Posted by Ben @ February 4th, 2010 8:37 pm. Filed under: I'm serious!,Oh Yeah? Let's See You Write A Better Petition!,These Kids Today With Their Modern Haircuts And Hippetty-Hop Music,Young, Dumb, And Online — Tags: Master Connor Betts, Tobias Holbrook —
Tobias Holbrook would like to talk to you logically for a moment.
by Tobias HolbrookCurrently, the voting age is not set on a rational basis. It is set at 18, despite a lack of evidence that 18 is a logical age to set it at. I propose to lower the voting age at a local level as a pilot, to see what effect allowing people as young as 12 to vote and stand for election would have. The results from this can then be used to determine a logical voting age for national elections.
Yes! This is clearly the logical choice! Let’s see what 12year-olds, who have little or no understanding of how the world works, have to say! Or better yet let’s see what the 12 year-olds’ parents have to say as they’ll be the ones telling their kids what to vote for!
But young Master Betts (I shit you not) has another suggestion:
by Master Connor BettsI am writing this petition for my Citizenship GSCE Coursework. The more signatures, the better. I know there are alot of people who share the same views as I do. In my opinion, If sixteen year olds are allowed to risk their lives for their country, Then why can’t they be given the ability to vote for who they are fighting for? If they can devote their lives to another person (Marriage) and sign a marriage certificate, Then why can’t they sign a less important and more simple document being the ballot paper?
This does present us with a conundrum. Tobias wants to knock the age all the way down to 12. There’s a gap here of four years. What shall we do?
Fortunately, Tobias is willing to compromise:
by Tobias HolbrookOne of the issues our democracy is facing is the voting age. There are many arguments both for and against lowering the voting age, but they tend to miss an obvious compromise – a tiered system, where town parish council elections would have an age limit of 12, district council elections and age limit of 14, county council elections an age limit of 16, and a national age limit of 18.
The advantages would be numerous. It would give people a chance to become more involved in the political process as they grow older, while also serving to gather useful information that would inform further debates on the voting age.
We hope the government considers this idea carefully.
Yes! Such a brilliant idea! And this despite a lack of evidence to support that 12, 14 and 16 are the logical voting ages for these regions.
Posted by Ben @ January 26th, 2010 8:50 pm. Filed under: I'm serious!,Thank You For Coming -- It's Been Very Useful,Unintentional Irony — Tags: Mr Timothy John Tyne —
by Mr Timothy John TyneRepeal all discrimination laws because they are fundamentally unfair.
Doncha think?
By the way: Based solely on this petition, I’m going to go ahead and assume that Mr Timothy John Tyne is a racist, sexist, homophobic, xenophobic douche canoe who hates everyone who isn’t a straight white male with blond hair, blue eyes, and a deep, masculine voice.
Posted by Ben @ January 26th, 2010 8:29 pm. Filed under: Clearly You've Thought This Through,I'm serious!,So I Just Type What I Want Here And The PM Has To Do It?,Sorry, What Was I Talking About? — Tags: Mr Owen Bell —
by Mr Owen BellEvery supermarket shows price decreases and marks sale items in very large, eye-catching ways, in an effort to entice buyers into buying things they don’t need in quantities they could never use. However, if a price increases, the label does not have to indicate that it has done so. If supermarkets were forced to mark price increases at least as prominently as they mark price drops, the prominence of price drop advertisements would necessarily shrink, as there simply is not sufficient space to label everything with 3 square feet of signage.
The key problem with this idea is the presumption that supermarkets are the reason things get more expensive instead of, say, interest. People aren’t smart. They’re constantly going on about How Much Cheaper Things Were Back Then, gleefully omitting How Much less They Were Paid Back Then. That being said, I think Mr Bell’s endgame here is to get rid of signs in supermarkets. Which… annoying him… for some reason?
Posted by Andrew @ January 20th, 2010 8:42 pm. Filed under: Batshit Mental Rants,I Must Be Of Something,I Petition The Government To Your Name Here,I'm serious!,Oh Yeah? Let's See You Write A Better Petition!,Rejected Petitions — Tags: Martin Bjelland —
by Martin Bjelland Konstali of Human beings…!(rejected)
Hello Gorden Brown, maybe you know me!
