Posted by Ben @ November 4th, 2009 12:24 pm. Filed under: Can't someone else pay the tax?,I Am A Brain!,I AM TALKING!,I Petition The Government To Your Name Here,Not actual justice -- just what I wanted. Which is basically the same thing.,Nothing Should Ever Change!,Only joking!,Please State The Nature of the Medical Emergency,Reject Rednesday,Rejected Petitions,Thank You For Coming -- It's Been Very Useful,The Nasty Television Upset Me!,What A Load Of Bankers — Tags: Anthony Franks OBE of The Franks Family, Christian Dwyer, Colin Andrew Brown, JANET, Jim Hackett of none, mr iain musgrove, Paul Nosprout of Nosprouts, Richard McManus —
That’s right folks, it’s time for another slice of general ignorance!
by Christian Dwyer (rejected)
I think it is unjust and unfair that we have no choice but to pay a television licence to the BBC but they only produce 4 episodes of the massively popular soap ‘EastEnders’ per week. This is probably the second most popular BBC broadcasting after the news. It is almost unanimous national opinion that there should be a new episode aired on Wednesdays, Saturdays and Sundays, where there currently is not.
Unjustified self-entitlement – it’s what Britain does best. (more…)
Posted by Ben @ August 23rd, 2009 7:36 pm. Filed under: Exclamation marks!!!!,I AM TALKING!,I Pay Taxes So You Have To Do Anything I Say,It Says So In The Daily Mail,Not actual justice -- just what I wanted. Which is basically the same thing.,Really REALLY Bad Ideas,Thinking Things Through Is Just Not British,This Is What We're Outraged At This Week,What A Dick,Won't Somebody Please Think Of The Children?,Young, Dumb, And Online — Tags: Anita Foss, Baby P, Facebook, Katie Betambeau, Stuart Bizley —
The barbarous nature of Britain’s public becomes fully apparent when you look at this petition which, in a break from our usual source, is currently up on Facebook’s “Causes” application.
Stop the evil bastards getting a new identity when they leave jail they should suffer just like baby peter did!
Human Services, Public Safety Disaster Preparedness and Relief
This is a petition to stop evil steven barker and tracey connelly from getting new identity’s when they leave prison. They should suffer just like poor baby peter did.
I honestly don’t understand how peoples’ brains work most of the time. What do they think this new identity is for exactly? Do they think it’s a reward? A prize of some kind for their horrid crime? There’s no doubt in anyone’s mind that what they did to their child was horrific but what the public would do to them is even worse. They’re being given new identities to protect them from the sort of people who post comments like this:
Lets hope the lot of them don’t come out alive. Lets hope they get tortured to death – scum. We shouldn’t even waste tax payers money on them. Instead of testing on animals – lets use these type of people instead – at least it will be a little justice if nothing else.
send em to texas and let have a leathal injection sick cunts what they did was just sooooooooooooo soooooooooooo wrong makes u think how they were brought up sick sick sick sick cruel arseholes they deserve to die cos when they come out they will do it again if i see em i will kill them myselfffffffffffff
But perhaps my favourite comment on this petition is this one, which is a real spEak You’re bRanes worthy comment if I’ve ever seen one:
As everybody knows this government is a load of codswollop.. troublesome youths who vandalise things get let off..no one will learn,this is just a small problem that we, as a society face. This prime example of Baby Peter is truely horrifying, the more Judges we have which are leinient will mean more criminals get let off with only a slap on the wrist. Government needs to STOP giving out our taxpayers money to illegal immigrants and to put money back inot funding facilities for severe punishments- as logn as people know they will get away with these such things it will get worse.
Gordon brown and every other primeminister we have had are total twatfaces..surely one of them atleast ONE OF THEM should have realised what this country is becoming..
A LIFE FOR A LIFE, The murderers should be beaten to death by member of public like the “Olden Days”, people would think twice about commiting a crime!
The evil, lowlife bastards!
Aren’t people great?
Posted by Ben @ August 11th, 2009 1:04 am. Filed under: Not actual justice -- just what I wanted. Which is basically the same thing.,Wait a minute... this isn't a petition! — Tags: Baby P —
The identities of Baby P’s killers were released to the public on Monday along with the news that, given the notoriety of the crime, they will likely be given new identities upon their release from prison when they are released from prison. Obviously this news is going to make the more imbicilic of Britain’s public scree with rage like some kind of stupid banshee, so I imagine we’ll get to read some very interesting petitions over the next two or three weeks.
