Posted by Ben @ August 31st, 2010 8:48 pm. Filed under: Batshit Mental Rants,Commas,Exclamation marks!!!!,I Am A Brain!,I Pay Taxes So You Have To Do Anything I Say,I'm Keeping The Whole Class Back,Is Research The Same Thing As Making Shit Up? Good.,It Says So In The Daily Mail,Not actual freedom -- just what I wanted. Which is basically the same thing.,Racism,Sorry, What Was I Talking About?,That's SO UNFAIR! I HATE YOU!,This Is The Worst Kind Of Discrimination! The Kind Against Me!,We Don't Take Kindly To Your Type Rahnd These Pahts,We're British, Dammit!,Work Around My Delusions Dammit!,Xenophobia,spelin an grammer — Tags: JANET —
cancel human rights law, and get out of this e.u monstrous mistake!!!!!!!Why the contribution is important
To give this country the freedom, and rewards, that the true British deserve. The “so called human rights, seem only to work for illegal immigrants, who are known terrorists, thieves, and gang members. You have only to watch documentaries, or read the national press to see what I mean. All the time, you can see “illegals” given housing, some of them, mansions, that cost thousands of pounds ,in the name of human rights. Benefits should only be paid to people who have paid into this country, i.e. tax, and national insurance . We are a laughing stock. The last government, (and I use the word government, loosly) cut funding to universities, so that HOME students only have very few places, the rest of the places, of which there is many, go to foreign students. Only if you are financially independent, can you get a place in university. Some-one I know of, gained the marks at college, which he was told, that last year, with those very same marks, he would have been able to gain access to university, but now, like the funding,every thing has been changed! The worst thing was, he was told ” It’s a pity you cant go to Africa, for three yearsbecause then, you could have come back to this(his own country of birth) as an overseas university student.
You can’t argue with that. You really can’t. Not because it’s accurate in any way, but because doing so is like volunteering to have your frontal lobe slowly sawn off with a piece of rusty barbed wire.
Posted by Ben @ July 15th, 2010 9:55 pm. Filed under: I Am A Brain!,I'm Keeping The Whole Class Back,It's Just A Little Request...,Thank You For Coming -- It's Been Very Useful,These Kids Today With Their Modern Haircuts And Hippetty-Hop Music,spelin an grammer —
Are Lollipop people really needed?How the idea could be implemented
Plenty of Zebra crossings and Traffic Lights for Children to Cross at.
Jonestly, if an 8 year-old schoolboy hasn’t figured out how to cross the road by now he deserves to be hit by a car.
Posted by Ben @ April 21st, 2010 2:12 am. Filed under: Hanging's Too Good For 'Em!,I AM TALKING!,I'm Keeping The Whole Class Back,Presumably The Prime Minister Is Not Too Busy,Reject Rednesday,Rejected Petitions,The Nasty Television Upset Me!,Thinking Things Through Is Just Not British,What A Load Of Bankers — Tags: Aleksands Halamins, Keith Jones, Mrs Theresa Thomas —
Have a petition. Hey, I’m feeling generous – have three.
by Aleksands Halamins (rejected)I am sick and tired of teachers using “sick pay” advantages not to come and teach at school. Moreover, we as a taxpayer finance these sick off days and instead we have to pay the supply teacher as well as the teacher who is “ill”. Making most state school teachers self-employed will make them realize that that’s the way it goes: if you don’t come to school to teach – you wont get paid, as simple as that! Making the teachers self-employed will have its own disadvantages, however as a self-employed you will pay less tax and also you could make claims. Making the teachers self-employed will improve their attendance. Furthermore, this decision will 100% improve education in BRITAIN!
Yeah! Teachers don’t come to school at all! All they do is lounge about at home watching Diagnosis Murder and raking in the cash. This’ll teach ‘em.
by keith jones of taxpaying pensioner with no political nor religious affiliation (rejected)Gordon Brown has created the worst financial situation in the history of people living on this island. There has to be some merit in considering what horrendous fate should befall somebody who has done more damage to this country than any other single person, living or dead.
