Posted by Andrew @ March 10th, 2010 10:01 pm. Filed under: Anything that passes the spellchecker must be what I meant,Gibberish,Really Epic Duplicate Petitions,Rejected Petitions,spelin an grammer — Tags: Johanna Yohara Robby —
by Johanna Yohara Robby of Piano World (rejected)In Southwark and Lambeth constituecies we are questioning the rules and ownership of Grand / Upright Pianos in public spaces as churches, pubs schools and halls in Southwark and Lambeth that are not beign used at all in any activity specialy concerts, recitals, marathons, lessons, choir -song accompaiment.
Owners of public spaces with an Upright or Grand Piano will consequently find performers willing to perform and able to accept commissions and so they will be compelled to feature a proportion of standard repertoire.
The Owners may be inviting the audience to engage with Piano activities. Promoters / Publishers must be taken in association with the Piano owners and the Piano performers. We have established that the direct costs to a performer of preparing a new repertory is very considerable, in some cases astronomical, while performances of serious contemporary works are few in comparison to performances overall. Generally Piano Concert will have four categories of performances. Ones in whom they believe in absolutely for the quality of their work, even knowing that they will become commercially or contemplative
Posted here:
Posted by Ben @ January 12th, 2010 7:24 am. Filed under: Duplicate Petitions,Invading The Animal Kingdom,My Other Car Is Another Car,Really Epic Duplicate Petitions — Tags: Tobias Haynes —
Can you tell the difference between this petition…:
by Tobias HaynesThis is a petition to limit cars to 70 MPH; Why are cars made capable to do high speeds reaching 120MPH etc when our laws clearly state 70MPH is the Maximum possible throughout the country?
Lorries and other vehicles are limited and forced to obey limits… Long gone are the days where nothing could be done…Technology makes limiting cars possible. A nut and bolt is all it takes. A minimum cost saving countless lives, freeing up our hospitals from constant RTA’s and a mass reduction in motorway Road Rage, tailgating and “Motorway Bullying”. People are afraid to use our motorways. Cars are constantly dangerously driving on our motorways being continuous hazards and nothing is being done! In 2008 49% of Cars exceeded the 70MPH speed limit-15% travelling above 80MPH! This is unacceptable! Our government must take account of this and something must be done! It is a simple matter simply resolved!
Car insurance costs would decrease, “boy racers” and speeders would decline (if not disappear!), new statutory offences could be created making offences for attempting to remove limiters or driving without a limiter etc.
Please sign and make a difference- Make our roads safer!
Thank You
…and this petition:
by Tobias HaynesThis is a petition to limit cars to 70 MPH; Why are cars made capable to do high speeds reaching 120MPH etc when our laws clearly state 70MPH is the Maximum possible throughout the country?
Lorries and other vehicles are limited and forced to obey limits… Long gone are the days where nothing could be done…Technology makes limiting cars possible. A nut and bolt is all it takes. A minimum cost saving countless lives, freeing up our hospitals from constant RTA’s and a mass reduction in motorway Road Rage, tailgating and “Motorway Bullying”. People are afraid to use our motorways. Cars are constantly dangerously driving on our motorways being continuous hazards and nothing is being done! In 2008 49% of Cars exceeded the 70MPH speed limit-15% travelling above 80MPH! This is unacceptable! Our government must take account of this and something must be done! It is a simple matter simply resolved!
Car insurance costs would decrease, “boy racers” and speeders would decline (if not disappear!), new statutory offences could be created making offences for attempting to remove limiters or driving without a limiter etc.
Please sign and make a difference- Make our roads safer!
Thank You
Posted by Ben @ November 28th, 2009 12:15 am. Filed under: Duplicate Petitions,Invading The Animal Kingdom,Really Epic Duplicate Petitions,There's Already A Solution But Don't Let That Stop You From Bothering The PM,This Is The Worst Kind Of Discrimination! The Kind Against Me!,Won't Somebody Please Think Of The Children? — Tags: Cathy Connor —
Remember Cathy Connor’s petition to prevent landlords from “discriminating against children”? Well apparently she sent it twice as today the ePetition admin team, in their endless, bounteous wisdom, authorised another, identical petition. It has one minor difference from the one we shared yesterday – an additional “s” in the URL. Genius.
Posted by Ben @ October 20th, 2009 7:39 pm. Filed under: "Making Britain Great Again",Duplicate Petitions,My Head Asplode,Really Epic Duplicate Petitions,These Kids Today With Their Modern Haircuts And Hippetty-Hop Music,We're British, Dammit!,You and What Army? — Tags: Mr Justin Lane —
by Mr Justin LaneYoung people need pride in themselves, respect for their community and country, and need to prove their worth to society.