You have been warned.
Posted by Ben @ August 3rd, 2009 10:11 pm. Filed under: Is Research The Same Thing As Making Shit Up? Good.,Lord Knows I Ask Not For Myself,Not actual justice -- just what I wanted. Which is basically the same thing.,spelin an grammer — Tags: miss paula mckay —
the reason for my petition is because on the 11th july 2009 i gave birth to a baby girl faith and because i was 23 weeks pregnant and 6 days i was told that i had a miscarriage and not a still birth. My daughter never got to breathe outside my womb but she had breathed inside for 23 weeks and 6 days, she weighed 1 pound 3 ounces and 3 quarters and was 30cm long. She was perfect in every way and i didnt know that this law existed until she was born. I would like to say how very disgusted i am and shocked that you could even put my daughter into this category. I know babies who have been born before 24 weeks and survived so its a disgrace that this law even exists. I will do everything in my power to get justice for my beautifull baby faith
This petition is not for the People. It’s a selfish petition by and for an individual who has suffered a loss and isn’t coping well with it. So I’m not going to laugh at her, and I’m not going to make fun of her. But I will say this: Accept it and move on. You’ve lost something special, and that’s going to stay with you for a while. But is this going to help? Really? Even if this rather silly request were accepted and the law changed, what then? What actually happens then? Nothing. Nothing changes. You’ve still lost a daughter, a child you never even knew.
Posted by Ben @ July 7th, 2009 7:57 pm. Filed under: Gibberish,Not actual justice -- just what I wanted. Which is basically the same thing.,spelin an grammer — Tags: Julie Shrive of miscarriage of justice sufferer —
Does this mean they have something to hide as in my experience it does . Could the fact they waste time addressing process away of neglecting serious urgent issues and concerns.
Posted by Ben @ June 9th, 2009 8:08 pm. Filed under: Anything I Want Should Be Free,Lord Knows I Ask Not For Myself,Not actual justice -- just what I wanted. Which is basically the same thing. — Tags: Claire Ludlow —
This petition seeks to protest against giant mobile phone companies who unjustly charge customers for aspects which should be inclusive of the services the customers already pay for. We propose:
The abolishment of roaming charges and costly international usage.
A severe reduction in costly Wap and mobile internet charges.
No additional fee for paying a bill by any method exclusive of direct debit.
The regulation of contract prices so that they are not dependent on the duration of the contract ( for example no charging certain customers more because they choose a sorter, 18 month over a 2 year contract).
If anybody reading this petition feels there are more issues to add to the above list please mention so!
Maybe it’s just me, but I don’t see anything particularly unjust about these charges.
Posted by Ben @ June 9th, 2009 8:01 pm. Filed under: Not actual justice -- just what I wanted. Which is basically the same thing. — Tags: helen oneill —
i want to stop family members being deported from the uk. it is not fair on the people involved and how much it acctually affects our lives. iam a britsh citizen and my partner is nigerian and has been sent back to nigeria as he wasnt legally living here, despite that he has to leave me and a child behind?? that is cruel and unfair and it has been devestating its not something i can explain in words but imagine how you would feel if one of your family memebers were taken away from you witout any assurance that you will ever be reunited??? why should i not be given the chance to have my say as iam a britsh citizen and iam being punished this is really not fair and i want to take it futher.
Maybe, maybe, he shouldn’t have been in the country illegally in the first place. Just something to think about.
Posted by Ben @ June 9th, 2009 9:16 am. Filed under: It Says So In The Daily Mail,Not actual justice -- just what I wanted. Which is basically the same thing.,Really REALLY Bad Ideas,Unworkable Ideas,Won't Somebody Please Think Of The Children? — Tags: Toni Thorn of 12:10pm campaign for real justice —
As a society we are increasingly seeing child killers not only being given appauling sentences, but being given new identites and a new home in another country upon their release, all at the taxpayers expense. As good british citizens, we (the public) want to see these rights for child killers abolished.
