Posted by Ben @ August 24th, 2010 7:19 pm. Filed under: Are You Kidding? We Can't Afford That!,Please State The Nature of the Medical Emergency,These Kids Today With Their Modern Haircuts And Hippetty-Hop Music,What A Dick — Tags: elliott —
Sometimes, people hate. Sometimes, people hate other people. And sometimes, people hate other people they’ve never met on rather nebulous ground for reasons that, in the grand scheme of things, don’t actually make any bloody sense.
Let’s look at such a person:
Isn’t it about time that those among us who wish to perpetuate the species, pay for their upkeep.In a modern society it is unthinkable that those tax payers who do not have children, (for whatever reason), should be asked to pay towards their maintenance.
If you can’t afford to support them – don’t have them!
One would not ask a neighbour to help pay towards ones mortgage or the car service, or even towards maintenance of ones wife – so why their children?
The idea of paying people to replicate is outdated – unless of course the government are anticipating another world war.
Why the contribution is important
The amount of tax payers money expended children, whether as benefit or free milk etc should be shouldered by those who want them.
If you’re poor and you can’t afford kids, don’t have them! And if you can’t afford birth control, simply stop giving in to that primal, carnal instinct! Those urges, those deep urges, the temptation of the flesh, the curve of the breast, soft skin of the inner thigh… Mmmm. No. Stop it. Great, now I have twins.
Posted by Ben @ August 12th, 2010 4:44 pm. Filed under: Are You Kidding? We Can't Afford That!,Everyone Stop What You're Doing Because You're Mildly Inconveniencing Me,I AM TALKING!,Please State The Nature of the Medical Emergency,These Kids Today With Their Modern Haircuts And Hippetty-Hop Music,Unreasonable Demands,What A Dick — Tags: corsalover2 —
STATUTORY MATERNITY PAY is now payable for longer than the period of pregnancy. Although employers are entitled to recover SMP, they still have the burden of paying it each week or month and then recovering it later.Eventually it is the taxpayer who is funding this ridiculous benefit. We managed with shorted periods of SMP for many years and in the light of the present economic situation, the duration this benefit should be restored to pre-1997 levels – i.e. 18 weeks.
STAUTORY PATERNITY PAY should be abolished. Employees receive 5.6 weeks paid holiday already and it does not seem unreasonable to suggest that they take 2 weeks of their holiday when their child is born. At present, the taxpayer funds £250 for a fortnight’s extra leave.
HOLIDAY PAY ENTITLEMENT should not accrue during periods of Stautory Maternity Pay. At present, a woman drawing 12 months of SMP is also racking up 5.6 weeks-worth of Holiday Entitlement which is payable by and not recoverable by the employer.
Or, “Women having babies get paid too much, and men shouldn’t get paid just because their women have babies.” Wow, corsalover. You’s a dick.
Posted by Ben @ July 14th, 2010 9:18 pm. Filed under: "Making Britain Great Again",A Rose By Any Other Name Would Be Less Funny,Are You Kidding? We Can't Afford That!,Only joking!,Please State The Nature of the Medical Emergency,Stop Spending My Money On Things I Don't Understand.,What A Dick,Won't Somebody Please Think Of The Children? —
I’m fairly confident this one is a joke petition but here it is anyway, presented without comment:
Like the title suggests. Just don’t pay anything for a year. On anything. Public spending for the fiscal year 2008–09 was £618.6 billion. Stop spending it. Yes, it’ll hurt in the short term (for about a year) but then the United Kingdom will emerge as an economic powerhouse, ready to weather any financial storm in the future.How the idea could be implemented
Make all public sector workers redundant and hire them back a year later when they’re despearate for work at a reduced rate. Obviously, we’ll have to make do with houses remaining on fire if ignited (which should help to keep the elderly warm in the winter and help stimulate the housing construction industry).Cancel all NHS operations and reschedule a year later (would anyone actually notice given the waiting lists? It will also give doctors a chance to read up on how to run hospitals now that they have to do that as well as keep people alive).
Give every child a gap year. Before, such a luxury was only ever afforded to the children of middle/upper class people as they went off to find themselves (or relive a scene from The Beach).
Keep all prisoners locked up in their luxury appartments. The one remaining at the end of the year will be awarded a pardon and a games console. (A small price to pay for keeping the prison population down). It’d be a return to good old fasioned values of survival.
All people on benefits to have housing benefit stopped. They’ll loose their homes, thus creating more affordable housing for the returning public sector workers next year, and what doesn’t kill them will make them stronger (although it will most certainly result in death for most of them).
