by Mr Tulsa ThomasBy signing up to this you belive that we should not be giving money away to other countries when we are in a so called ression and having to make cuts to our public services.
No, by signing this you, too, cannot spell a simple word like “recession”. Oh, and it also makes you a dick.
by Simon HaighIceland must repay the £2.3bn owed to British taxpayers which was loaned to the country by HMG following the failure of its banking system. Until the loan is repaid, the UK and Dutch governments must veto Iceland’s application to join the EU.
If every country with debts owed to another wasn’t allowed to get involved then the EU wouldn’t get anything done.
…Oh.
This is a beautifully moronic petition. I love it. It’s like a snapshot of every racist, xenophobic, “Put Broken Britain First” petition I’ve read over the last year.
by Barbara SteffensenPeople of this country are already taxed to the hilt. They do not need to pay more tax so that Britain can be seen to be a leader in world events. Charity begins at home. We need to take care of our own British people first before looking at other nations, especially considering the debt we’re already in.
by Colin MossThe UK is in dire financial straights & the Prime Minister has the audacity to pledge 1.5 Billion pounds of the UK’s tax payer money to fund poorer countries climate change policies. The population of the UK is suffering enough & will continue to suffer for many years to come because of the bankrupt state that the government has got this country into, & the UK cannot afford to donate any more funds to countries outside the UK. The priority of this government should be to get the UK economy back on track before pledging funds that we do not have. Any rational & sensible government would control this irresponsible expenditure & ensure that UK takes priority. You cannot spend your way out of debt in this manner otherwise we will be in the mire even further than we are now. You, Your children, Your Grand Children & probably Great Grand Children will be paying the countries debt off due to the insane decisions like this donation made in your name by this government. Stop them now. Oh & just by coincidence the government has stripped 1.5 Billion Pounds from the defence budget !!!!!
Yeah! Fuck the climate! What did it ever do for us?
by Mr Barry Beaton
Yeah, fuck everybody who isn’t us!
I spoke to my mum tonight (well, it was tonight in England – it was gone midday here in Los Angeles) who tells me that there probably isn’t a Nigel Paddon in our family. That’s good. I also got the opportunity to ask if there was a Michael Paddon, because today Andrew found this under Rejected Petitions.
by Michael Paddon (rejected)With the recent news that the UK is to give Zimbabwe $100 million in aid, I believe the time is right to stop all foreign aid, a fraction of which actually gets to the people because of corruption at high levels. Why should the UK suffer cutbacks across the board while we are sending millions if not billions of pounds of OUR money abroad?
Frankly, I’ve never been happier to learn I’m not related to someone. I’m not related to most people, as it goes, but thankfully I’m also not related to this dolphin’s testicle.
It’s Wednesday, and that means it’s time to pick at the Reject Bin and see what the British Government had too much common sense to allow the public to sign.
by Jonathan Hall (rejected)This elite ninja force (which should be named NINJA: National Interest Ninja Japanese-y Awesomeness) would take on most of the killing people-type jobs the armed forces have to do so they could concentrate on shouting at people.
I believe this would greatly reduce the government’s spending on defence, thus freeing up more money for education and health.
Brilliant.
Read the rest of this entry »
Oh, this old chestnut:
by Mr Ben GransdenOur country formerly “Great Britian” is seriously in the red, to much money is going abroad to other countries. Britian in the world today is hated, so why are we creating hardship for our own by giving away money to people that don’t even like us!
Oh Ben, you spluttering testicular pustule. I feel ashamed to share even the same name as you.
by Cary ThorntonI have paid taxes for 42 years and have never been to the South Pacific. I find it incredible that I can sit in North Yorkshire and see the effects of so called “global warming” without going to the far side of the planet.
My petition is to STOP so called “explanatory visits” to anywhere outside the U.K. by members of both houses in relation to this wicked and unproven diagnosis – the prognosis of which is entirely unfounded and unproven.
