Posted by Ben @ August 16th, 2011 10:18 pm. Filed under: Abolish This!,Anything I Want Is A Human Right,Anything I Want Should Be Legal,Are You Kidding? We Can't Afford That!,Clearly You've Thought This Through,Hanging's Too Good For 'Em!,It Says So In The Daily Mail,Join the Fight Against Nebulous Bad-Sounding Things!,Nobody Else Deserves Free Money!,Really REALLY Bad Ideas,Stop Spending My Money On Things I Don't Understand.,These Kids Today With Their Modern Haircuts And Hippetty-Hop Music,Unworkable Ideas,What Have Other People Ever Done For Me?,Work Around My Delusions Dammit!,Xenophobia — Tags: Alan Young, David Moss, mark predeth, Peter Stephen Andrews —
Time for a short collection of lunacy. Where shall we begin? Oh yes, with the person who wants to be able to bludgeon unwanted house guests to death with a roaring oar:
by Alan YoungThe law regarding self-defence should be altered to make explicit that a householder is entitled to use any and all measures against an unlawful intruder within their home without fear of prosecution or any requirement to demonstrate proportionality or ‘reasonableness’ of response.
I am inexplicably reminded of a bit from Terry Pratchett’s “Hogfather” (I’ll quote from the TV version, here):
Lord Downey: You nailed Sir George’s dog to the ceiling.
Teatime: I couldn’t have it barking while I was working, sir.
Lord Downey: Some people would have drugged it.
Teatime: Oh! But I definitely fulfilled the contract. I checked Sir George’s breathing with a mirror, as instructed.
Lord Downey: Apparently his head was several feet from his body at that point.
Teatime: That was all right, wasn’t it, sir?
Lord Downey: It lacked elegance.
Right, what else have we got?
by mark predethWe the undersigned call on the government to restrict immigration to the United kingdom to a fixed numer of 50000 people per year and no more
Why?
by Peter Stephen AndrewsI would like the death penalty brought back. I’m sick of soft sentencing. I’m sick of criminals scoffing in the face of the law, our country and communities!
Wrongful convictions though, eh? Rather difficult to pardon someone you’ve just injected with poison, isn’t it? That is to say nothing of this very valid point.
by David MossThe government needs to stop paying people child associated benefits once they have had two children. Not only do more tax credits have to be paid, more child benefits but also housing benefits, NHS costs for birth and through life, education costs etc etc. Stopping benefits after 2 children will make people think more carefully about having large families and their huge tangible and intangible burden on the state. They will no longer be incentivised to have a lot of children, get more benefits and never work. More worringly this culture is passed onto the children and they adopt the same approach until it becomes totally unsustainable.
“Sorry Susan, but as your father and I just lost our jobs and the government will only pay child support for two of our children I’m afraid you’ll simply have to starve to death.”
Posted by Andrew @ March 31st, 2011 10:43 am. Filed under: Nobody Else Deserves Free Money!,There's Only One Form So It Must Be The Right One — Tags: Sally Metcalfe —
So the Government, showing the same approach to running the country as small children do to large projects, have ditched their latest crowd-sourcing initiative — was it ‘your freedom’ or ‘spending challenge’ or some such? — and launched a new one. And, as per their characteristic extravagant form of austerity, they stubbornly refuse to just pick a backend and run with it, so the “Cabinet Office Innovation Launch Pad” is powered by something called ‘spigit’.
Anyway, as with all the other ones since the ePetition site closed, this new one is focussed on only one goal, in this case as a way for companies to pitch business ideas they think will help the government save money. Sort of like a public-sector Dragons’ Den. But as we all know, the British public won’t sit by and let some nanny-state website apparatchik dictate to them what they can and can not submit, so they have simply phrased their petitions in the form of a business pitch and got on with the job of vomiting reactionary nonsense into their computers:
by Sally Metcalfe
31/03/2011 08:36 AM GMTWe all know that the UK has a reputation for being “easy to get benefits” and many Governments would like to change/reform it. I believe that people claiming Jobseekers Allowance should be required to undertake voluntary work in order to qualify to get the benefits. The type of voluntary work projects which could be arranged are limitless, with countless charities and PUBLIC SERVICES that need help. Not only would it give unemployed a sense of self-worth, but they could gain valuable skills and references to enable them to gain meaningful employment.You wouldnt need a heirarchy of Managers to operate the scheme,just the Managers of charities/services to confirm attendance, commit to support the individual. The benefits to public services could be endless, beach cleaners, groundsmen, painters and decorators, assistance for the elderly, social support services, teaching assistants…..the list is endless and could save the public purse hugely.
Just an idea!
Yep, you’re onto a winner when you’ve contradicted yourself two words in. It’s voluntary, except that you have to do it and you get paid. You have invented jobs. Congratulations.