Stop Knife Crime! Fight against it! Prevent it!.

by Calum of The Misbourne School

the petition is calling to stop knife crime. it tears lives and families apart but most importantly it costs lives! Stop Knife crime! Fight against it!

The ePetition team show us their glowing incompetence by once again allowing a duplicate petition to slip through their hands.

make it law that parents are accountable and responsible for thier childs actions, and could be prosecuted. If there child breaks the law.

by Mrs Emma Casey

I ask if possible that new laws make it so that parents are solely responsible and accountable for their child’s actions; I ask to bring about proper parental responsibilities. Where parents would be prosecuted along side there child if their child broke the law. Mother/Fathers have a “duty of care” to raise their children with morals, ethics and a decent ethos instilled in them, if they fail there parental responsibilities then the parents’, should be equally responsible for what their child has done or does. This is what our society is lacking.

Not only is this a patently ridiculous petition (“solely responsible”? What, so the kid gets away with it while their parents serve time?), but we had more or less this very idea suggested not three days ago. And it’s popped up several times over the last year, too. One has to wonder whether the ePetition Team are taking their admittedly rather pointless job seriously. I mean, you’ve gott have pride in your job, even if your job does entail thumbing through the public’s batshit insane ramblings on a daily basis and making the least-worst ones signable by other batshit insane people.

Consider sending criminals with life sentences or serious offences get trained in the army and sent to frontline.

by Mr J Bradshaw

There are too many crimes now which consist of murder,homicide, rapists by gangs and disturbing individuals.

Instead of sending them to prison with small sentences or life sentences I consider it would be better to see these people (from 16+) placed into army training grounds, trained and then placed on the front-line.

This might make them realise what they have done wrong and change them into something better!

Or it’ll be the British government putting weapons in the hands of convicted murderers and rapists. I can’t say I particularly approve of that.

You’ve seen this petition before. We all have. Once every month or so some bright spark gets it into their head that adding a “None of the above” option would be a brilliant idea. Unfortunately this month, we’ve got two of the buggers:

amend ballot papers and parliamentary procedure to allow and facilitate an individual the legal right to vote No Suitable Candidate on a UK ballot paper.

by Mr. C. Baker

The option to legitimately select No Suitable Candidate would be available for anyone eligible to vote in the United Kingdom. The object of voting No Suitable Candidate is to allow a true representation of public opinion whilst being constructive. Based on the principles of allowing the majority to make decisions effectively and efficiently, while ensuring fairness towards the minority, this voting option gives an individual the right to voice an opinion. In such a case where the No Suitable Candidate were to receive a majority of the vote cast a variety of formal procedures may be invoked which would include beginning the election process again with the original candidates excluded. The petition is made with No party agenda or political bias. Support is sought in the interest of treating the public fairly, especially by those that seek to govern us.

introduce in the forthcoming UK election, and for all future elections, a ‘Vote of no confidence’ box should be added to the ballot form/slip.

by Steven J. Grimwade

We the undersigned put forward the proposition that in the forthcoming UK election, and for all future elections, a ‘Vote of no confidence’ box should be introduced to the ballot form/slip. This would allow people who wish to exercise their right to vote but see no clear distinction between the existing parties, or just wish to voice their discontent at the current state of politics in this country, to register their democratic opinion. In the past various parties have blamed low turn-out to the voting polls on ‘public apathy’. This may not be the case. We believe the ‘Vote of no confidence’ box would remove this ambiguity, allowing the government a clearer perspective of the public’s changing attitudes, while also granting the hitherto silent voice of those wishing to abstain from voting for a particular party, to be heard.

Fucking Hell, people. Let me explain this to you so you can go back to watching Jeremy Kyle: Elections are not opinion polls. You are not being asked which of the candidates you like more than the others. You’re being asked to pick the candidate that you believe would be the least-worst at running the country. If you truly don’t want to vote for any of the candidates, you can simply stay home when the polls are open. That way you get to throw away your vote and stay in and watch Doctors.