But if you offer to take Cary with you next time, he wouldn’t mind.
by Ms Jacqueline.HannaSurely funding the Pakistani goverment to train and secure their country is enough for Britains involvment in its progress.Please consider bringing our British men home, instead increasing the police force and improving the home office checks on new visitors to our country and re-interviewing those who claimed their passportd within the last 5years should be enough to secure the country within.spend the money inside and for our country.
Yeah. I mean, it’s not like we all live on the same planet, is it? Fuck foreigners.
by jay stewart
…And any of those other dark countries.
we give millions of pound in world aid which is fantastic but it is to much. spend less on world aid and use more of the cash in the uk for our uk charitys and community groups, schools and hospitals.
What an exceedingly polite xenophobe we have in our midsts today.
I feel that personally we need to concentrate more on our own country and get that back up on its feet rather than giving away £60 billion every year to other countries.
Yeah! I mean, so what if Africa freezes over or the polar icecaps burst into flame? That doesn’t affect us, does it!
Recognise that the Iranian election is no longer a political issue but a humanitarian one. Reports are coming in that there has been a massacre across Tehran, against people using their constitutional right of protest. Britain has already been singled out at the enemy of this regime, thus nothing can be gained by keeping quiet. We must act to help the Millions of Iranians in danger.
By acting out or making a statement about the situation in Iran, we’d be offering the current regime an excuse to say, “Yes, see? The British government is causing this entire situation! It’s their fault!” – it is for this reason that the American and British governments have chosen not to get involved.
Besides, considering the mess we made in Iraq, do you really want us blundering in acting like the World Police?
This is to include pamphlets, books and signage. This will aid integration and allow the savings to be spent in other areas.
How will preventing immigrants from having any idea what’s going on in the country they live in “aid integration” exactly?
Oh, hello again Keith Jones. What batshit insane thing do you want this time?
We have far too many problems of our own for us to become involved in any way in the problems in Sri Lanka. They, like the rest of the world, need to sort out their own problems. If the majority of the people allow themselves to be repressed then they should stop putting up petitions on this website soliciting help from the british government and spend time helping themselves. What is going on in Sri Lanka is nothing to do with the british voter/taxpayer.
Everybody is always in a position to solve their problems all of the time forever, regardless of social standing or personal circumstances. So let us take something away from this petition – we should all look out for ourselves, and fuck everybody else. As an example, if Keithy-boy were to get both of his arms blown off and subsequently find himself unable to reach the top shelf to get his copy of Badonkadonk Fortnightly, we shouldn’t stop to help him. Eventually he will learn to reach the top shelf with his feet, or by using telekineses or something like that.
Also!
I believe the European Union is destroying our culture & British country.
What a coincidence – I believe you and your ilk, this suspiciously growing breed of person who seems to think that keeping something inherently British is somehow more important than, say, trying to work as one part of a greater whole, are all a bunch of shitcocks.
As part of the National Curriculum, Key Stage 2 pupils (7-11 year olds) are expected to swim 25 metres unaided along with other things. This is unfair to those pupils that can’t swim due to developmental disorders such as dyspraxia and those with severe asthma.
The time and money spent on swimming lessons could be better spent on school equipment such as books and computers
So those kids get notes from their parents or doctors excusing them from participating in swimming lessons. Easy peasy. Why penalise every child in the school system?
The goverment is there to govern.a democracy relies on the goverment to govern fairly.It is unfair that possibly 5 million people smoke cannabis regularly and their views are not heard.smaller minorities havedone better.its time for the country to vote.As a democracy.long live the queen.
“Possibly” five million people? Where’s he pulling this figure from? Because I imagine it’s somewhere very dark and, occasionally, sticky. Bonus categorisation of “We’re British, Dammit!” for the rather gratuitous inclusion of “love live the queen” at the end of the petition, as if mentioning her will somehow sway the Government into agreeing with this petition.
Stop giving overseas aid and stop paying into the EU, whilst there is an emergency on. The EU only takes never gives back and we cannot afford to give to third world countries. I was giving to Africa when I was in school over 50 years ago they should be able to help themselves now
Yeah! Fuck you, Africa! You’re just being lazy!