I propose that school leavers are to be made to choose either National Service or Education (university degree or NVQ in full-time employment).
Education cannot be used as an easy ride and I propose the following solution to combat this:-
If education is chosen and a level of commitment is not being maintained (poor performance) or the level of qualification (degree or employment and NVQ) is not attained by their 22nd birthday then National Service will have to be taken at double the duration had they not taken the education route and elected for National Service in the first instance.

Posted by Ben @ September 9th, 2009 4:42 pm. Filed under: Anything I Want Should Be Mandatory,Duplicate Petitions,I'm serious!,Invading The Animal Kingdom,Really Epic Duplicate Petitions,Really REALLY Bad Ideas,Unreasonable Demands,Work Around My Delusions Dammit!,You Know - We Haven't Banned Anything Lately. — Tags: Julie Kennedy —
Julie Kennedy feels so strongly about dogs on leashes that she’s posted not one but two petitions on the matter:
Keeping dogs on leads is cruel. Puppies need to run about to enable their bone structure to develop. Every dog expert say that you must let your dog off a lead to release the excess energy that they have. The law is that a dog should be on leash or controlled by voice, this is a fair and perfectly good law. An unexercised dog can become destructive and nasty. To not let a dog of lead is irresponsible.
Allow dogs off leash and in public parks. Parents with dogs want to take both child and dog in the park. Children like to play with their dogs and where is better in a park or some dark distant out of sight forest.
Hang on, you’ve dithered from “never keep dogs on leashes” to “let dogs off leashes once in a while”. Y’know what’s more irresponsible, though? Letting your fucking dog run off on its own to piss, bark and gnaw on whatever and whoever it wants.
Posted by Ben @ April 22nd, 2009 1:12 pm. Filed under: Invading The Animal Kingdom,Lies Damn Lies And Nonsense Statistics,Not Government Business,Really Epic Duplicate Petitions,Stand Back! I'm Going To Try SCIENCE! — Tags: Kalvis M. Jansons —
How on Earth did this petition get approved?
There are many reasons why we might want Brown to resign, but rather than having lots of narrow petitions on this topic (most of which have been rejected), I wanted one for all of us.
There are quite probably hundreds of petitions, most of which have been rejected, all asking the Prime Minister to resign. How on Earth did this one get approved?
Oh well. Now that’s out of the way hopefully we can move on to some sensibly crazy petitions.
Or not.
Albert Einstein once said that if bees disappeared, man would have only four years of life
Honey bees are now really struggling to survive with many colonies dying out. Although the Government is giving some funding to the National Bee Unit, why on earth is VAT charged on beekeeping equipment?
If anything, a grant should be given to encourage more people to keep bees.
Yeah, no, I’ve always wanted to get into beekeeping, but the extortionate price of the equipment has always been a barrier for me.
According to the UK government and media, climate change is melting the north pole ice. The truth is it is actually growing so this appears to contradict the assertion that climate change is a reality.
We call upon Gordon Brown to explain why he insists climate change is a reality in the face of this evidence to the contrary.
I don’t see why the Prime Minister should be forced to end a debate that’s been raging on in the scientific community for decades. How is that his job?
Posted by Ben @ March 16th, 2009 8:10 pm. Filed under: Anything I Want Should Be Free,I AM TALKING!,I Am A Brain!,Only joking!,Really Epic Duplicate Petitions,Unintentional Irony,We Don't Take Kindly To Your Type Rahnd These Pahts,Xenophobia,Young, Dumb, And Online — Tags: Ann Wright, Michael Bruce McIntyre of England and Saint George, Wayne Rees —
Food is an essential commodity for every one, and as such should not be subjected to VAT, people are entitled to eat well– many people are becoming unemployed, many loosing their incomes and their homes, families are finding daily life increasingly more difficult, taxing food is counterproductive to a person’s survival.
Oh Glod, this petition is my fault, isn’t it? It was only two weeks ago that I was looking at the logical extension of the concept of removing VAT from pain relief and toothpaste, and now here we are looking at a petition that hopes to tick the second item off of my hypothetical analysis off the list. I can only apologise.
we, as mods, feel our way of life is being hindered by the unfair and provocative costs. we,as mods, demand a fairer deal. and the reintroduction of wigan pier as an all night mod club
How the Hell did this petition even get approved? It’s very clearly a joke.
