Posted by Ben @ August 16th, 2010 6:10 pm. Filed under: Batshit Mental Rants,Clearly You've Thought This Through,I Am A Brain!,I Sure Hope There's No Way This Can Be Misinterpreted.,I'm serious!,Lord Knows I Ask Not For Myself,Really REALLY Bad Ideas,Won't Somebody Please Think Of The Children? — Tags: SAFARI —
We’ve lost our way with the issue of child pornography and too many costly resources are being used in trying to convict those who download these pictures instead of those who actually produce them in the first place.In many cases, innocent people are also being convicted of downloading child pornography when they may not have been responsible for doing so.
Let’s remember it’s child abuse we need to stop; downloading indecent images does not directly create victims, but producing the images in the first place does, so we need to get rid of the current pictures and stop the creation of new ones.
So here’s the solution:
- Repeal the law which criminalises the downloading of indecent images of children to allow such downloads on the strict conditions that:
- Any images downloaded are reported on an official Government web site (the person would report details like the web address, file sharing site, FTP location, etc. as well as details of what the photos were.)
- Such reports must be made within 24 hours of downloading (to prevent paedophiles just downloading and retaining pictures and claiming months later that it was their intention to report them)
- The pictures must not be distributed to anyone else.
- All images must be deleted either as soon as they’ve been reported, or (depending on MP’s preferences when changing the law) kept only until they are officially informed that they can be removed (this may be necessary as technically the pictures would be evidence and deleting them could be classed as destruction of evidence).
- Set up the necessary Government Web site to enable people to report pictures found. It would be important that it could handle the demand because many people are quite rightly strongly against child pornography and will probably inundate the web site with reports.
- Allow all adults to take part. It’s important to include those already convicted of sexual crimes because it means those who currently break the law by downloading such pictures and, therefore, who know where they are, could actually use their knowledge to help bring about the elimination of child pornography on the Internet.
Once evidence has been obtained by the Government web site, it could be passed to the police and Internet experts who will be able to use the information to track down the pictures on the web and either have the sites closed (and owners prosecuted) or, where the UK authorities have no legal right to do so (on foreign web sites, for example) to have them blocked to UK Internet users.
The idea could be suggested to other EU Member States and, indeed, outside the EU, and if rolled out around the world, it could eliminate child pornography on the internet for good as anyone even considering making such photographs available would not do so as anyone requesting copies from them may well be doing so for the sole purpose of reporting them using the new system.
The UK Government could even make the reporting web site available to the rest of the world, charging a small fee to each Government to mean the entire system would be self-funding. (Foreign reports would simply be forwarded to the appropriate Government by the UK site.)
If producing indecent images is no longer profitable then far fewer children will be abused to create such pictures.
Finally, one has to accept that unfortunately there are (and will probably always be) paedophiles in the world. It’s a sexual preference, which is not illegal in itself but can LEAD to the law being broken if a child is abused as a result. We therefore suggest that the Government also repeals the law criminalising PSEUDO (i.e. those created by computer or drawn where no child is actually abused) indecent images of children. This would mean paedophiles who might otherwise feel the need to actually abuse a child, could turn to pseudo images instead, thus protecting more children.
Why the contribution is important
This idea will massively reduce, and probably eliminate child pornography on the Internet. It would likely only take a few months as thousands of (unpaid!) members of the public will want to assist and the sheer volume of evidence provided as a result will mean the police’s job will be easy. (It could then remain in place to reduce the changes that new photos will be produced.)Child abuse will be dramatically reduced as the market for indecent images will be shattered.
People will finally feel they are actually able to contribute to the reduction in crime against children.
The idea that the Government should ALLOW people to download illegal images might sound odd at first but it’s important to remember the goal: to stop children being abused.
Just think: By the end of 2010, The UK Government, with help from the people they represent, could have virtually wiped out a massive amount of child abuse.
It’s batshit insane, it’s based on logical fallacies, and it isn’t particularly grounded in reality. In short, the perfect petition.
Posted by Ben @ August 16th, 2010 5:56 pm. Filed under: Anything I Want Is A Human Right,Clearly You've Thought This Through,FREEDOM!!,I'm serious!,Lord Knows I Ask Not For Myself,Thank You For Coming -- It's Been Very Useful,That's SO UNFAIR! I HATE YOU! — Tags: rgriffin —
Sometimes, laws are confusing. People get confused! The best way to alleviate the confusion? Why, get rid of the confusing laws, of course! Like this one:
Hi Goverment,
I love this guy already.