Great Britain is in a unique position to stimulate the economy of our country at the stroke of a pen. As we are not into the euro,we can quite easily restore the true value of the good old British Pound to 240 old pence.This would be a step forward rather than back and would help every body,especially those in dire financial straits.We should cap all prices at their present level and impose strict price control.It would encourage a lot more companies to become more competitive.Those who can remember the switch over from 240 old pence to 100 new pence will have bitter memories how we were tricked into a devaluation of a massive 140% overnight and the unscrupulous traders who went laughing all the way to their banks.Thank you.
I don’t quite think DJ Reynolds is very good at Economics or laying down phat beats.
In this nation the Police are supposed to uphold the Law of the Land and stand as an example to all it’s citizens. The recent release of information showing that at least 1000 officers currently serving in police forces throughout England, Scotland and Wales have criminal records for, amongst others, Fraud, Perverting the Course of Justice, Drink Driving, Kerb Crawling and Assault, makes it clear that the officers we trust to police our streets are morally unfit for this duty.
How can a Police Officer, guilty of a dishonesty offence, be trusted to behave in a lawful and just manner? Any conviction on the record of Police Officer should result in immediate dismissal. After all if the Police can’t be trusted to abide by the law, why should we?
A criminal conviction can be anything, from public drunkenness to running a red light. You’re just being stupid.
In all seriousness: I remember having to debate in High School GCSE English. We had that annoying hypothetical scenario – a ship is sinking, there’s one lifeboat and it can only support six people, but you have to pick them from a list of twelve. One of the characters was an ex-convict who’d served time in prison and gone straight. Everybody else in my group was convinced that he should stay on the ship and die because he had a criminal past. I was the only person who suggested that he should be allowed a second chance, that he’d gone straight. It really pissed me off that everybody took one look at at his past and judged his entire character from there. Granted the guy wasn’t real, but all the same it’s an incredibly narrow-minded way of looking at the world.
The Union Jack has stood for 200 years, DON’T CHANGE IT NOW!
I didn’t know they were planning to.
Marriage is making a solemn vow by two people between man and God to live together till death. Therefore it should be for life. If a person knowingly marries another through deception, and it is found out that there was a hidden agenda and achieve British status however, long when it is discovered the status should be removed from the person and then deported.
I want to agree with you, but you appear to be under the impression that marriage now is exactly the same as it was in the 30s. God, whether you believe He exists or not, has bugger-all to do with marriage today. You plumb.
Ryde council tax UP 6%. Even though house prices have fallen?!
A reminder: The global economy is down the shitter. Try to have a little perspective, will you?
We ask that there be less rules to get a job. The requirements take too many months to go through before a position can be filled. Such as Social Work. This causes too many vacancies. Too much unemployment for those waiting to get a job. Too much burdon on benefits. Too much danger for unhelped clients who can only get agancy assistance. Barbara Ross – Social Scientist – Harmony Care Markets
Firstly, “less rules”? “burdon”? “agancy”? Where the ruddy Hell did you get your degree as a Social Scientist? Because if it’s the same place you learnt English, You may want to double-check their credentials.
Secondly, what rules? Last time I applied for a job, it was easy – I applied by sending a CV, went for an Interview, then hoped for the best. That’s more or less a three-step process, or a two-step process if you only count the ones that actually involve actual effort on your part.
In its time this store has been the back bone of the musicians and music lovers alike, the staff have been instrumental in creating and cultivating exciting events and concerts and must be kept open.Don’t let local independant record shops be pushed out by bigger shops just because its more financially viable! It shuts in February, don’t let that happen!
Clearly the locals think differently, otherwise they’d have shopped there more.
Many people are using the British freedom of demonstration to riot and loot. Many of these people have no loyalty to Britain and show this by flying foreign flags. To stop liberty’s being taken I suggest that anyone flying a foreign flag should face breach of the peace charges.