Stop taking away people’s rubbish. If no one removes it, then there’s no one there to fine you if your bin’s a little full. That’ll be an easy sell to a lot of people that view this as a life-or-death matter.
This isn’t going to be popular for everyone, but with a bit of grit, determination and a lot of personal wealth, we’ll pull through this as one. It may even foster the ‘Blitz’ spirit that helped define us as a nation all those years ago.
Posted by Ben @ July 14th, 2010 8:58 pm. Filed under: Abolish This!,Anything I Want Is A Human Right,Batshit Mental Rants,Clearly You've Thought This Through,Don't Worry About What THEY Want,Duplicate Petitions,Hanging's Too Good For 'Em!,Is Research The Same Thing As Making Shit Up? Good.,Please State The Nature of the Medical Emergency,Sexism,Stand Back! I'm Going To Try SCIENCE!,Stop Spending My Money On Things I Don't Understand.,Unreasonable Demands,What A Dick,Won't Somebody Please Think Of The Children?,You Know - We Haven't Banned Anything Lately. — Tags: AndyCC, ngreer —
Abortion. Touchy subject. Touchy enough for at least two petitions on YourFreedom.
Someone decides to have sex, they should live with the concequences. Abortion should be banned for all social economic reasons.Life is a sacred thing, whether you believe it is from God or not, people these days think that you just pop-out of the womb on the day you are born, but it starts before that within the womb.
If people disagree with banning Abortion for social economic reasons, could they please explain why it is differnt to killing a 5 year old because they are not an Adult yet?
Abortion is just legalised mass murder, wrapped up to make everyone feel good about it.
Why the contribution is important
Why should an innocent unborn child be murdered simply because of a “bad” choice to have sex?Why should the taxpayer pay for this? And for the clumsy decisions of others not to use protection?
Why the contribution is important
The right to life is a fundamental human right. The unborn are human. At the moment of conception they become, by any reasonable definition, human. They are genetically members of the species homo sapiens, and between that moment and birth, there is no clear dividing line when a change occurs. If there is no clear dividing line, then no change occurs (if it is illegal to kill at some precise moment and not before, that must be because a significant change occurs at that moment).It follows that to kill the unborn is murder, and the clear denial of that unborn child’s right to life. We will not execute murderers and rapists because of this principle, but we will inflict a particularly brutal killing on defenceless, innocent children. This is unnacceptable in any society that aspires to be civilised.
let’s ignore all of the bollocks pseudo-science and half-arsed presumptions in these petitions and jump to the crux of the matter: making abortion illegal.
What about where protection is used? What about rape? What about incest rape? What about instances where the baby won’t survive childbirth? What about instances where the mother won’t survive childbirth? What about where the baby will be born without a brain? Or, rather simply, what if the woman simply isn’t ready to be a mother? It’s her body, her choice, and she shouldn’t be forced into motherhood against her will, be it because she was attacked in the park or because she just doesn’t want to have kids.
Even taking all of these variables out of the picture, making abortion illegal isn’t going to help. The women that want abortions are still going to find ways of getting them, being it going abroad to somewhere else in Europe where it’s still legal. Or, if that’s not an option, they’ll seek out a “back alley abortion” where statistics show they will, in fact, wind up dead.
So, long story short, it seems AndyCC and ngreer hate women, they don’t think a woman is entitled to ownership of her own uterus.
Posted by Ben @ April 9th, 2010 6:37 am. Filed under: Hug A Granny,Not Sure If Serious,Please State The Nature of the Medical Emergency,Rejected Petitions,What A Dick — Tags: Mr D Morris —
by Mr D Morris (rejected)This policy would increase taxation so cutting the deficit, solve the problem of the aging society, reduce the state pension black hole, and enable private pension companies to increase their pensions due to the shortening of life expectancy, while protecting jobs in the tobacco industry.
Posted by Ben @ March 8th, 2010 9:41 pm. Filed under: Everyone Stop What You're Doing Because You're Mildly Inconveniencing Me,Please State The Nature of the Medical Emergency,spelin an grammer,That's SO UNFAIR! I HATE YOU!,What a Baby,Won't Somebody Please Think Of The Children? — Tags: gemma —
by gemmasepearate scanning areas in the hospital for women who have misscarried, its seems like a sick joke when you have lost your baby to be sent to sit in the maternity block for your scan to confirm the worst! to have to sit in a room full of pregnant women talking about how many weeks/months pregnant they are and weather its a boy/girl even tho you are happy for them it still kills you listening to it and thinking about your baby your never going to meet its terrible! surely women in my situation have felt the same and being in a different part of the hospital would help slightly!