Hi Government,I would like a change or a full repeal of the Serious Organised Crime and Police Act of 2005. Part of this act involved designating sites by order of Secretary of State, such as nuclear power stations, which, if trespassed, incurred servere penalties.
In a one-man protest against the way the government was handling the economy prior to the G8 meetings of May 2009, I climbed over the railings into the front lawn of the Houses of Parliament following a peaceful march through the city. I sat peacefully on the lawn and when approached, stated “This is the people’s parliament, and I am one of the people”.
I was arrested and eventually cautioned for “Trespass on sites designated by order of Secretary of State. Serious Organised Crime and Police Act 2005 S.128.”
My point is this: how can sitting on the lawn of my own government’s meeting place be as bad as breaking into a nuclear power station? Clearly, making a stand for democracy should not be penalised in such a way. Please amend or repeal the law. Thank you.
Why the contribution is important
I believe my idea is important as it will remove an unnecessary restriction on the valid right to protest by the people of Britain.
Right. So… you don’t see a problem with trespassing on property occupied by people who run the country? Okay. Just checking.
Posted by Ben @ July 29th, 2010 8:47 pm. Filed under: Anything I Want Should Be Mandatory,Batshit Mental Rants,FREEDOM!!,I Am A Brain!,I Find That Offensive!,I Must Be Of Something,I'm Religious So You Have To Do Everything I Say,I'm serious!,Not actual freedom -- just what I wanted. Which is basically the same thing.,Really REALLY Bad Ideas,Solve My Imaginary Problems!,Thank You For Coming -- It's Been Very Useful,This Is The Worst Kind Of Discrimination! The Kind Against Me!,Unenforceable Laws,Unreasonable Demands,Unworkable Ideas,We Petition The PM To Climb This Wall Of Text,What Would Idiot-Jesus Do?,Won't Somebody Please Think Of The Children? — Tags: Debra —
Oh dear. Here we have Debra, a precious little dumpling who seems to think that all legislation is trumped by “God’s Law” – y’know, stone the gays, women to be used as a form of currency, that sort of thing. Debra’s brain exists in that special cerebral universe designed specifically for the sort of person who usually lives in America attending Tea Party rallies, only in this instance she (presumably) lives in the UK, and the only Tea Parties she attends are parties where she drinks tea.
Let’s have a look, then: (more…)
Posted by Ben @ July 14th, 2010 9:11 pm. Filed under: Everyone Stop What You're Doing Because You're Mildly Inconveniencing Me,I AM TALKING!,I Am A Brain!,I'm serious!,It's Just A Little Request...,My Other Car Is Another Car,Really REALLY Bad Ideas,Thank You For Coming -- It's Been Very Useful,That's SO UNFAIR! I HATE YOU!,There's No Time For Thinking!,Unintentional Irony,Unworkable Ideas,Work Around My Delusions Dammit!,spelin an grammer — Tags: appleton306, ChurchCrawler, TJ102 —
Abolish the “Get Set” stage of our traffic lights, leaving Red (On your marks) and Green (Go!) operative only. Amber will only light to signal the lights are changing to red.Why the contribution is important
This increases road safety, and stops those idiots from gambling by starting to pull away at Red & Amber whilst other idiots are speeding through at solid amber from another direction.
I can’t wait to see all of the accidents that pop up as a result of people reaching the junction just as the light turns red and slamming the breaks on.
The 70 mph speed limit on motorways and dual carriageways has been in force since December 1965.Over the time since it was introduced, there have been substantial improvements in vehicle and road safety measure
According to the Association of British Drivers, in 1965, 70 mph represented more than 80% of the maximum speed of average cars, wheras now it represents only 60%. They estimate that at present, 56% of car drivers exceed the motorway speed limit.
Why the contribution is important
Drivers know their own limits and the limits of their vehicles. They should be concentrating on the quality of their driving, rather than an arbitrary 45 year old speed limit.We should abolish the speed limit and concentrate on preventing dangerous driving.
Seriously? Are you serious? How can you be for “preventing dangerous driving” but against the speed limit? Are you daft or something?
WE WANT TO USE THE FULL POWER POTENTIAL OF THE VEHICLE WE BUY!!AUTOBAHN IN ENGLAND!
INTRODUCE TOP SPEED LANE ON MOTORWAY!!!!!!!!