Fuck right off, will you?
The amount of serious homophobic bullying and abuse going on in our schools is out of order,
As a support member of stonewall I have heard the cases of young teens wanting to end their lives at such a young age due to the torment they get from other teens at school and teachers are not doing anything about this. The United nations has demanded something to be done about this issue last year.
its time for your government to protect these children and bring in tough messures to try and prevent this abuse going on
not only does it mentally scar them in later life but the effects on their education and well being is being is a serious issue and a call for action,
A noble suggestion, but short of giving every bully in the country a lobotomy there’s no way to actually stop bullying of any kind.
Or, basically, make England more like China.
In winter daylight is short and if a school finishes at 3:15 there is no time for the pupils to go out and relax with peers. In the summer it sometimes get really hot and pupils get restless and can’t consentrate from 3 o’clock onwards. Signing this petition will give school pupils a more comfertable day in school.
The top signature aptly sums up my thoughts on this one. I also question the age of the petitioner, so this get classified under “Young, Dumb, And Online”.
There have been some 80-odd petitions popping up during the course of the day, and I’ve hand-picked five of them I thought were particularly stupid. Let’s explore them together!
Intelligent Design should be given equal or more time over Un-intelligent Design in the class room. Perhaps we are able to acknowledge, finally, the swing away from ‘religion’ over the past few hundred years, not due to reason but in reaction to church abuses.
“Intelligent Design” is already taught in class rooms – as part of Religious Education. Where it belongs. Bonus points for referring to Evolution as “Un-intelligent Design”, though. Bet it took you ages to come up with that one.
It is apparent that the Goverment while in power has fail to properly an prudently manage the economy. This has severly effected UK citzens savings and pensions values for our future retirement. I believe it is only RIGHT & PROPER that ministers should forgo any Minsterial Pension rights they have been entitled to during their period of goverment failure.
Right. Because the current worldwide economic crisis is entirely down to this one man who has only been in power of one small damp island for a year and a half, as opposed to, say, a number of global factors which have been slowly developing over several years.
I was walking just outside Clapham Junction station on Saturday night, when I saw a young lady sobbing on the floor. It was clear to me that she was homeless and seeing so many happy people walking past her (including myself) hammered home just how dreadful she must have been feeling. Admittedly, I’m a “walk past and don’t make eye contact” person and performed the same tired old routine on Saturday night.
According to Crisis, there are approximately 700 people sleeping rough every night. That’s 700 people who, on Christmas day, will realise just how homeless they are when the Christmas Crackers start to crack above and around them.
There’s not much that one person can do to relieve the suffering of our “rough sleeping” homeless but I hope that those who can do something will do anything they can.
I can picture the scene now – ol’ Bob sees this huddled, crying homeless woman on the way home. He avoids making eye contact, but he cannot escape the haunting image of the woman, laying on the ground, lamenting. He racks his brain – how can he, One Man, make a difference? Then it hits him. He’ll ask the Prime Minister to help! Brilliant! I bet no-one’s thought of this before, he thinks as he excitedly types his petition out. And, when he’s done, he’s so satisfied that he’s made a positive contribution to society – maybe the single greatest contribution he will ever make – that he has a good, long wank to celebrate. And that’s the story of how Bobby Reid saved Christmas for the homeless people of N/A.
As a country we have already done our fair share for the environment. we need to stop pandering to the wimes of the tree hugging types these green taxes are just a rip-off the people of this country cannot afford!! we need all the help we can get to pull though this down turn/recession not more of these unfair taxes!!! vote now to put a stop to this E U based maddness
I can see tomorrow’s headlines now – “DEN BALDWIN DECLARES ENVIRONMENT FIXED!” You can stop recycling now, everybody.
The thought that there is no reward or real incentive for true British family values (traditional as it sounds) – one earner in the family, the other partner bringing up the children, loving and caring for the future of their children and the wider contribution that stable family environment promotes. I therefore suggest that in these cases the earning adult’s salary is divided by 2 and the current income tax bands/rates applied to these figures. In the case of a higher rate tax payer the potential would be to split into 2 standard rate tax incomes (granted up to a certain level) and therefore reduce the income tax paid. Both parents are “working” to better the economy.