Keith Jones there, politely asking the government to think about cutting Gordon Brown’s head off.
by Mrs Theresa Thomas (rejected)This is an official petition to have Frankie Boyle return to the quiz show ‘Mock The Week’. Frankie is an asset to the quiz show and British lives are not the same with out him.
The government have officially rejected your official petition, because it’s officially crap.
Posted by Ben @ April 5th, 2010 7:23 pm. Filed under: I'm Keeping The Whole Class Back,I'm Religious So You Have To Do Everything I Say,Rejected Petitions,We Petition The PM To Climb This Wall Of Text,What Would Idiot-Jesus Do?,Won't Somebody Please Think Of The Children?,Work Around My Delusions Dammit!,You and What Army? — Tags: Mr Mark Golding of Redsky —
This petition is choc-a-bloc with lunacy.
by Mr Mark Golding of Redsky (rejected)The idea that a nation exists because of its military power is the raison d’etre of neanderthals. Military establishments in the UK since the dark ages have used God’s name in vain when going into battle. God instructs or directs no man to murder another – this is a fallacious Jewish concept alien to Jesus Christ. The God in this context is not the Creator but the Destroyer – God’s enemy. Unbelievers cannot have it both ways. You cannot think that God is on your side when you support a killing machine that murders innocent citizens by the thousands as in Dresden. Coz He ain’t. If you want to support a killing machine then do it as unbelievers, without dragging the name of God into your conscience as a kind of sanitary towel for soaking up the blood from your hands. Choose destruction or life but don’t think that God supports destruction. He doesn’t, not even if the Queen says so. God is not with the Military.
I think the only person who really has a right to complain about having God’s name “dragged through the mud” is probably God, and He’s been decidedly quiet on the subject.
Posted by Ben @ April 1st, 2010 7:16 pm. Filed under: Clearly You've Thought This Through,I'm Keeping The Whole Class Back,Won't Somebody Please Think Of The Children? — Tags: Mr Gregory Staryk-Mills —
by Mr Gregory Staryk-MillsI would like petition that school start and finish times are changed from 8:40-50am & 3:10-30pm to 10am & 4:30pm. These would ease congestion on roads,reduce CO2 emissions and reduce child deaths.
Surely it wouldn’t so much ease congestion as it would push it forward an hour, especially considering all of the parents who’d have to take their kids into school for 10am would now be starting work later, too.
Posted by Ben @ March 23rd, 2010 5:24 pm. Filed under: Anything I Want Should Be Free,I'm Keeping The Whole Class Back,That's SO UNFAIR! I HATE YOU!,Young, Dumb, And Online — Tags: Miss Lucy Smith —
by Miss Lucy SmithGetting to and from school or college should be free as OAPs are free and we don’t even get pensions.
That’s true. You don’t.
Posted by Ben @ March 17th, 2010 7:36 pm. Filed under: I'm Keeping The Whole Class Back,Young, Dumb, And Online,spelin an grammer — Tags: Peter Dunford-King —
by Peter Dunford-KingYears 10 and 11 are the two most important years at secondary school. At this age, whilst under taking GCSEs, students have enough to contend with without compulsory PE. Every 14, 15 and 16 year old understands the basic importance of physical excercise and no longer needs to be taught it. The time spent on PE in Years 10 and 11 could be much better utilised to do work that will affect career choices and futures in the world of work.
“Every 14, 15 and 16 year old understands the basic importance of physical excercise [sic]“? Really? Are you sure about that?
Posted by Ben @ February 16th, 2010 12:57 pm. Filed under: I AM TALKING!,I'm Keeping The Whole Class Back,Unintentional Irony,Won't Somebody Please Think Of The Children?,spelin an grammer — Tags: Keith Jones —
Our good friend Keith Jones took a three-month break from being mad, but he’s back.
by keith jonesi have been told that the learning books which parents can get to do extra learning at home with they child are not good enough and that i have been stopped my the head teacher of my daughter school beacon hill primary first school. i want the public of the uk that every school should have in place where every parents can have access to what the kids are getting taught at school so we can work with the school with out getting banned for doing the extra learning
Good idea. You might want to start with the English textbooks.