Turn it off so I`m alone in my body again. Turn everyone off that would like to just be alone in their own body again. WE Pray WE Beg We hope! Please turn off this system that makes us communicate inside our minds. Be in other bodies and for me, I`m not alone in my own body, there are other people in my body, and it has to be turn off now! I`m Martin Bjelland Konstali! I live in Norway and would like you to know that I`M here to help! You can visit my INTERNET page and write me by email or call me every day 24-7. Visit my blogg and the web page can be found if you search my name on Google and look for the address to my blogg in the photo on my facebook account that is visible to everyone. All relevant information is on the blogg.A very honest hug from me. Best regards! Martin Bjelland Konstali.
His blog is most illuminating.
Posted by Ben @ January 18th, 2010 11:35 pm. Filed under: Anything I Want Should Be Mandatory,Don't Worry About What THEY Want,Everyone Stop What You're Doing Because You're Mildly Inconveniencing Me,George Orwell Had The Right Idea,I Pay Taxes So You Have To Do Anything I Say,I'm serious!,Thank You For Coming -- It's Been Very Useful,Unreasonable Demands — Tags: Robin Rawlings —
I’ll leave the discussion of this charming little petition in your capable hands, folks:
by Robin RawlingsAs a tax payer I fed up seeing my neighbours who don’t work watching their 40″ plasma tv’s, I can’t afford one and I work and pay tax so why should lazy people contributing nothing to the country get more than hard working people. We should force them to work if they don’t work, by building workhouses and then sending them to workhouses.
Posted by Ben @ January 12th, 2010 6:56 am. Filed under: Batshit Mental Rants,I Could've Looked This Up But Instead I Watched Countdown,I'm serious!,Is Research The Same Thing As Making Shit Up? Good.,There's No Time For Thinking! — Tags: Nicholas Fox —
by Nicholas FoxThe world is not facing a threat from global warming, but global cooling.
In Europe, most of the USA and even in Asia, including China, many of us in the early days of 2010 are currently experiencing extreme cold weather.
I call on the government to increase taxes – and to spend the revenue on sun farms. A sun farm would use electricity to power huge lamps that might heat an area the size of a small town.
I have studied temperatures globally over the last few months and if the world continues to cool at the current trend the whole of humanity is threatened.
Of course! It’s all so simple!
Posted by Ben @ January 6th, 2010 9:04 pm. Filed under: I'm serious!,Oh Yeah? Let's See You Write A Better Petition!,Please State The Nature of the Medical Emergency,Stop Spending My Money On Things I Don't Understand.,This Is What We're Outraged At This Week — Tags: Robin Carvell —
by Robin CarvellThis petition is an effort to block the nationwide implementation of full body scanners that represent a total violation of privacy, a health risk, and tyranny. Forcing people to pose for naked photos is a crime. If the government does this it will be a criminal government. If the body scanners are allowed to be implemented travelers will be forced to do worse things under the threat of being treated as a terrorist if they refuse the violation of their dignity and freedom. Professors of Molecular and Cell Biology maintain that there is no safe dose of ionizing radiation. In addition to these issues, full body scanners would not even have stopped the Christmas Day bomber from boarding Flight 253, according to a British MP who helped design the machines. “I must advise the Prime Minister – and the British public – that the scanners are not a “silver bullet,” said Ben Wallace, who worked on the scanners at defense research organization QinetiQ. “You would be mistaken to think that they would counter the new threat.”
There are a number of good reasons to be against the Body Scanners being installed at airports – and one or two of them even make it into this petition – but it amuses me that Robin seems to believe that airport passengers will have to “pose for naked photos”, as though this were a nude photo shoot of some sort.
Posted by Ben @ December 29th, 2009 9:03 pm. Filed under: Anything that passes the spellchecker must be what I meant,Apostrophe's,Clearly You've Thought This Through,Commas,Hang on -- This Should've Been Rejected,I'm Keeping The Whole Class Back,I'm serious!,Just Crazy Enough To Work,My Other Car Is Another Car,Oh Yeah? Let's See You Write A Better Petition!,Really REALLY Bad Ideas,spelin an grammer,You Know - We Haven't Banned Anything Lately. — Tags: "eva" —
NOTE: This petition has been removed from the ePetition site, and the author of the petition has agreed to allow us to keep it on the site provided the name is changed. We have tweaked it so the petition is credited simply to “Eva”.
by “Eva”Band planes, cars and anything which is causes global warming. Auto mobiles should only be used for Emergency services only. This would stop pollution, and stop fatel car and plane accidents. Why dont we face up to it, that as a modern race we will not do anything to prevent global warming unless it is against the law. Prime minister’s of the world should take charge, and stop relying on the hope that we will take Tv documentary’s seriously unless we are faced with real forceful dramatic action. A tough challenge for us to except and adapt to, either way this is the only positive solution which would do us no harm.
