by Mr Aaron Asphar
They say shoplifting is a crime; yet Asda alone send over 75,000 tonnes of food a year to landfile, because it is more profitable to over-order and dump the surpless then to run out of stock when sales exceed expectations. This is a crime on an industrial scale. Supermarkets should be made to offer their food to charities and customers for free 6 hours before the sell by date. They should also pay a substantial levy by the tonne for landfil. The environmental and social benefits would be vast.
Y’know, you’re right – shoplifting and disposing of out-of-date, surplus stock are comparable crimes.
by Ian Murray
we are a multi country trading planet, yet dvd’s and games are not. In this day and age getting a dvd or game from the U.S. should mean we can watch or play it in the U.K. without restrictions
Region-free DVD and Bluray players are becoming more common and more affordable, while the games console market has slowly been shifting towards region-free consoles for some time. The PlayStation 3 doesn’t have any region-encoding on PS3 titles, and the only reason that the Xbox 360 didn’t have region-encoding is because at the time the console launched Japan didn’t have their own equivalent to PEGI or the ESRB.
So, y’know.
by Mrs Carolanne Eddy of Loghenge
A memorial day for all to remember and celebrate pets they have loved and lost. In rememberance of the Whisper dog who died on this day and is truly missed by many around the globe for numerous reasons.
by Ms Erica Lewis
Owners of these sites are vulnerable to hackers and impersonators. It should be made harder to set up a site and more security checks should be made to protect the identitiy and credibility of users.
Certainly.
It’s Wednesday, and that means it’s time to pick at the Reject Bin and see what the British Government had too much common sense to allow the public to sign.
by Jonathan Hall (rejected)
This elite ninja force (which should be named NINJA: National Interest Ninja Japanese-y Awesomeness) would take on most of the killing people-type jobs the armed forces have to do so they could concentrate on shouting at people.
I believe this would greatly reduce the government’s spending on defence, thus freeing up more money for education and health.
Brilliant.
Read the rest of this entry »
by Ryan Brucass
Legally you are not an adult until you are 18. So under 18s shouldn’t have to pay adult prices. Therefore we want it made illegal for anyone under the age of 18 to be charged an adult rate for entry to attractions, football matchs, cinemas etc.
Surely it’s easier to ask your parents for more pocket money than it is to ask the Prime Minister to make things a bit cheaper for people in your age bracket.
by Jayesh Kanbi
The uk domain name is of the format “.co.uk” however “.uk” is available but not used. Using the “.uk” format would shorten and simplify typing in uk domain names, as well as reducing ink in printed stationery, and reducing the amount of letters needed to be typed into a web browser thereby reducing RSI. By being shorter and simpler it would look a lot more professional and appealing to international business’
I’m sure he’ll get right on that.
by Mr. Michael Penelope Williams of Reddish Vale Technology College
Vandalism is on the increase in schools, and we believe that something should be done about it. Do you think the government is doing enough?
Well short of having police officers standing by every single desk, wall and otherwise blank surface in every college, university, school and nursery across the UK, what exactly is it you would like the Government to do? You can’t just make blanket statements like “Stop this thing that we can probably all agree is pretty much not on but is, let’s not kid ourselves, pretty damned difficult to curtail” and expect that to fix everything.
And he’s a teacher, too. My word. What’s wrong with him? I wonder if he went into College the next day and told his students, “Right, well, I hope you’ve enjoyed writing on my desks and tippexing rude words onto my classroom walls, because last night I sent a message to Prime Minister of Parliament Gordon Brown and I expect he’ll be doing something about it any day now. So watch it
by Marc Roberts
Advertising campaigns to stop younger people taking up smoking do not seem to be working. Instead of throwing more money at various compaigns, increase the minimum age for buying cigarettes by one year every year. This way people who cannot legally buy cigarettes will never be able to and those who will not give up can happily continue to buy them.
This problem has a number of logistical problems. For instance, what if the age is raised on January 1st of every year, and someone has a birthday in the middle of the year that brings them to the minimum legal age? That means for six months of the year it’s perfectly legal for this person to buy cigarettes, and for the other six it’s not. That’s just stupid.
Secondly, people who want to smoke will get their cigarettes one way or another.
by David Varney of Lincs Prime Fresh
These zones are an infringement of the rights of honest people to earn a living by contacting consumers in their homes. These zones are an over reaction to the minute, but tragic, incidence of “doorstep” crime. The agencies involved, Trading Standards, Local Authority, Police, should spend their time catching the perpetrators of this crime not stopping honest people from providing a service to local communities. Once again this is an example of this governments inability to cure the disease and taking the lazy option of treating the symptons to the detriment of innocent people.
What about the right to sit in your home with a cup of tea watching Countdown without having it interrupted by some git trying to sell you a set of steak knives, or a vacuum cleaner, or something? You’re not providing a service, you’re trying to sell something. If I need a set of all-purpose cleaning products I’ll bloody well pop down to Wilkinsons and buy some as and when the time arises, thankyouverymuch.