Hm. I’m not convinced that he was the real Keith Jones – the one we all know and love. There wasn’t nearly enough self-righteous shouting going on in that petition. Where are you, Keith?
Oh, here you are:
by keith jones of taxpaying pensioner without political nor religious affiliationWe need to put a stop to our government’s gold plating of EU regulations and laws. The blind and silent acceptance of these laws and regulations by our government is done only to put THEM in a good position for future employment in the EU monolith and ABSOLUTELY nothing to do with the running of this now God forsaken country!
Ah, there we are. The indignance, the pomp, the emphasizing with capital letters – slap a request to introduce legislation to change the law on there and we’ve got ourselves a winner. And if I’m not mistaken he’s added a little extra to his moniker, too: he’s now a taxpaying pensioner without political nor religious affiliation!
I don’t know about you, but I simply can’t wait to see what Keith has for us this year.
Posted by Ben @ February 15th, 2010 9:31 pm. Filed under: I'm Keeping The Whole Class Back,We Don't Take Kindly To Your Type Rahnd These Pahts,We're ENGLISH not British!,Xenophobia — Tags: Andre Robertson —
by Andre RobertsonLord Madelson has said “Students who miss out on a university place this autumn should take up an apprenticeship or college place”. If more people are applying to attend University then all English people qualifiying to attend a University in England should be given preferance above over sea’s applicants. The people of England voted in a Goverment to protect the welfare of this nation.
Vice-chancellor of the University of Worcester Professor Green said the government had strayed from its own policies of widening access to higher education.
He said: “One of the most important principles in higher education, for almost 50 years, has been the Robbins principle – that ‘courses of higher education should be available to all those who are qualified by ability and attainment to pursue them and who wish to do so’.”
I think they still have some openings left at Xenophobic Racist Shitcock University.
Posted by Ben @ February 12th, 2010 9:25 pm. Filed under: I Deserve Free Money!,I'm Keeping The Whole Class Back,What A Dick,Won't Somebody Please Think Of The Children? — Tags: Richard Wood —
by Richard WoodMany parents put their children through privately funded schools. Whilst this is an independent choice of those involved, by doing so they reduce the burden on the state education system. Therefore this petition aims to allow parents to gain tax relief for their choice by allowing them tax relief on payments made in relation to school fees. Under existing arrangements parents and guardians are currently taxed for services which they do not benefit from.
You don’t benefit from them because you’ve opted not to. And how does asking the government to give you some money back reduce the burden on the educational system? Where do you think your rebate would come from?
Posted by Ben @ February 11th, 2010 9:03 pm. Filed under: Anything I Want Should Be Free,I'm Keeping The Whole Class Back,Young, Dumb, And Online — Tags: Vasundhara Kodhai —
by Vasundhara KodhaiAll school pupils should be paid an educational allowance to buy educational resources i.e. uniform, pens, books, computer appliances and software etc.
No they shouldn’t. That’s what parents are for, and if they can’t afford to then there are already benefits and schemes set up to help parents in this position. What you want is an increase in pocket money, young Master Kodhai, and to that I say: Sod off. Get a paper route or something.
Posted by Ben @ February 11th, 2010 8:43 pm. Filed under: I'm Keeping The Whole Class Back,Maybe... but not for THAT reason,Won't Somebody Please Think Of The Children? — Tags: Shawn Harding —
by Shawn HardingI believe that teaching religion to children is child abuse as children are automatically programmed to learn whatever is done/taught by the parents no matter how wrong or right their ideology is.
Let them make up their own mind once they have reached the age of 10-12 when they can fully comprehend the religions for what they are and can interpret them as they see fit.
Actually, I disagree. I don’t believe teaching kids about religion is child abuse anymore than teaching children about ancient Egypt, or the Gods of ancient Greece. As long as it’s not taught in the place of Science, and as long as it’s made clear that the religious beliefs are just beliefs with no foundation of reality or fact behind them, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it.
Full Disclosure: I’m an Atheist. There is no God. Wheeeeeee!