Yes, it’d do us no harm. Well, besides totally screwing up our economy, of course, because we wouldn’t be able to get the few goods we do manufacture to their destinations, nor would we be able to transport the goods we import.
Also, everything else that’s wrong with your idea.
Posted by Ben @ December 29th, 2009 8:46 pm. Filed under: Batshit Mental Rants,I'm serious!,It Says So In The Daily Mail,It's Just A Little Request...,Stand Back! I'm Going To Try SCIENCE!,Thank You For Coming -- It's Been Very Useful,There's No Time For Thinking!,Unreasonable Demands,Unworkable Ideas — Tags: Ian Baldwin —
Hahahaha!
by Ian BaldwinThe Prime Minister wants colder winters but Britain cannot cope with the small amounts of snow it gets at present. If man made climate change exists (and the undersigned do not believe it does) he should be encouraging global warming in order to keep roads and railways open and save money on severe weather payments.
BWAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
Posted by Ben @ December 23rd, 2009 5:52 pm. Filed under: I'm serious!,My Other Car Is Another Car,spelin an grammer,Thank You For Coming -- It's Been Very Useful,That'd Be Nice — Tags: martin berry of n/a —
There’s something very special about this petition.
by martin berry of n/ai would like the goverment to change the way unpaid parking tickets are left. if european lorries park and get booked in this country they mostley go unpaid why cant there be a new law that if its not paid a warrent marker is placed on the company that ownes the lorrie regardless where its from and when it comes back in the country the police on board computers in there cars are actevated and the lorries are stopped and inpounded untill the fine and access fine is paid the goverment issue budgets to councils every year the councils are loseing millions of pounds by this easy get out drivers have. change it and the goverment will not have to pay out so much saving a lot of money i live in dover kent the gate way to england these drivers at the moment are parking anyware they like and consantley getting away with it and cauesing thousands of pounds of damage every year by the way they park change the law and save money its so easy i would love a reply thank you martin
It starts out with a fairly sensible, nay reasonable request – European lorry drivers do have a habit of parking wherever they like (even in my old hometown of Luton, where they’d just find a small backroad and park up to sleep for the afternoon). However after this our boy Martin descends into science fiction bollocks, asking for the vehicle to somehow be switched off remotely. At that point the petition turns into a letter from a seven year-old.
I completely agree that parking tickets given to lorries and vehicles originating from overseas should be collected in some manner, but this Will Smith I, Robot bollocks isn’t the way to go about doing it.
Posted by Ben @ December 21st, 2009 4:41 pm. Filed under: Clearly You've Thought This Through,I Sure Hope There's No Way This Can Be Misinterpreted.,I'm serious!,Presumably The Prime Minister Is Not Too Busy,spelin an grammer — Tags: Mr Aaron Asphar —
Sometimes it’s entirely possible to see the point that ePetitioners are trying to make, but they make things so much worse for themselves by trying to rationalise things. I’m sure it’s all perfectly logical to them, but it just ends up making them look silly.
Case in point:
by Mr Aaron AspharThey say shoplifting is a crime; yet Asda alone send over 75,000 tonnes of food a year to landfile, because it is more profitable to over-order and dump the surpless then to run out of stock when sales exceed expectations. This is a crime on an industrial scale. Supermarkets should be made to offer their food to charities and customers for free 6 hours before the sell by date. They should also pay a substantial levy by the tonne for landfil. The environmental and social benefits would be vast.
Y’know, you’re right – shoplifting and disposing of out-of-date, surplus stock are comparable crimes.
Posted by Ben @ December 11th, 2009 8:36 pm. Filed under: Everyone Stop What You're Doing Because You're Mildly Inconveniencing Me,I'm serious!,We Have To Save Christmas!,You Know - We Haven't Banned Anything Lately. — Tags: Sandy Peters —
If people aren’t complaining about Christmas decorations going up too early, they’re complaining about Christmas decorations entirely.
by Sandy PetersThere seems to be more and more people who like to decorate the outside of their homes with vulgar Christmas decorations. They are not only an eyesore but also a waste of energy. Please support me in getting these monstrosities banned.