While I can understand where you’re coming from with this, the British public have proven in the past that they cannot be trusted with the knowledge that a known child killer has been released from Prison. The British tabloids have a wonderful habit of putting inflammatory stories in their pages, in many cases seeming to promote Vigilantism. The “Named and Shamed” articles that the News of the World put in its paper a few years ago are evidence enough of that – they listed the names and locations of convicted child sex offenders, and people went and threw bricks threw the doors of the people listed.
While intentionally killing a child is an unforgivable act, if the criminal has served their time they deserve to live their lives in peace and not be further persecuted.
Posted by Andrew @ May 6th, 2009 7:39 pm. Filed under: Couldn't If He Wanted To,Gibberish,I'm Keeping The Whole Class Back,Is Research The Same Thing As Making Shit Up? Good.,It Says So In The Daily Mail,Not actual justice -- just what I wanted. Which is basically the same thing.,Racism,Really REALLY Bad Ideas,Rejected Petitions —
I’m afraid I have bad news… your son died last night.
I’m afraid I have some more bad news… it was suicide.
I’m afraid I have yet more bad news… he killed fifty innocent people in a bombing.
Oh, and one more thing…
This will play on the mind of would be suicide bombers- as they will know they will directly hurt their own loved ones by carrying out their selfish act.
Assets of the parents (although an irrelevant, miniscule amount) will be seized to help aid victims, to further resources and to deter further attacks.
You are far less likley to blow yourself up and cause mass murder if you knew your family will directly suffer as a result of your actions.
You know what we need? More wars: ‘…Pass a Law stating that the Minister for Defence must have served at least four years in one of HM Armed Forces, and have had no serious disciplinary actions taken against them’ — Master Christopher Leavesley
It’s vitally important that nobody without a high salary become an MP:
my reasons for asking you to publish mp earnings before elections is for them to prove they entered parliment to serve. and not as stated to line their pockets.
You know, because the upper classes have been so good at it of late.
And now, for some light-hearted nonsense:
We all wish to see a full and frank investigation into what is not just claims of lies and injustice but can be backed up with documented records of accounts and original reports and letter’s and diary inputs also witness statements form many professionals and various other valid personals.
If this passes: ‘…Everyone who commits a crime/offence should have them same done to them. Life should also mean life.’ — James Fox then I think we can expect an increase in rape.
There are few legitimate reasons to purchase or use a baseball bat in the UK! Baseball is not our national game, it is considered a niche sport in the UK and we have no significant major or mini league.
The use of baseball bats have a greater impact, quite literally ,in criminal activity in the UK!
It is my belief that purchased baseball bats are highly likely to be used in criminal activity, violent assault , intimidation and criminal damage -
Therefore I would petition that the sale of bats be banned (with exception for legitimate sports associations).
If one takes the view that when a bat is purcased in a sports retail store – it is likely to be used in some element of criminal activity …..we need to act.We restrict the sale of knives and guns and should therefore now assess bats.
Consider when the last report of violence with a cricket bat was reported compared to a baseball bat and my point is made. Please help me to send a resounding message to the legislature to address this issue.
There are few legitimate reasons, but I’m pretty sure I can think of one. I love the idea, though, that people will continue not to hit each other with cricket bats if baseball bats are banned. It’s so charming. No, cricket’s far too polite for that. It’d be great, though, wouldn’t it? You’d see a chap get mugged on the street and say to your friend, ‘ooh, that’s not cricket’, and he’d say, ‘technically, it is!’ Oh, the hilarity.
Was anybody else hoping this: ‘…Provide a FREE pedometer to every school child in the UK.’ — Mr Charles Ambrose Walduck was to alert children to nearby paedos?
I heard once, the NHS treated this brown coloured chap, and didn’t even charge him. It’s a disgrace:
It seems that Gordan Brown has commited an act/s of treason for allowing islam to come before freedom of speech and the rights of british citizens whom he is supposed to serve and protect from threats and terrorists.Benefits are being paid to UK muslims so they can buy UK equipment and bomb making components to kill British troops abroad with his full knowledge.
They really have to abolish the dirty-bomb allowance.
You know what else we should abolish? Stubbing your toe. Hurts, doesn’t it? ‘…Abolish the social class system’ — Conor And your idea makes about as much sense.