Why do the foreigners when they come to the Uk to migrate from the eastern european countries looking for work refuse to speak any English.
The UK Govermant SHOULD be made to make every person who is entering this country, That they learn english or can speak it good before they apply for residency.
They should learn it as us BRITISH PEOPLE when we migrate to another country learn it to fit in with the populas.
Were I a mythical creature that feeds on irony, this petition would keep my appetite sated for the better part of a week.
We feel that patients in England with chronic illnesses are being treated unfairly as they still have to pay in full for their prescriptions.
We cannot understand why patients who have a chronic illness such as Ulcerative colitis, Crohn’s and Asthma, just to name a few, are still having to pay for their prescriptions.
Many patients are having to make choices between paying for the basic requirements in life and paying for their prescriptions. The quality of life for many patients would be greatly improved if they could collect all the prescriptions prescribed for them.
Since April 2007 all patients in Wales have been entitled to free prescription and in Scotland patients irrespective of whether the patients have a chronic illness or not are paying for their prescriptions at a reduced rate on a sliding scale until 2011-2012 when they will become free is this just?
How is it unfair treatment if you’re being charged the same price for prescriptions as everybody else? It’d be unfair if the chronically ill got their prescriptions for free, that’s what’d be unfair.
The goverment is saying you are to young to smoke or drink at 18 but still want your vote there by saying you are not educated enough to know what is good for you But you are educated enough to know who is the best party to run the goverment of this country If you think 18 should be old enough to smoke/drink and vote then sign this petition.
I’m going to give Mrs C Webster the benefit of the doubt and assume she has a broken keyboard.
Any assialum seeker or immigrant who obviously hates us so much has to have the privalage of being allowed to remain in the U.K. revoked. It is time that the human rights of the majority was considered before that of these people, and they have to be deported no matter what threats they CLAIM to be under. The british public has been very patient but that is now wearing very thin. We now read that 90% of immigrants refused permission are allowed to stay, while many are no doubt good people we are FULL. G.Reid
I’m also going to give Mr. Reid the benefit of the doubt and assume that “assialum” is some kind of rare hypothetical element that can only be found in the UK, and tons of scientific types are coming here looking for it. Or something.
Stop any further immigration into the UK for a period of 10 years to allow the backlog of illegals & asylam seekers to be resolved.
Yes, that’ll solve all our problems. I love it when racist, xenophobic pricks like M B McIntyre try to come up with fancy, almost-logical reasons to keep immigrants out. It’s like when Proposition 8 was up for the vote in California. All of the pro-Prop8 people were saying, “Oh, don’t worry. It’s only going to make gay marriage illegal from the day it’s brought in. We won’t touch the people who are already married, honest!” – and then once Prop 8 was unfortunately passed they started filing proceedings to have all of the gay married couples legally divorced.
Fuckers.
For too long food companies have hidden behind the current law which requires a disclaimer if certain products are used.For example we have all seen “may contain nuts” or “may contain milk or eggs” either something is in there or it is not, this loophole must be closed. if it means the food companies have to introduce more stringent quality control then make it so.
I bet Wayne Rees is one of those guys who says, “I can’t have done anything wrong, it must be the computer’s fault!”
Posted by Ben @ March 2nd, 2009 9:24 pm. Filed under: Duplicate Petitions,I Petition The Government To Your Name Here,Really Epic Duplicate Petitions,What A Load Of Bankers,What's a Local Council?,Won't Somebody Please Think Of The Children?,Young, Dumb, And Online,spelin an grammer — Tags: Dee Murrell —
We’ve been a bit quiet the last few days. It’s partially because I’ve been busy plugging the first Jump Leads book, currently available to buy from Amazon worldwide. No idea what Andrew’s up to, though. He’s probably grinding some teeth (not his) into a fine powder and then testing them on… oh, I don’t know, Hobos or something.
Anyway, let’s get on with whatever it is this blog’s supposed to do. Don’t we post funny pictures of cats with captions or something?
Inroduce a five per cent (5%) pay cut on the 500,000 plus members of the Home Civil Service. Thereby setting an example to the rest of the country. This small cut would save the taxpayers a minimum of £500,000,000.00 pounds a year.
I’m not entirely sure why Mike is making this request, but the second signature on this one is fantastic.
Instead of all the parties wasting precious time and energy on scoring political points against each other – why not set up a coalition government (or at least all work together) so that all the best expertise can pull together; beat this recession and get the country back on its feet and help the people! Arguing between parties does not solve the problem – whereas all working together just might!