Gordon Brown should be all over this idea, especially considered that, depending on what tax band the “two” salaries fall under, they could theoretically be drawing twice as much tax out of the family.
Make it illegal for ticket agencies to sell tickets unless they have said tickets in hand and are ready to post them or for ticket agencies to send out tickets in a timely fashion for example at least one calendar month prior to the gig. The reason that ticket agencies use for posting tickets out up to 48 hours before the actual event is to stop ticket touting – if the second hand ticket market really is something that the government wants to stop and not just pay lip service to then it should make hard arrests of all touts at all gigs, stop ebay from selling tickets and actively pursue through court action anybody court selling tickets on ebay.
This petition doesn’t seem to have anything to do with itself. Also: What about online ticket sellers such as TicketMaster who email a digital ticket that has to be printed out? You lemon.
We live in France pay our taxes in the UK but are not paid the winter fuel alowance because we live overseas. We have no option but to pay our taxes in the UK as my husband was emplyed by local authority. We still have to heat our home from our pension. Many people who live in EU countries who were paid winter fuel allowances before leaving the UK are still in receipt of the payment. Why because we live abroad are we exempt and discriminated against but have no option but to pay our taxes in the UK. There is over 55 million pounds unallocated fuel and insolation money in the UK Government coffers but we have no access to it. Mr Brown you are using our taxes but not being fair to us and many many others in the same situation.We ask you to change the governement policy to allow WFA payments for overseas residents.
“Hello, is that the Landlord of the small flat I’m renting but don’t currently live in because I own a house further up the road? Ah, hi there. Listen, the heating’s gone and I was wondering if–… No, not in the flat, no. The house. — Yes, the one up the road. — Well yes, I know you don’t have anything to do with that house but I was hoping you could send a plumber to… hello? Hello? He hung up!”
That all Elderly, In-firmed and Disabled People be given the right in “Law” to access Free Heating and subsidised Food for all on “Benefits”and “Pensions” during the “Winter” months and all “Cold” spells of weather.Futher, laws to protect same if person or person’s, family, public or public services are found wanting.
Call me young and naive, but I don’t understand the philosophy of “Old people deserve free things.” I mean, I get the point of free bus passes for OAPs and disabled people, but suddenly deciding that they deserve free energy, food, etc. seems somewhat silly to me. Maybe I’ll change my tune when I’m older (hint: I probably won’t), but right now it seems a little ridiculous to me.
We are paying an average of £25-£40 More on our shopping bills every week! It is not fare that we are being Ripped off! When fuel started to rise, Food prices did also immediately every week, But now fuel has come down the food prices have stayed the same! I know, I do the shopping. Mr Brown why are they getting away with Ripping us off? You would be helping all families in GB, Don’t you think it would be a big vote winner if you did this? I can’t keep affording 72p for a loaf of bread, that only cost 39p at the start of the summer! Please help us.
Mr Hull (who I always thought had died a few years ago when he fell off his roof trying to adjust his TV aerial) does not seem to understand the current economic crisis that has befallen the entire bloody world.
As every single person in our country knows, millions of people are out of work, and, therfore, are looking for a job to generate income. However, one thing that is being over-looked is the number of migrant workers coming into our country, and taking the jobs that British citizens want and need
In my experience, the immigrants coming over from mainland Europe are only doing the jobs that no other bugger seems to be prepared to do. If we tell these people that they can’t do these jobs anymore, then the jobs won’t be filled at anywhere near the rate that they have been, meaning that jobs in factories, on building sites, and so forth go unfilled and consequently the entire country suffers.
But, hey, never mind that, You just sit there in your Favourite Chair reading that article in the Daily Mail about how British Jobs are quite clearly being Stolen by Pablo the Polishman. Clearly.