And to the government’s ePetition admin team: What the bloody Hell are you doing? Your job is to make sure shit like this doesn’t happen. It’s bad enough you approve a petition like this once a month every month like clockwork, but to approve two near-identical petitions on the same day? What the fuck are the government paying you for? Do you know what your job is supposed to be? Does anybody know?

What a bunch of fucking rocket surgeons.

Kevin Chapple feels very strongly about porn being available on freeview.

Ban adult porn channels from Freeview.

by Kevin Chapple

As Freeview is a service that is beamed into more or less everyone’s home now I ask the Government to shut down the Adult channels that run late at night until 5.30am. The channels are not only a money making scam but by what is shown corrupts minds. I am especially concerned about children in their rooms up in the early hours watching this. Writing to Ofcom they tell me 3 of the channels are licensed by the Nederlands and 2 regulated by Ofcom. It is about time action was taken against these channels now before we end up with dozens of them.

So strongly, in fact, that he submitted two petitions about it.

Ban adult porn channels from Freeview.

by Kevin Chapple

Freeview tv is hosting adult porn channels which automatically tune in to everybodies home from midnight to 5.30am There are now about 6 of them running with models hardly leaving anything to the imagination. I am concerned it can corrupt kids in their bedrooms up late as well as adults. I ask that these money making scams be taken off public Freeview tv

I think the real loser here is the government’s ePetition administrators. Well done, team!

Can you tell the difference between this petition…:

Limit Cars to 70MPH.

by Tobias Haynes

This is a petition to limit cars to 70 MPH; Why are cars made capable to do high speeds reaching 120MPH etc when our laws clearly state 70MPH is the Maximum possible throughout the country?

Lorries and other vehicles are limited and forced to obey limits… Long gone are the days where nothing could be done…Technology makes limiting cars possible. A nut and bolt is all it takes. A minimum cost saving countless lives, freeing up our hospitals from constant RTA’s and a mass reduction in motorway Road Rage, tailgating and “Motorway Bullying”. People are afraid to use our motorways. Cars are constantly dangerously driving on our motorways being continuous hazards and nothing is being done! In 2008 49% of Cars exceeded the 70MPH speed limit-15% travelling above 80MPH! This is unacceptable! Our government must take account of this and something must be done! It is a simple matter simply resolved!

Car insurance costs would decrease, “boy racers” and speeders would decline (if not disappear!), new statutory offences could be created making offences for attempting to remove limiters or driving without a limiter etc.

Please sign and make a difference- Make our roads safer!

Thank You

…and this petition:

Limit Cats to 70MPH.

by Tobias Haynes

This is a petition to limit cars to 70 MPH; Why are cars made capable to do high speeds reaching 120MPH etc when our laws clearly state 70MPH is the Maximum possible throughout the country?

Lorries and other vehicles are limited and forced to obey limits… Long gone are the days where nothing could be done…Technology makes limiting cars possible. A nut and bolt is all it takes. A minimum cost saving countless lives, freeing up our hospitals from constant RTA’s and a mass reduction in motorway Road Rage, tailgating and “Motorway Bullying”. People are afraid to use our motorways. Cars are constantly dangerously driving on our motorways being continuous hazards and nothing is being done! In 2008 49% of Cars exceeded the 70MPH speed limit-15% travelling above 80MPH! This is unacceptable! Our government must take account of this and something must be done! It is a simple matter simply resolved!

Car insurance costs would decrease, “boy racers” and speeders would decline (if not disappear!), new statutory offences could be created making offences for attempting to remove limiters or driving without a limiter etc.

Please sign and make a difference- Make our roads safer!

Thank You

This is a beautifully moronic petition. I love it. It’s like a snapshot of every racist, xenophobic, “Put Broken Britain First” petition I’ve read over the last year.

Stop spending tax payers money on other countries when our own is in dire straits !!!.

by Barbara Steffensen

People of this country are already taxed to the hilt. They do not need to pay more tax so that Britain can be seen to be a leader in world events. Charity begins at home. We need to take care of our own British people first before looking at other nations, especially considering the debt we’re already in.

cap child benefit to two children.

by Rhea

We need this to stop some abusers of the system from receiving an income solely for having children.