I don’t see you complaining about the Telephone Preference Service, or the Mailing Preference Service.
by Mrs Marina Creffield
i am voicing my concerns with you regarding children’s safety online. i am concerned about how easy it is for children to sign upto dating websites and porn sites alot of these you dont need proof of age ie; a credit card or some other form of id. i am writing to you because my 14 yr old daughter did just that along with thousands of other children under 18 yrs old. when my daughter signed up to some dating sites she was at the local library and set up a profile and put she was 18 yrs old and got an account with no need for proof of age. i want to protect not just my own children but thousands of others too. people/parents wonder why so many children go missing week after week because its sites like these. who knows who these children are chatting to. lets put a stop to this now.
by Andy Price
With the explosion of t’internet, forums & bulletin boards, where people can virtually meet to discuss topics and preach their mantra’s have sprung up.
They cater for various groups. Some profess to be “family friendly” and as such I think need to make every effort to live up to such high ideals rather than merely pay lip service to it.
So, I would like to ask for your signature to create a law or government guidelines which can be enforce upon such sites to make sure ALL that appears on them is indeed “family friendly”.
I keep forgetting that Gordon Brown is King of the entirety of the Internet. Or “t’internet”.
by Mark Schueler
The Imperial system evolved over time and its units and subunits are often based on real things. The metric system was created artifically and the units are often inappropriate for daily use.
As attempts to implement metric have always met with resistance, surely the best thing to do is take a step forwards and abolish metric.
Except… isn’t it technically a step backwards?
by Adam Rhys Davies
A memorial to remember those victims from the 4 countries of the United Kingdom (Wales, England, Scotland and Northern Ireland) that lost their lives in the horrific 9/11 attacks on the United States of America!
Really? Really?
by Mr Michael Dray
NHS staff should be given incentives to highlight waste however large or small and action taken to eliminate that waste. Incentives could be in the form of points that would be redeemable against gifts in a catalogue.
That’s it! A gift catalogue! Because, y’know, it’s not like it’s their fucking job to ensure that hospitals are a healthy, sterile environment!
Also, can we stop calling an active attempt to reduce or stop a negative activity a War on Things? It’s getting kind of stale.
by Diane Rhodes
Dogs have to be on leads in public and I think children, who are generally less well behaved are allowed to run free being both a nuisance and a danger to both themselves and to others, so I am petitioning for a law that all children four and under are put on reins while out in public. Reins have been used to control children for decades keeping them out of danger. Having once again nearly been tripped up by a toddler running free which could have caused an injury both to myself and the child in question I think it is time that parents are made to put their children on reins to prevent accidents. Reins are cheap and easily available so there is no excuse for them not to do this.
Except that, y’know, you’d have to be a dick to force parents to keep their sprogs on a leash.
The ePetitions website hasn’t had any new petitions for some time. The Rejected pile has been growing and growing, and indeed that’s where we’ve been drawing from as a source this past fortnight, but there’s been nothing new and approved for a while now.
Until this morning, that is, when we were given this:
by Graham L Banes; John Richards of Apostrophe Protection Society, UK
In January 2009, Birmingham City Council opted to permanently ban the apostrophe from the city’s road signs. We believe the apostrophe to be a key component of the English language that is crucial to understanding: in the case of “St Paul’s Square”, it denotes possession. We do not believe it is within a city council’s power to make such broad changes to our national language and we consider it tremendously insulting that Birmingham be littered with examples of incorrect English.
We accept that it would not be cost-effective to restore apostrophes to signs that lack them. Nonetheless, we ask the government to introduce a policy enforcing apostrophe use in new or replacement road signs, applying not only to Birmingham City Council but to all councils nationwide. Not only will this prevent them from wasting valuable time debating the issue, it will ensure that the apostrophe is used correctly by councils across the UK.
Really? Really? How did this guy slip through the net? I’m less amazed that the petition exists – looking at ridiculous petitions is, of course, what we’re here for – but I am amazed that this petition got approved while the clearly quite brilliant tartan cat collar petition gets passed over.
What would we do without the increasingly mad Keith Jones, eh? I have no idea what he looks like, but I imagine a curmudgeonly old man, maybe with a ridiculously ornate moustache. His hair is thinning. The only footwear he’s worn for the last twelve years are a pair of tartan slippers his grandchildren bought him one Christmas partially as a joke. He has only the vaguest of ideas how the real world works and he thinks he’s figured out how to solve all of its problems.
And it’s through brilliant ideas like these.
by keith jones of taxpaying pensioner without political affiliation (rejected)
What these people are allowed to do is not ‘get married’. What they do is covered by a civil agreement and it should be illegal to use the term ‘marriage’ to describe the condition.
Let’s make it illegal to use a word that means a thing it means. There’s no way that can lead down a dangerous path at all.
by keith jones of taxpaying pensioner without political affiliation (rejected)
Failure to support the indigenous population on this point will SURELY put the final nail in the coffin of Gordon Brown and his scottish cronies on the cabinet.