Great idea, but you’re petitioning the wrong country’s government, I think.
Oh look, Dee Murrell is back.
The preventable deaths of Baby P & all like him are a clear indictment of Britain’s failure to protect vulnerable children & too frequent over-lenient sentences for child abuse & related deaths convey that as a nation we tolerate such abuse & murder.
Effective measures need to be adopted to recognise & tackle child abuse at its earliest stages. Lord Laming’s recommendations excluded how Social Workers could better perform their jobs on the front line when visiting children at risk, where improvements & clear nationwide guidelines are urgently needed!
The ongoing abuse of a child culminating in their death is far worse than outright murder. So all child abuse related deaths should carry a discretionary life sentence & all participants are equally responsible regardless of who did the abuse & who allowed the abuse to go on unchallenged.
As a nation we wish to say that we will no longer tolerate these heinous crimes against our youngest & most vulnerable.
*Abuse includes neglect
Thanks for the footnote there, Dee. Really helpful. Also, haven’t you petitioned for this about seventy times already?
If banks are contractually obliged to pay exorbitant bonuses with money given to them by the taxpayers, then the Government should claim it back through the tax system, because, as everyone knows, bankers do not deserve to receive any money for their greed and incompetence.
Janet Holbrook there, reminding us that all bankers everywhere are evil – always have been and always will be.
I feel it is moraly wrong that vat is put onto common pain relief tablets, cold relief medicines, childrens pain relief, ie:Calpol. These medicines are readily available and give great relief to many people with everyday pains such as toothache, migraine, period pain, infants teething pain, keeping temperature down. Often after a visit to the doctor he may subscribe anti biotics but also suggest pain relief medicine that people have to buy. Also, vat is on ordinary everyday toothpaste, keeping clean teeth is important for good health, (can cause more serious problems within the body). Also vat on sanitary towels is not right, these things are not luxury goods but essentials. Transfer the vat to real luxury goods such as alcohol
Am I responsible for this petition? Indeed, when Marco van Beek suggested removing VAT from safety equipment I took it further using his own logic to include hygene products. Now it seems Janice has taken that to heart. Right then, let’s go ahead and try to stretch this out to its logical conclusion.
Aaaaand now the Government is broke. Nicely done, Marco and Janice!
Please encourage the powers that be to provide an Ice Rink for the people of Exeter – our museum is closed and there is not much for us kids to do! from Mark – aged 14
I am shocked, SHOCKED that there is a child in this day and age who is disappointed in the closure of a museum. Also, shouldn’t you be asking your Local Council, Mark?
CREATE A NEW ENGLISH COIN TO HONOUR ST GEORGE
And another one to honour Doctor Who, who has bravely saved our great nation from Daleks, Cybermen, Yeti, Gelth, the Wire, Autons, and many other beasties.
It’s a well known phrase among bikers… “Bikers Make Safer Drivers”. We would like to see the DVLA require all learner drivers to first pass the theory and road tests on a motorcycle or moped under 125cc. The theory test could be combined to cover both bike and car licenses, saving time and money, but the learner should be required to pass the bike/moped road test before being allowed in a car.
We believe that this approach would increase the threat and speed awareness of new drivers, and should have a tangible impact on the associated accident and fatality rates. We also think that it might help car drivers more aware of motorcyclists, a more practical solution than running television or radio advertising.
Mr Prime Minister, please do not back away from making the roads safer, even at political cost, it’s not worth people’s lives! This does not have to cost the government much time or money at all, it just needs political will. There will always be detractors, especially those who are scared of motorcycles. Let’s not let fear stand in the way of saving lives!
It’s a well-known phrase among bikers because bikers are bikers. They bike regularly, which is what helps them develop a better sense of road awareness. Requiring someone to learn how to ride a bike, and then force them to ride that bike well on one occasion only, isn’t going to instantly make every new driver in the UK safer by default. That’s just bollocks.