We are experiencing a population boom in this country which we can not afford and which is bad for the environment. We need to stop – as a society – effectively incentivising people for having large families. If they wish to have more children than two they should fund them entirely themselves and not expect taxpayers to do so.

I’ve raised counter-points to this argument before. Simply put: What happens to large families who are legitimately in need of actual benefits? Do they just allow the “excess” children to starve to death?

help to create a global resource based economy.

by joe challenor of the zeitgeist movement

The monetry system is now outdated and un-nessecary.It is a pyramid system of scarcity.Unequal access for people of the nessecitys and wants of life.We now have the technology and knowledge to create abundance.If we have abundance then the scarecity based monetry system becomes obsolete. A resource based economy will solve nearly all of the worlds current problems.No excageration.

I tell you what. You come up with a proper system, and demonstrate it with slideshows and diagrams and everything, and we’ll have a look at it. Because right now all you’ve sent in is a bunch of utter nonsense gibberish.

be proactive in taking all steps necessary to secure the release of Paul and Rachel Chandler from pirate kidnappers in Somalia.

by Laura Fellowes

Paul and Rachel Chandler’s kidnap took place near the Seychelles on a boat at gunpoint. The British government have said they will not engage in agreements for ransoms. This is two peoples lives, their families, and the next innocent travellers this will happen to. Are the British Government really doing everything they can to help the Chandlers?

No, they aren’t. And given the circumstances, that’s exactly what they should be doing for reasons I’ve already stated.

And finally, two people who, I’m guessing, are vegetarian:

Introduce a tax on meats.

by MR Hngshin Devendra Dsramy-Williams of University of Oxford

It’s obvious that meats require far greater amounts of resources to produce than vegetables. Their environmental impact is also correspondingly greater. Given the need to reduce our aggregate consumption of increasingly scarce resources, it therefore makes sense to provide incentives for people to reduce their consumption of meat – via a tax. This should shift consumption to better foods like fruits and vegetables, which should also improve peoples’ health.

Raise taxes on the meat industry.

by Adam Welch

Scientific studies have proven that the meat and dairy industry produces MORE greenhouse gases than all of the world’s transport and aviation combined. In light of this, the government should tax the meat industry (including farmers, slaughterhouses and butchers) just as heavily as it taxes motorists.

But meat is delicious, so you lose the argument by default.

reform the voting system with the introduction of a “none of the above” option to all voting slips which could result in another ballot but with new candidates.

by Mr I Gilmour

At the bottom of all voting slips should be a box marked “none of the above”. At the count should this box receive more votes than any candidate, the election should be repeated but none of the original candidates should be allowed to stand. This will mean that a vote actually can be used to “vote out” as easily as “vote in” politicians.

I can never understand why people seem to think this is a good idea. How is a “None of the above” option in any way good? Surely it’s a waste of time to get up, start the car, drive to your polling station, wait in line and then tick a box that basically say “I’m not voting”. You could probably stay in and masturbate two, maybe even three times.

Give Smokers Money For Cigarettes.

by Mr Jamie Ashford

Alcoholics And Drug Addicted People Get Money, Smoking Is An Addiction Too, Smokers Should Get Money

No. Sod off.

Charge cyclists 10 pound a year road tax.

by Miss Jade Tipping

its a fair tax, 10 pound a year for cyclists to use public roads as any other form of transport requires tax, insurance, m.o.t, whereas cyclists dont need any of these to use our roads and with the governments new policy to keep the planet green they are forcing more and more people to use cycles for work etc, so there are more cyclists on the roads than ever before, i think most cyclists would not mind paying 10 pound a year to use public roads which would generate a very large annual income for the government to use where it is needed.

It’d be hypocritical of me to point out the people complaining about the 50p broadband tax and then turn around and say this idea here is ridiculous. That being said, cyclists account for a virtually negligible amount of wear and tear on city streets. £10 seems disproportionate to the amount of damage we’re doing, especially when you consider that one car alone pumps out twelvety-thousand billion billion yards of greenhouse gases a day. Possibly I am exaggerating.