I actually think this petition would have been approved were he not such a cocky gobshite in the descriptive text. Not to say I support the petition, but Keith has a wonderful way of just being hilariously self-righteous that means that most of his petitions get rejected. I bet he thinks he’s Make A Stand, too. Tch.
I shudder to think what would happen if Keith Jones ever found this website. I imagine that the sky would crack asunder. Or something.
by Christoher Savage
i am sickened this practice is continuing in china korea and the philippines amongst others. switzerland also allows eating of dog meat. publicized first in the 80s articles showed dogs with sharp food tins forced onto their muzzles, front legs dislocated, tied behind their backs, killed as slowly as possible, in the belief this improved the flavour of the meat. dogs were thrown live into boiling couldrons of water. a story i read concerned a chow being hung and dying over half an hour, witnessed by a journalist in the philippines the papers led a campaign over several weeks asking people to campaign and sign petitions to embassies of the offending countries. this i did telling them that though not all countries saw dogs as we in the UK do only if death was necessary for food for pity sake kill them humaneley!! fur from these animals is finding its way onto garments you may have. i am angry and sickened that it is still going on and in some places increasing. there is enough information on the net to look at.it is stomach churning. Please please please for pity sake sign this petition and campaign. put an end to the barbarity inflicted on these defenceless and trusting friends of ours. TY
And yet battery chickens don’t seem to bother Christoher at all. Probably because chickens don’t have cute faces and waggly tails.
by Jacqueline Harrison
We are asking Gordon Brown and the British Government to abstain from eating meat at least one day a week to make a positive impact on the health of not only themselves but also the planet. The world’s leading authority on global warming Dr Rajendra Pachauri says that people should have one meat-free day a week if they want to make a personal and effective sacrifice to help tackle climate change before going on to reduce their meat consumption even further. UN data shows that meat production and consumption are to blame for 18% of greenhouse gases – more than cars. Imagine how much CO2 could be saved if the British public – led by the government – committed to reducing the amount of meat they eat. We want the British government to become pioneers in the fight against obesity and global warming by eating more vegetables to help to save the planet.
Well he can ask, but I’m jolly sure I know what the answer will be.
by Farhad Navkhoda
The day of Sunday should be returned back to the family, friends, community and the nation as a day of leisure and rest. It will bring about a social and economic revolution to Britain, which we so need at this moment, to build stronger relationships and social cohesion.
We need that one day to recover, chill out, recharge and spend time with those that are important to us.
We don’t strive and toil to work again on the Sunday. We work to have a better quality of life. Give us some time off to enjoy ourselves. Make the big corporation give us back our Sunday. The day we call our own!
We’d love to pop it back in the mail for you but unfortunately you forgot to enclose a stamped addressed envelope.
I never understood the notion of Sunday as a “sacred day”. Since moving to the US I’ve discovered that it’s possible for a shop to be open late into the night, and also at reasonable hours on a Sunday instead of, say, between 11:00am and 11:14am, but only if you’re wearing a purple jumper and can recite your full name backwards.
by Simon Hutton (rejected)
When a batsman is caught out during a limited overs cricket match, the ECB and Counties insist on playing ‘Howzat’ by the band Sherbet over the sound system in the belief that it is hilariously funny as it contains the line ‘you messed around, I caught you out’. On the contrary, it’s unbelievebly annoying and not even mildly amusing.
by Mr Daniel Allen Thompson of n/a (rejected)
Dear Prime Minister,
I am writing to you to ask you to dissolve both the ‘Barclays’ Premier League and the ‘Coca-Cola’ Football League, and create one sole league for the entire Country. English football is the biggest game in the country, although, the ‘Barclays’ Premier League will eventually ruin this country and the game as we know it.
Each year hundreds of millions of pounds is given to football clubs in the ‘Barclays’ Premier League, while football clubs in the ‘Coca-Cola’ Football League are lucky if they get 10% of this.
As a result of this unfair distribution of finances, it makes it impossible for small ‘Coca-Cola’ Football League clubs to complete. This usually results in clubs going bust, as we have seen so often over the past few seasons.
I feel that the dissolution of both of these leagues and the creation of a brand new league, for the whole of the United Kingdom will save a lot of football clubs along the way.
But… wouldn’t that make a football season last two years, and involve a lot of tedious pointlessness while Chelsea’s U16 team tore a new arsehole into Gravesend and Northfleet?
by KEELEY BIRD of NONE (rejected)
ISLAM IS A RELIJION NOT A JOKE WE WANT EASTENDERS TO STOP THE GAY STORY LINE BEFOR IT IS ON AIR
Okay, but ‘Keeley Bird’ is not a particularly Islamic sounding name to me.
by James collins of Worm aid
to help stag beetle numbers increase and to make people realise killing mini beasts for fun is mean and wrong. It is important to look after our environment and the creatures within it.
“Alright,” said Gordon, his hands cupped around a small insect. “I’ve saved a stag beetle. My work here is done.” Satisfied with a job well done, he leaves the insect sanctuary to take the beetle to a different insect sanctuary, trampling many small bugs on his way out.