Posted by Andrew @ February 14th, 2009 11:00 am. Filed under: Anything I Want Should Be Free,Really Epic Duplicate Petitions,Rejected Petitions,Sorry, What Was I Talking About?,This Is What We're Outraged At This Week,What A Load Of Bankers,spelin an grammer —
Okay. First, the Credit Crunch. Correct me if I’m wrong, but in a nutshell I’d say it goes like this: bankers found that lending money was very profitable so they did it as much as possible even when it clearly wasn’t a very good idea and that was fine for a while but they couldn’t outrun it forever and now they lend only when it seems sensible and the government gave them a big pile of money because if all the banks collapse then everyone is fucked. Something like that, right? Only most of the petition site thinks the bailout money is there for the banks to recklessly lend to cretins:
Get the Banks to stop the arrogance and start releasing tax payers money to the tax payer and their employers. The company I work for has been brought to its knees by the simple fact that the Banks are unwilling to lend money so that firms, like the one I work for can progress. Since October, when this started, they have laid off 20% of the work force. Previous to this the Company was booming. You can point the finger at one institution – the Banks of this country. HELP NOW before its too late. Gordon Brown, the man partly responsible for the biggest ressession in living memory.
Possibly I’m just missing something; it’s happened before. Maybe the banks were meant to lend out this bailout money. What I need is for someone to explain it to me in simple terms.
It’s simple really, in light of the current economic situation we think it’s about time the government stepped in to help the people, small businesses and anyone else who is finding survival a struggle right now. We bailed out the banks recently and are paying for it in a number of ways. We need to see the banks lending again. If this does not happen then we are in trouble. Since the banks aren’t doing this out of their own concern for the welfare of the economy we think it’s time Mr Brown stepped in to stop this financial triage.
No, I still think I’m right. Possibly I’ve just massively missed the point of ecomomics. I mean, as far is I can tell the only difference between Credit Crunch and Normal Times is that in Credit Crunch we’re only allowed to spend money we own, which is basically what I tried to do anyway. I thought that was the point of money.
This one is scary but mysterious. This one appears twice, but comes with a free mental image of the Queen in a blender. This one is funny purely because of a mistake which reverses the petition’s aims. This one is a duplicate of this other one:
The undersigned believe bendy buses should be made to make accordian noises when going round cxorners. This follows a popular campaign on social networking site ‘facebook’, we believe this would greatly benefit the community and increase the popularity of bendy buses. Road rage would also be hilarious
This person has lost at Monopoly once too often:
This one is a bit scary:
The PM must wait by the mailbox at 6PM on March 1st. He knows why. A man will call him on his mobile phone- the PM must refer to him as ‘Joe’. Instructions will come then.
Presumably it’s a joke, though. This one I’m less sure about:
I feel that giving free sweets to the general public on Fridays would increase their working concentration and enjoyment in the workplace. Spirits would be lifted and everyone would be generally happier, causing them to work more enjoyably and perform better. This would, in turn, improve productivity and performance, resulting in an increased level of economic activity in the UK and hastening the end of the credit crunch. Ta-dah!
Here is yet another petition demanding that Facebook groups they disagree with be banned. We may need a category for that. And now, in reverse order: the biggest twats in the world:
3. Jeremy Clarkson
2. People who jokingly say Jeremy Clarkson should be PM.
1. People who call him ‘Jezza’.
Jezza is the greatest – making him PM would be great – no more car tax, bendy buses, highly priced fuel (well, possible diesel) or stupid extra government money gaining taxes to do with anything.
Well, I mean obviously Anne Widdecombe is worse than most of those people, but only really because she has more power. This next one, I think, would be better off just asking for the county lines to be moved. It would seem to save a lot of work.
lowestoft would benefit threw administrive power, money, Waveney District council are in debt yet they want to build a campas however they recentley laid workers beacause of the debt. gorlston left suffolk and went to norfolk not that long ago lowestoft should do the same. suffolk countey council is the reason why lowestoft does not have a third crossing however great yarmouth needs one to but are more likeley to get one beacuse they are in norfolk and the goverement pump money into great yarmouth why do you think it has more retail parks than lowestoft. lowestoft is with g yarmouth for 1st east regeneration g yarmouth has a outer harbour being built nothing has happened to lowestoft. by combining the lowestoft and great yarmouth it will nearley have the population of norwich. norwich is still east anglias capital city and its in norfolk. suffolk has ipswich but its a town.
This one I share purely for its confusing the word ‘ludicrous’ with the rapper ‘Ludacris’. I love those petitions. They’re rare but beautiful.