And while I’m on the subject of the broadband tax…

Stop the broadband tax.

by Leigh Favell

Why should we have to pay another tax to improve broadband speeds when we already pay tax on broadband.

BT have said the money raised wouldn’t come near to their estimates of the cost to get broadband to all homes.

Well that’s just because BT like to grab money, which explains those Direct Debit fees you also like to complain about.

This week’s Reject Rednesday takes place on a Saturday, because I want it to. So let us once again trawl through the ePetition site’s Reject Bin and pay heed to the braying and neighing of farmyard animals.

Linda Homan.

by Linda Homan (rejected)

Please stop all migrants entering the UK. This includes our European partners. Residents from Europe should be allowed in at the rate of one UK person leaving – let in someone from Europe. This is a small island that is already overcrowded and we are facing huge unemployment without additional people. The argument that migrants help with work can no longer be used. We the British people are not prejudiced. However, if we are to remain the great nation that we have always been, we need to stop the madness that migration is bringing all over this wonderful country of ours!

Yes, because the “madness” going on in the UK these days is solely because of people clawing their way onto our shores like mindless zombies, hungry for the brains of employment, nourished only by the knowledge that the job they’re doing now has been stolen from a hard-working Brit.

The problem with people like this is that they’re complaining about immigrants taking our jobs in one breath, and then decrying “Benefit Britain” in the next. The irony of this is just sickening.

Read the rest of this entry »

Legislate so that nothing to do with Christmas can be advertised or sold before December 1st.

by Kevin Bradley

Christmas Day is just that,one day,but now seems to last for three months or more.From sofas to food to presents we are bombarded day after day,week after week in the shops and on television from as early as September with companies trying to take money from us for Christmas.They don`t care about us,they just want as much of our money as possible.Quite apart from most people being driven mad,becoming sick and tired of the whole thing,so many people who can least afford it are spending much more than they can afford,causing untold hardship year after year.Indeed,many people are still paying for last Chrismas when the next one is on our screens.This used to be a time of year to look forward to but sadly,few now do. If Christmas was condensed to just the month of December it may re-kindle peoples enjoyment of it,helping them to possibly spend less and bring back the true meaning,which is not to line the coffers of big business. It is,after all,supposed to be a time for us to celebrate the birth of Jesus.

Poor guy. He takes this so seriously.

scrap the plans to tax phone lines to subsidise other peoples broadband.

by Tony Humphreys

I request that the Government scraps any plans to add 50p a month tax to phone lines to subsidise further broadband roll out. It is wholly unfair to tax my phone line to pay for someone else’s broadband, and it is as simple as that. It is recognised that rural areas do suffer a slower connection and higher costs, but they have fantastic views, clean air and a safer environment – its a choice people have to live in the country – and a decision they take. Please see sense, and stop this poll tax – broadband is not a vital service.

We’ve gone over this before – it’s 50p. All that means is you get to yam one less Kit-Kat in your gob every month. Can you really be so hard-off that you can’t make do without that extra £6 a year?

Remember Cathy Connor’s petition to prevent landlords from “discriminating against children”? Well apparently she sent it twice as today the ePetition admin team, in their endless, bounteous wisdom, authorised another, identical petition. It has one minor difference from the one we shared yesterday – an additional “s” in the URL. Genius.

Give renters more rights!.

by Mr Jan Paul Giergiel

Renting a property should not be the pain it is at the moment, as a Renter myself I am fed up of Landlords feel that they can dictate how you should use the property that you are paying them handsomely to occupy.

I believe that a landlord should only be able to demand that the property is in the same condition at the end of a tenancy as when the tenancy began. I feel it is unfair that they can impose silly restrictions i.e. No Pets. I feel that this is an infringement of ones human rights, I think that as owning becomes further and further away from the average person the tenant MUST be given more rights and freedom during a tenancy.

But it’s not your property. It’s theirs.