Posted by Ben @ April 6th, 2009 7:22 pm. Filed under: ...Or Else!,Everyone Stop What You're Doing Because You're Mildly Inconveniencing Me,Invading The Animal Kingdom,Not actual justice -- just what I wanted. Which is basically the same thing.,spelin an grammer —
How is it an invasion of privacy when they’re taking photos of public locations?
I feel that all this media about SBT being aggressive dogs is wrong, as any dog can be harmful if there in the wrong hands. I feel that bringing in a law which says you must be at least 21+ to buy or own a SBT, could solve half the problems of them coming into the wrong hands. I myself have a SBT and she is the most loyalist, loving dog iv ever had, she is brilliant around my son. I couldnt ask for a better dog.
Because no one over the age of 21 has ever done anything nasty to or with a dog.
Posted by Andrew @ January 31st, 2009 9:01 pm. Filed under: ...Or Else!,I Pay Taxes So You Have To Do Anything I Say,I Want To Watch Sports For Free,Lies Damn Lies And Nonsense Statistics,Lord Knows I Ask Not For Myself,Not actual justice -- just what I wanted. Which is basically the same thing.,Rejected Petitions,spelin an grammer,Stand Back! I'm Going To Try SCIENCE!,We Have To Save Christmas!,We The Undersigned Just Lost The Game.,What Would Idiot-Jesus Do? —
Brace yourselves. This is amazing:
The tradition of public houses in England dates back centuries. They play a vital role in social cohesion and the relaxation and de-stressing of the majority of people. Health studies show that a Type A personality, an inability to release stress, is a greater predictor of cancer than smoking. If the unintended consequence of the smoking ban is the loss of this vital safety valve the overall health of the nation may suffer.
It is a simple matter of legislation to achieve the benefits of non smoking and the benefits of the public house by offering a choice, a basic human right, to be staffed and frequented by those who choose to be there.
The Department of health’s figures on which the government supports its legislation are highly misleading. They focus on the benefits of compliance and disregard the psychological and social health benefits of the public house.
- 98% compliance only means we abide by the law.
- 76% of people in support (and even 55% of
smokers in support); This suggests 55% of smokers support the law while only 21% (76% – 55%) of non smokers do; a highly dubious finding.
- 87 % of businesses said …. only means the public abide by the law.
Oh, my God, you don’t understand anything. The attempt at mathematics is my favourite bit, but the criticism of the compliance statistic for not referring to support is a stroke of genius too. I feel like I have to invent about six new categories just for this one idiotic demand. Also, indulging your dangerous drug addiction in other people’s workplaces is not a ‘basic human right’, you utter dick.
In view of the government’s recent re direction of tax payers money
I would like part of my tax payers money to ensure that National team sport can be seen on terrestrial TV.
British sport should be viewable to all in Britain. Our children deserve it.
Viewing sport in this country should not be elitist
Bonus points to Fake Keith Jones for combining the usually separate categories of I Want To Watch The Football For Free and Lord Knows I Ask Not For Myself. But mostly, shared for his delightful butchered phrasing ‘my tax payers money’. He has his own tax-payer.
We the undersigned demand the right to test each Taser on each individual police officer and the Home Secretary before each weapon is released to a FULLY TRAINED officer. We further demand that all officers to whom these weapons are released are fully trained to handle these firearms in order to avoid the abuses we have already seen both in this country and others where they are used. This is in order to reduce the demand for release of these weapons to under-trained and untrustworthy police officers by a Home Secretary who is never likely to be on the receiving end of one unlike perfectly law abiding members of the public who are constantly at threat from under-trained, lazy, or generally uncaring and incompetent police officers. This is not to defame all police officers, but power leads to abuse – it is a fact, and the public need protecting.
That would be ‘no’.
this is going to be epic fail .
It must be stopped!
Realistically, how likely was Brown to watch Dragonball Evolution anyway?
This version of the song is a disgrace to the word “music”. The whole programme has proved itself to be a vehicle in the destruction of credible music. Music stores should be forced to replace the above named version with copies of more credible versions, to include, but not limited to those by Leonard Cohen, Jeff Buckley and John Cale.
This would go right against the separation of morons and state.