This pertition is to ALLOW MARCHES ON PARLIAMENT because it’s ludacris that they have made it a illegal to do so. It was made illegal just because the metropolitan police had to short notice. It’s our RIGHT if we choose to march on parliament it’s our free will to do so. Our civil liberties are being eroded what will it be next just because someone doesn’t like what your saying you will not be allowed to say it next. THERE IS NO FREEDOM OF SPEECH IN THIS COUNTRY. ALLOW MARCHES ON PARLIAMENT
Meanwhile, Anna Ioannou, while selfishly hoarding all the vowels, is so confident that everyone supports her ideas that she’s going to lump them all into one giant petition with one stupid URL. And that might work if she wasn’t demonstrably a slathering cretin who thinks that anyone who breaks the slightest law must be inherently evil somehow:
we would like the government to end the pampering of criminals, stop using our money to give some criminals a new identity when they are released, make the prisons harder, we want the prisons to be as they should be, no television, computer games, cd’s etc, we want zero tollerance on crime, we want tougher sentences so crime does not pay, life to mean life.we want back our freedom of speech. we want the government to stop pandering to political correctness.
we want to bring back national service and send first time offenders to army style boot camp. we want the government to stop telling us what we should eat, what we should buy, not to smoke and not to drink, we can make our own decisions based on the infomation provided.
And now it’s time for The Conflict In Gaza. Again, I may have got this wrong, but here is how I understand the situation: the history is really complicated but the problem boils down to the fact that everyone in the Middle East is forced to join at least one violent and insane cult all of which want all the others, and any countries forced to support them, wiped out in as bloody a massacre as possible despite the fact that they all agree on basically nearly everything, because the only significant effect religion has on the world is to turn otherwise only mildly disagreeable people into utter cunts and murderers. So now Israel have neighbours who keep firing rockets at them but can’t respond because they’re so much bigger and anything they do seems like an over-reaction, and Gaza can’t do anything right either because their democratically elected government is a known terrorist group. Nobody can broker peace because it’s hard to negotiate a demand like ‘we want everyone else killed’ and the war can’t be won and if it was then frankly the idea of one supercult is even scarier than the million warring factions we have now. Something like that. But there may be a solution:
We the undersigned abhor and condemn Israel’s military aggression. We believe that banning Israel from Eurovison this year would, because of its trivial nature and huge audience reach, be taken more seriously by Israel than any academic boycott or demonstration, however shrill.
Of all Israeli exports, its pop music is the easiest to boycott as nobody cares whether they hear it or not. And don’t say we’re not being even-handed. We can’t call for Palestine to be evicted. Palestinians aren’t allowed to take part in Eurovision. Even though they live right next to Israel. Which let’s face it is actually in the Middle East. Not Europe.
No hang on, that wasn’t the one I meant to post…
As the Israeli government get ready to hit the 1000 dead Palestinians mark without criticism from Gordon Brown, will the PM let us know what more the IDF can do to elicit even a slither of criticism from Britain?
No, look, we’ve been over this. Your title should be a clear call to arms, starting in a verb. Watch a master at work:
i want israel to stop bombing civialian and stoped the war as soon as possibal
See? That’s all we have to do. We just have to stoped the war as soon as possibal. Why didn’t everyone think of that sooner?
So now that that’s sorted, let’s turn our attention to problems at home:
We togeather can ban this, ‘chavy’ and ‘boy racer’ type car so we will finally be safe on the roads of the UK,
Instead of driving along and hearing the ridiculus ‘Boom’ of the sub and the ‘Borm and screaming of the 1.1 litre engine. This will benift all of the genaral public as this may reduce tyre prices as the owners will stop ‘Pointlessly’ wheel spinning there cereal toys.
Oh, apparently we don’t have any. I’m intrigued by the idea that reducing demand will reduce prices. Also, I’ve noticed that ‘criminals’ and ‘robbers’ go to jail, so logically if we ban jail the problem will go away.
Did you know that the Girl Guides keep a list of people who are members of the Girl Guides?
Girlguiding – Rainbows, Brownies & Guides is building a national database of all the girls in the units. This database will contain the details of thousands of girls in the UK, such as age, parents names, telephone numbers, email, race, ethic groups etc.
Whilst Girlguiding maintains this information is "safe" we have grave concerns how a voluntary organisation like Guiding going to ensure total security.
Once this information is leaked or lost into the public domain ALL the girls are at risk . This is precisely why many people have the same concerns over the governments intended contactpoint children’s database. Indeed the conservatives have promised to scrap this database as itis a high risk.
The Deloitte report about the ContactPoint database. stated "It should be noted that risk can only be managed, not eliminated, and therefore there will always be a risk of data security incidents occurring"
If we have serious concerns over the ContactPoint database then we should not allow a voluntary organisation to do the same with fewer controls.
The repercussions of information falling into the wrong hands could be extremely dangerous
I know, shocking, isn’t it?