Why the contribution is important
SAFER AND FASTERSAFER= NOT SHITTING YOURSELF CAUSE THERES A SPEED CAMERA UP AHEAD CAUSING YOU TO BREAK SHARPLY AND UNNECESSARY!
HAHAHAHAHAHA!
Posted by Ben @ April 1st, 2010 12:33 am. Filed under: I Find That Offensive!,I'm serious!,Join the Fight Against Nebulous Bad-Sounding Things! — Tags: Mr Rex Hora —
by Mr Rex HoraThis is not a joke and the fact that this petition was initially rejected as a joke shows clearly how insensitive employers have become. The term “human resources” is offensive and degrading because it implies that an employee is no more than a piece of office equipment, like a desk or a computer. In a free country, the government cannot ban the use of the term but it could set an example by not using it in government offices.
It’s not that employers have been insensitive, it’s that you’ve become overly sensitive. Now, would you kindly climb into an industrial-size blender and frappé yourself?
Posted by Ben @ March 23rd, 2010 5:21 pm. Filed under: Commas,I'm serious! — Tags: Daniel Bascomb-O'Brien —
by Daniel Bascomb-O’BrienWe petition the Prime Minister to bring back into UK geography, the great and ancient county of Wessex.
Okay. Er. Why?
Posted by Ben @ March 23rd, 2010 1:11 am. Filed under: I'm serious!,Rejected Petitions — Tags: Keith Jones —
Keith Jones is thirsty. Thirsty for power.
by Keith Jones of Taxpaying Pensioner without political affiliation (rejected)It is plainly obvious that the people who are currently responsible for checking and approving claims are unable to read the book of rules and MUST be removed from the task. As a tax paying pensioner I have a vested interest in ensuring that the money is properly spent. I absolutely guarantee that there is no individual nor organisation nor amount of money can hold sway over the way I would exercise my responsibilities in this post.
by keith jones of taxpaying pensioner without political affiliation (rejected)Now that the recently appointed Chairman has said he may not be able to fulfil the role, Gordon Brown has an opportunity to move away from the ‘establishment’ and to appoint someone who has no interest in become lorded, nor in making a fortune. Keith Jones will do the job diligently, always in favour of the taxpayer, honestly and with transparency and probity AND he will do it without being paid for it. His only fees will be travel costs between his home in South Wales and his office in Westminster, though why he has to have an office in Westminster is the first item on his review agenda.
Y’know, I’d kind of like to see this, if only to see how much Keith manages to balls up both gigs at once. Not entirely sure why he chose to refer to himself in the third person for his second petition though. I mean, his name on the thing. People already know he wrote it.
Posted by Ben @ February 23rd, 2010 5:53 pm. Filed under: I'm serious!,Join the Fight Against Nebulous Bad-Sounding Things!,Nanny Knows Best — Tags: Richard Garland —
by Richard GarlandWhy would we possibly put even one police officer at risk by putting their name badge on display. Why would we even subject one officer to the traumatic experience of having a criminal threaten them, and knowing their name which could at the very least cause them to feel threatened, or the obvious worse possibilities. Even if it only happens once, believe me it will happen. It’s simply not worth the risk. And it’s a really bad idea, I mean if our politicians are really considering this, I think they should be questioning their own ability to run a country. Does it matter if they dont have their name on their uniform? I mean, they have a badge number, and can easily be asked their name. I’ve heard the arguments for this, and they’re all easily brought down. Even if a lot, or most, of the police support this idea, at the very least a few will suffer anxiety, stress, and even violence as a result. Please reconsider.
Considering some of the dangers police officers risk on a day-to-day basis, I think having criminals yell their name at them is probably the least of their worries.
Posted by Ben @ February 16th, 2010 12:47 pm. Filed under: "Making Britain Great Again",Clearly You've Thought This Through,I Am A Brain!,I'm serious!,It's Just A Little Request...,Just Crazy Enough To Work,Really REALLY Bad Ideas,Thank You For Coming -- It's Been Very Useful,That'd Be Nice,Unworkable Ideas,Won't Somebody Please Think Of The Children?,Work Around My Delusions Dammit!,spelin an grammer — Tags: Yvonne Reeves —
by Yvonne ReevesIf the Government get rid of these Flats it will hopefully get rid of the Getto’s and People will Respect where they Live and their Children will grow up as Good Citizens and Parents.
The people who lived in the tower blocks will simply cease to be, and the Happiness Fairy will sprinkle her fairydust on the building site and wonderful houses with beautiful back gardens will sprout out of the ground! The people in the neighbourhoods will suddenly become kind, wonderful, generous people who’ll put away their hoodies, pull out their acoustic guitars, and sing songs of joy and rapture until the sun goes down.