Posted by Ben @ February 23rd, 2010 6:00 pm. Filed under: I AM TALKING!,Oh Yeah? Let's See You Write A Better Petition!,Please State The Nature of the Medical Emergency,spelin an grammer — Tags: SHEILA of OURLOVEDONESTOOKTHEIROWNLIVES —
And now, a suggestion that, if implemented, cannot under any circumstances be abused:
by SHEILA of OURLOVEDONESTOOKTHEIROWNLIVESPlease make sure that with regard to Mental Health services the parents/ next of kin or loved ones that know the patient should always be listened to and referred to. If a parent or loved one feels that their child needs to be sectioned under the mental health act then they must be listened to..they know the child better than anyone. If they are not listened to then they should be given a very good reason why and the professionals should accept the responsibility of events that could occcur by way of ignoring the request
“Oh yes, my mother is definitely unhinged. Can you put her somewhere else? We’re planning on converting her room into an office, you see.”
Posted by Ben @ February 15th, 2010 9:20 pm. Filed under: Nanny Knows Best,Please State The Nature of the Medical Emergency,Won't Somebody Please Think Of The Children? — Tags: Miss Laura Hole —
by Miss Laura HoleBreastfeeding has always, and will always be the best way to feed a baby. If Infant Formula Milk is only available on prescription, it will mean that a mother will have to physically talk to her doctor about any issues (including physical, emotional and mental)she has with breastfeeding. This will mean that the incidence of breastfeeding will increase and the level of support that women have with their breastfeeding will also increase. It will also mean that there will be fewer illnesses in babies and young children, costing the NHS millions less in resources, and leading to a generally healthier population.
Breastfeeding may be the best way to feed a baby, but I reckon there’s something very wrong about asking the government to revoke the parents’ right to choose how to feed their baby.
Posted by Ben @ January 20th, 2010 8:26 pm. Filed under: Please State The Nature of the Medical Emergency,spelin an grammer,Unenforceable Laws — Tags: mrs.adele rose —
by mrs.adele rosemany people abhor the sight of spitting in the street. there are anti-littering laws but no mention from the government of health department of the sight and/or health hazards of this vile habit.
This is one of those ideas that, on the surface of it, seems reasonable up until the point where you realise that it’s entirely unenforceable.
Posted by Ben @ January 18th, 2010 11:44 pm. Filed under: Clearly You've Thought This Through,I Am A Brain!,I Could've Looked This Up But Instead I Watched Countdown,Invading The Animal Kingdom,Please State The Nature of the Medical Emergency,spelin an grammer — Tags: Rebecca Stephen —
by Rebecca StephenWe believe animal testing should be banned as animals are comletely different from humans therefore making it pointless to test on animals if they have different reactions.
Yeah! I mean, it’s not like animal testing has ever resulted in serious medical breakthroughs or advancement in medical technologies! People aren’t rats. People are people. Duh.
Posted by Ben @ January 12th, 2010 7:18 am. Filed under: Please State The Nature of the Medical Emergency,You Know - We Haven't Banned Anything Lately. — Tags: Mrs LindsayMcFadyen —
by Mrs LindsayMcFadyenWe want these powders/capsules that cause sleep deprivation, circulatory problems, anxiety, and palpatations banned or at the very least heavily taxed before they kill someone
Everything will kill if you if you wait long enough.
Posted by Ben @ January 6th, 2010 9:04 pm. Filed under: I'm serious!,Oh Yeah? Let's See You Write A Better Petition!,Please State The Nature of the Medical Emergency,Stop Spending My Money On Things I Don't Understand.,This Is What We're Outraged At This Week — Tags: Robin Carvell —
by Robin CarvellThis petition is an effort to block the nationwide implementation of full body scanners that represent a total violation of privacy, a health risk, and tyranny. Forcing people to pose for naked photos is a crime. If the government does this it will be a criminal government. If the body scanners are allowed to be implemented travelers will be forced to do worse things under the threat of being treated as a terrorist if they refuse the violation of their dignity and freedom. Professors of Molecular and Cell Biology maintain that there is no safe dose of ionizing radiation. In addition to these issues, full body scanners would not even have stopped the Christmas Day bomber from boarding Flight 253, according to a British MP who helped design the machines. “I must advise the Prime Minister – and the British public – that the scanners are not a “silver bullet,” said Ben Wallace, who worked on the scanners at defense research organization QinetiQ. “You would be mistaken to think that they would counter the new threat.”
There are a number of good reasons to be against the Body Scanners being installed at airports – and one or two of them even make it into this petition – but it amuses me that Robin seems to believe that airport passengers will have to “pose for naked photos”, as though this were a nude photo shoot of some sort.