Proposals are suggested that inmates of Guantanamo Bay should be housed in our over stretched infrastructure.
We the undersigned refuse this outragous suggestion on an already over populated Island.
Far be it to suggest that you’re actually more angry about the idea of immigrants living here than terrorists, but…
(rejected)
Keep imigrants out for good! KEEP BRITAIN BRITISH!
Coming over here, not even learning the language enough to spell the word ‘immigrant’ correctly in a petition to the government about immigrants…
Lastly,here is one of about five petitions about Graham Stringer posted in the last week:
Recently, Graham Stringer MP has made comments where he claims dyslexia is a myth. This is clearly not true. There are several people in the UK living with dyslexia today, and for them day-to-day life is very hard. He is lying, as according to the British Dyslexic Association, 10% of his constituents suffer from the condition. The condition is not ‘cruel fiction’, and should not be consigned to the ‘dustbin of history’. As you can clearly see, Graham Stringer MP is making clearly false statements, and should be removed from his MP seat as soon as possible.
I am beginning to suspect there exists a variant of dyslexia which causes the sufferer to be staggeringly ignorant of Parliamentary procedure.
Posted by Andrew @ December 23rd, 2008 9:01 am. Filed under: Couldn't If He Wanted To,Don't Worry About What THEY Want,Gibberish,Really Epic Duplicate Petitions,Rejected Petitions,Unreasonable Demands,We Have To Save Christmas!,What Would Idiot-Jesus Do? — Tags: Teresa Wright (and her best buddy Jesus) —
This petition narrowly misses out on being today’s craziest Christian rant…
Everybody should become a christian as it is the only true, peaceful faith.
This should be done world wide. As Jesus is the Son of God saviour of mankinds sins. He was put to death upon the cross for us all. Then on the third day he rised back to life.
…because of this one…
In the Judas scroll their is an argument that Jesus is not the son of God. So if Jesus never made such claims why is their an argument agaisn’t him being the son of God?
Jesus must have made such claims for their to be an argument for him being the son of God.
And that scroll was in the time of Jesus. And the fact that Jesus claimed to be King of the Jews then so what 2000 years later all of the Jews were almost wiped off the face of the plannet. So now who do you say he is?
…from the same person.
Teresa Wright, if you’re reading this, you are a cunt. It’s only lucky Brown got this instead of Blair. He might actually have done it.
Posted by Andrew @ December 19th, 2008 9:12 pm. Filed under: Anything I Want Should Be Free,Gibberish,Not Government Business,Nothing Should Ever Change!,Presumably The Prime Minister Is Not Too Busy,Really Epic Duplicate Petitions,Really REALLY Bad Ideas,Rejected Petitions,So I Just Type What I Want Here And The PM Has To Do It?,Sorry, What Was I Talking About?,We Have To Save Christmas!,What Would Idiot-Jesus Do?,You Know - We Haven't Banned Anything Lately. —
to sort out all the empty properties and to stop people having to sleep on the streets its 2008 people should not have to sleep in car parks most homeless people are white there is never any bme groups homeless we should look after our own first my grandad fought for this country and if he knew his granddaughter was sleeping on the streets 3 years ago he would be turning in his grave,sort all abandoned properties out and help our own first
Yeah, Gordon, fix it!
We cannot watch it any longer! Murders, crying hungry and sick children. We need to use our infulence to teach African leaders to develop their countries. If China could do it, Africa can as well. EU just has to give them helping hand to in business and infrastructure. Thanks for signing!
What we need is A Plan! That will fix it! Come on Gordon, think!
ban the display of the eu flag and symbols as they were removed from the eu constitution when it was re drawn as the lisbon treaty, (which britain has signed to) now they have been reintroduced thus becoming the constitutional emblem and therefore britain should now hold the promised referendum.
This very nearly made sense, and had that happened it would only have been undesirable and rather stupid.
I think it would be more productive to go surfing with Dave.
The commercial disgrace and complete lack of respect for the rememberence of fallen servicemen and women is unacceptable and should be regulated by the Government as businesses seem unable to respect the wishes of the general public.
This petition was rejected, because it’s stupid and way outside the government’s remit– oh, no, hang on, it was rejected because it overlaps this one:
Currently we are seeing advertising for Christmas starting as early as September or October.Which in my opinion is an utter disgrace and is nothing but commercial greed and the exploitation and abuse of a greatly loved and respected religious occasion.