Then they’ll mug everyone.
Posted by Ben @ February 15th, 2010 9:25 pm. Filed under: A Rose By Any Other Name Would Be Less Funny,Everyone Stop What You're Doing Because You're Mildly Inconveniencing Me,I'm serious!,Join the Fight Against Nebulous Bad-Sounding Things!,So I Just Type What I Want Here And The PM Has To Do It?,Thank You For Coming -- It's Been Very Useful,That's SO UNFAIR! I HATE YOU!,The Nasty Television Upset Me! — Tags: John Catley —
by John CatleyThe Prime Minister has chosen to give his full backing and support to the case for Anthropogenic Global Warming. That is his right as an individual and that right is part of the constitution of this country. The Prime Minister does not have the right to insult millions of British people by describing them as “deniers”, a particularly hateful and emotive insult, because they do not share his view. Recently Chief Scientific Adviser, Sir John Beddington, said “I don’t think it’s healthy to dismiss proper scepticism. Science grows and improves in the light of criticism. There is a fundamental uncertainty about climate change prediction that can’t be changed.” In spite of this, and significant evidence to show that there is indeed much in doubt, the Prime Minister continues issue his insults.
There’s a difference between “I’m not sure if climate change is happening” and “It’s definitely not happening.” One is stating a feeling of uncertainty, and the other is outright denial – and when I say “denial” I don’t mean the psychological “I’m not listening la la la la” denial, I mean the literal denial. Most people labelled as “clime change deniers” aren’t raising questions about whether it’s going on or not – they’re outright saying it’s not happening. The label is apt.
Posted by Ben @ February 4th, 2010 8:37 pm. Filed under: I'm serious!,Oh Yeah? Let's See You Write A Better Petition!,These Kids Today With Their Modern Haircuts And Hippetty-Hop Music,Young, Dumb, And Online — Tags: Master Connor Betts, Tobias Holbrook —
Tobias Holbrook would like to talk to you logically for a moment.
by Tobias HolbrookCurrently, the voting age is not set on a rational basis. It is set at 18, despite a lack of evidence that 18 is a logical age to set it at. I propose to lower the voting age at a local level as a pilot, to see what effect allowing people as young as 12 to vote and stand for election would have. The results from this can then be used to determine a logical voting age for national elections.
Yes! This is clearly the logical choice! Let’s see what 12year-olds, who have little or no understanding of how the world works, have to say! Or better yet let’s see what the 12 year-olds’ parents have to say as they’ll be the ones telling their kids what to vote for!
But young Master Betts (I shit you not) has another suggestion:
by Master Connor BettsI am writing this petition for my Citizenship GSCE Coursework. The more signatures, the better. I know there are alot of people who share the same views as I do. In my opinion, If sixteen year olds are allowed to risk their lives for their country, Then why can’t they be given the ability to vote for who they are fighting for? If they can devote their lives to another person (Marriage) and sign a marriage certificate, Then why can’t they sign a less important and more simple document being the ballot paper?
This does present us with a conundrum. Tobias wants to knock the age all the way down to 12. There’s a gap here of four years. What shall we do?
Fortunately, Tobias is willing to compromise:
by Tobias HolbrookOne of the issues our democracy is facing is the voting age. There are many arguments both for and against lowering the voting age, but they tend to miss an obvious compromise – a tiered system, where town parish council elections would have an age limit of 12, district council elections and age limit of 14, county council elections an age limit of 16, and a national age limit of 18.
The advantages would be numerous. It would give people a chance to become more involved in the political process as they grow older, while also serving to gather useful information that would inform further debates on the voting age.
We hope the government considers this idea carefully.
Yes! Such a brilliant idea! And this despite a lack of evidence to support that 12, 14 and 16 are the logical voting ages for these regions.
Posted by Ben @ January 26th, 2010 8:50 pm. Filed under: I'm serious!,Thank You For Coming -- It's Been Very Useful,Unintentional Irony — Tags: Mr Timothy John Tyne —
by Mr Timothy John TyneRepeal all discrimination laws because they are fundamentally unfair.
Doncha think?
By the way: Based solely on this petition, I’m going to go ahead and assume that Mr Timothy John Tyne is a racist, sexist, homophobic, xenophobic douche canoe who hates everyone who isn’t a straight white male with blond hair, blue eyes, and a deep, masculine voice.