We are, the celtic people, are tired of living under the Tyranny of the Queen and her goverment, we want to be free like we once were. We Want a Free Scotland, a Free Wales and a United Ireland, and wont stop until we have it!
Then don’t ask like a git. Have you seen the queen? She’d be a rubbish tyrant. Can’t even control her own family.
Due to the spirit of christmas vanashing we might as well make a token gesture every leap year. With a ban on decorations any where before the 14th December , especially in retail. We can then return to once a year when the season of good will and not commerce is recognized . Let’s kick the mighty £ out of Christmas.
It has come to our attention that the cessation of “the Game” shall only come into effect once the prime minister announces this on national television… As foretold by the prophecy handed down to us throughout the ages by the nameless ones.
Until then the disruption and frustration of near certain loss shall continue.
Not enough xkcd here.
Sceintific discoveries are now uncovering a link between psyche and disease. As this link becomes more apparent the government policy of using cigarette packets to advertise and promote disease will be recognised as misguided.
You’d have to be pretty determined to nocebo your way into dying of cancer.
Clearly, with a vote so resoundingly against Manchester’s proposed congestion charge, those who supported the yes campaign and the millions of pounds of wasted public money on the referendum should be held accountable. They are evidently so out of touch with the people they purportedly represent to deserve being removed from office.
I live in Manchester and the last people I want running the place are the cretins who make up the general population.
this petition is to try and stop retailers opening on boxing day
We the undersigned petition the Prime Minister to do everything in his power to exercise justice for responsible pensioners who verifiably paid their statutory dues during the working life through income tax, national insurance contributions, SERPS or private pension, but who are currently denied access to council tax relief, rent allowance and cold weather payments.
This petition recognises that the government exercises a threshold for access to social security benefits but urges the Prime Minister to review the existing ceiling in respect of responsible pensioners in the light of the spiralling cost of living and the hardship it is inflicting on these marginalised senior citizens who, having made voluntary provision for retirement, are now increasingly obliged to resort to using meagre savings to meet their statutory obligations.
This petition further urges the Prime Minister to consider exempting marginalised pensioners in their seventies, eighties and beyond from paying council tax.
Fair enough, probably, but I’m posting your petition because you’ve defined ‘justice’ to mean ‘what I want just now’. I have a category for that and I’m determined to use it because it’s a Peep Show quote. If you want something, ask for that. Don’t just generally demand ‘justice’ and expect everyone to know what you’re talking about.
Posted by Ben @ January 16th, 2009 1:16 pm. Filed under: I AM TALKING!,Not actual justice -- just what I wanted. Which is basically the same thing.,Not Government Business,Presumably The Prime Minister Is Not Too Busy,Really REALLY Bad Ideas,Rejected Petitions,Sorry, What Was I Talking About?,This Is What We're Outraged At This Week,Young, Dumb, And Online —
It’s my turn to have a look-see through the rejected petitions, and… wow.
This is a serious petition and not intended to be humorous. Life should mean life for all murderers, rapists, paedophiles etc. I propose however that televised gladiatorial matches should be created for the prisoners to fight in. For every victory they earn 1 day off their sentence. The victim/victims family get to choose how the loser is punished. Proceeds from the matches go to victim support, hospitals, education and science only.
This seems, more or less, to be a combination of the plots from Gladiator and The Running Man.
We feel that this country has gone OTT in its attitude to smoking. We have accepted the smoking ban in public places with very little problems – probably because as a group we have great consideration for others. But how much further is this persecution going to go – will it be soon any films showing people smoking will not be allowed to be screened on TV. Will non-smokers not be allowed to see great films such as the Guns of Navarone.
To reveal the identity of The Stig (as seen on TV show Top Gear). The identity of idols should not be concealed.
I think it’d be a better idea to ask the Prime Minister to tell us what’s really happening on “Lost”. And, uh, this petition probably wasn’t posted by our own Andrew. Probably.
More details cannot be shown
Baby P? Are people still talking about that?
I believe it’s about time we had Wrestlemania in the UK or ATLEAST a PPV, over the last few years the popularity of WWE in the UK has soared recently announcing record attendance and profit for their UK tour. I think they could start giving us something more though. We need to start a petition to get their attention to show that we actually want it here. The last mania brought a record $50 million us dollars to their economy
Did it? How wonderful!