Therefore, why can’t the Goverment at least consider bringing in a code of practice or legislation whereby,advertising for Christmas does not begin until the beginning of December. (Just like they do in many countries on the continent) Surely that’s got to be a better solution, than the commercial greed fest we’re forced to witness ever earlier, every year.
They what now? It’s illegal to advertise Christmas things in November in continental Europe? Are you sure?
Well done Mr. Brown,
What are you? Robin Hood in reverse.
By insisting the Banks lower interest rates, you have robbed the poor to give to the rich, yet again.
Pensioners, who have already been hit hard by fuel & food inflation, lost most of their saved assets because you asked them to invest in Stock Exchange Securities, are now to receive much reduced interest on their cash savings, so that those who have borrowed carelessly may benefit.
Most Pensioners are now worse off than they have ever been.
My advise to the young – NEVER SAVE A PENNY – CARRY ON SPENDING OTHER PEOPLES MONEY – IF YOU DON’T – Mr Brown will soon relieve you of any savings you may have, once you reach retirement.
Recipey for total National Disaster.
No Vote for you Mr. Brown!
I see.
The leaked report showing that the threat from Islam has not receded shows the only thing to be done is to ban the practice of Islam and any outward displays of the religion.
I see.
I don’t see.
He’s an eloquent and brilliant man. Let’s show him how special he is.
…on the National Treasure Database?
An increasing number of telecommunications companies are charging customers for receiving hard copies of their phone bills. The companies reasoning behind this is that paper bills are bad for the environment. They wish customers to pay online and therefore forgo this additional charge. Once they impose this fee, a percentage of the charge will be passed on to a third party to ‘plant a tree’. This charge penalises those with no access to the internet, I.T. equipment and those less well off in society. This thinking is effectively companies levelling their own corporate ‘green’ tax! Companies should leave it to customers to decide which good cause, if any, their money should go towards. They should only charge for the cost of the service they provide.
Sound familiar? He’s submitted exactly this before.
we want the sick groups taken off like `dead baby jokes appreciation society` or the `stillbirth is gods practical joke`
we want facebook to review its groups and to ban the creators of these offensive groups
Damn freedom of speech. I guess we’ll have to get rid of human rights first. But that’s okay because those are only for dirty illegal foreign criminals.
I hope to encourage Coca-cola to play the classic coca-cola advert on british television in the christmas 2008. I feel the classic coca-cola christmas advert put’s the fun & christmasy feel back into britain.
Thank you, Please Vote. Merry XMAS.
Some people really just want to divide the universe into a set of things that are mandatory and a set of things that are banned, don’t they?
Serious crimes could be punished by the death sentence. Lesser crimes could be punished by fines and community service.
This would save a lot of public money and prison would no longer be a place where people learn to become better criminals. The death sentence would act as a deterrent and cut the rate of reoffending.
Is this a good plan? I think it might not be.
Posted by Ben @ December 17th, 2008 8:55 am. Filed under: George Orwell Had The Right Idea,Really Epic Duplicate Petitions,This Is What We're Outraged At This Week — Tags: Dee Murrell —
Dee Murrell has apparently been very deeply affected by the tragedy of poor little Baby P. Enough to petition the Prime Minister:
Social workers should legally insist that all clothing, except for maybe underwear or nappy, be removed and food/paint/makeup/ointment etc be cleaned off at every visit. As highlighted in Baby P’s case, clothing and ‘chocolate’ can hide a multitude of sins. Children old enough to speak for themselves may be too afraid to do so.
If this was implemented, abusive carers would soon understand that it won’t be so easy to hoodwink social workers or to hide signs of physical abuse.
…and then again, an hour later.
Up to four children die each week in England from abuse or neglect & many more suffer serious harm or injury. The NSPCC says that babies & toddlers are particularly vulnerable to physical abuse.
Many instances of child abuse are never brought to the attention of the authorities. It should therefore be compulsory for carers to take babies & toddlers for a health check & physical examination at least every 3 months, for the first year or two, to help detect any signs of neglect or physical abuse. If carers fail to attend a health check, social services should be alerted and the child seen without delay.
Responsible carers already take their children to health centres regularly, so this system should only serve to highlight any irresponsible, neglectful or abusive carers. It would help prevent the very young and most vulnerable from slipping through the net and hopefully prevent further tragedies like that of Baby P and Tiffany Wright.
Thank you.
Am I the only person who thinks it’s a bit demeaning to ask a parent to strip their baby down to just their underwear? Even prisoners of war get better treatment than that.