A accurate count is made and up dated to how many English are killed in England by being denied drugs and treatment which are available in Scotland for the Scottish.
The object of this is to find out who are the real enemies of the English. The Scottish prime minister and his Scottish chancellor or the extremist.
Do you think maybe we should invade?
I believe that Giles Clarke has by his actions brought English Cricket into disrepute, by allowing the England Cricket Team to take part in a game soley for monetary gain rather than seeking to develop and further advance our great game. Giles Clarke should seek to act as a guardian of the game, yet has allowed an individual to blatantly purchase our national team and has showed contempt and disregard for the rules of our great game. For this alone the Government should intervene and protect our national game from potential irreprable damage.
Nice to see one that isn’t about the football.
This petition is for people who think the BBC are in need of a long awaited cleanup the latest but not isolated of incidents by all those who thought it was a great idea to broadcast such derogatory material involving 4 humiliating telephone calls to an 89 year old pensioner and for all future incidents in the hope that all can listen and watch in view of the fact the majority are licence payers. The BBC do not have a petion page but you can voice a complaint to the BBC Trust.
You want to abolish Britain? What would we have instead? More France?
Why is it that when any other country is facing difficulties we send our hard earned taxes to bail them out.If we suffer hard times the government should help us first. Typical example £42 million pounds is now being sent to the congo,what about the people over here that are on the bread line,CHARITY BEGINS AT HOME.At this present time due to the recession people are losing their jobs and their homes,plus we have to deal with the fact of increased prices of food,gas,electricity and petrol.Further to this immigration is out of control,quite a few are not employed or illegal causing a drain on our countries resources
The life expectancy in DR Congo is less than fifty years and you think that petrol being rather expensive somehow absolves any obligation you may have to help out? How petty are you?
It was annouced BBC News that MSN/Hotmail was to close down due to a young girl of 8 being tricked into meeting a 34 year old pedoephile. This is not MSN/Hotmails fault. It is the LAW’S fault as the pedoephile is known. This is also at the fault of the little girls parents who have given her permission to create an account on the MSN/Hotmail site, but it is in there terms and condition that applicant must be over a certain age. Labour MP’s must have realised this and this is not the companies fault. it is the laws and the parents of the YOUNG child.
please reconcider.
If the BBC were really reporting this, and if this was really happening, and if it was actually government business, then clearly it would be US government business. Possibly McCabe can’t tell the difference between Britain and America. If so, it would half-explain why McCabe can’t spell ‘paedophile’.
To ‘earn’ is an adjective. BBC employees are ‘paid’ regardless of the levels of achievement, or criminal activity which results in the BBC Licence Taxpayer being required to pay their fines, therefore to say they ‘earn’ what they are paid is a gross misrepresentation of what is actually going on.
Your point about semantics would be taken more seriously if you knew what the verb ‘to adjective’ means.
Jasbir has lost his lines, Please ask him to FIND THEM!
Ask your mother.
I like my eyes with all their natural layers, they should not be burnt off by these stupid lights
What do you care? You’re blind.
The new and dis-improved recipe is a different cereal altogether. Both the taste and the texture have been changed beyond recognition
If anyone else feels strongly about this you should write to Weetabix at:
Consumer Services
Weetabix Limited
Burton Latimer
Kettering
Northamptonshire
NN15 5JR
England
…rather than bothering the PM with it.
A petition the government play Metallica’s One to all Intensive Care patients. This will allow them to gain insight into their condition and make informed decisions.
Careful. I read in the Mail how heavy metal in medical intervention causes the autism.
It is immoral that council taxpayers should have to pay twice when people they entrust with looking after their council taxpayer pounds get it wrong. There MUST be some accountability and responsibility among our councillors and the people they pay to give them advice, when it goes wrong.
Another winning idea from our friend Keith Jones. So that must mean that whenever the government makes a shrewd investment, ministers will get to tax you for the original large amount of money they needed and pocket the difference, yes?
Anything else you want, Keith?
Shit, we’d best stop messing with you.