Christopher Bristow really likes his hydrogen-powered cars.

increase research into hydrogen feuls in car manufacteurers and fill up stations.

by Mr Christopher Bristow

to combat climate change by the introduction and eventual change over of an alternative and non polluting feul of hydrogen gas.

reduce the uk’s CO2 emissions by 20% by a gradual switch over to hydrogen fuel as a fuel for motor vehicles.

by Christopher Bristow

more than 20% of uk CO2 emissions are produced from the nations car exhausts. The thought behind this petition is to advise the government to create a bigger incentive to car manufacteurers in producing hydrogen feul cell cars and to feul stations in providing hydrogen fill up points, to the eventual event of a switch over to hydrogen cars when a growing trade produces as if not more efficent hydrogen car than the standard petrol and deisel cars.

As pointed by Robert Llewellyn, who is famous for playing a square-headed robot in a sitcom and is therefore an expert on such things, hydrogen power actually expends more energy than is collected. You have to use a ridiculous amount of electricity on rather a lot of water to get a halfway decent amount of hydrogen and that, to me, seems rather wasteful.

stop school bulling.

by Mr Daniel Andrews

to much school bulling and parents suffering

All of these “enforced National Service” petitions are, I am sure, having a detrimental impact on my blood pressure. I may stop sharing them entirely. For now, though, here’s another one.

Consider having serious trouble making youths at secondary school to be considered for National Service.

by Mr Alan Mann

This may help and / or stop the violence that is currently happening in the UK with respect to other people’s lives. If this was compulsory then it may even make them think before some of their atrocious actions. Incidentally if this became a prerequisite, this law may be helping out more than one person in the future.

Sigh. I need to see a doctor. This isn’t healthy.

(Sidenote: I like to think that Mr Alan Mann is that gormless fella from Little Britain who went into a toy shop looking for a pirate memory game suitable for children between the ages of 4 and 8).

I find myself in the rather unique situation of posting a petition that might have been posted by someone related to me. They share my last name, and they’re Pagan. I was raised in a Pagan household even though I’m an Atheist myself. I don’t know if there are any Nigels in our family but I’m going to have to find out now.

But anyway, here it is:

allow free access to Stonehenge and other national monuments of Pagan interest.

by Nigel Paddon

(Renewal of petition by Moira Stirland)

Pagans across the country have to pay or have only limited/restricted access to ancient Pagan sites of historical and religious interest such as Stonehenge. We call on the government to recognise that members of the Pagan faith should be allowed access to their places of worship in the same way that members of other religions are allowed to.

Additional – UK Census 2011. More visible lobby group.

Except Stonehenge isn’t a church or a mosque, is it? It’d hardly be fair if Pagans were allowed free entry but every other bugger had to pay. And how would you prove you’re a Pagan in the first place? Wear a pentagram? Bring your Book of Shadows with you? Come dressed in your robes? It wouldn’t bloody work, and the only reason the National Trust can afford to do a lot of the reconstruction and maintenance work they’ve done over the years to charge admission.

increase the national driving age.

by ahmed jasim of be

we want to increase the national driving age limit becuase of all the many accidents happening in todays britian

Sigh.

Move to British Summer Time all year round.

by Tristan Wibberley

The late light on summer evenings is extremely welcome, and later light during the winter would also be welcome.

In addition, changing the clocks twice a year is a nuisance, costly, and error prone.

You seem to have forgotten a fundamental piece of information when considering your otherwise sterling idea, Tristan. I’ll leave you to figure out what it is.

stoptvlicence.

by Mr M J de Matas of none

For years now innocent people are getting taken to court and fined for non payment. Hard working families,struggle to buy food t.v should not be classed as a luxury in this day and age it should be available as family entertainment. The beeb should allow advertisments to sustain the industry. I am a supporter of the bbc as the information is balanced and true,but surley now the statistics of those who cant afford one ie court action is a complete waste of taxpayers money and the poorer families are paying more than a millionaire in the long run . If any major positive action can be done to stop our public getting criminalised for struggling during this recession sign here please.

Whether you like it or not, television is a luxury. If you can’t afford it, don’t have it. It really is as simple as that.

Ready for a smattering of rejected petitions on the submit of racism, xenophobia, and general douchebaggery? No? Well tough, because they’re here.

Return all none British born people to their country of origin.

by Jessica Wilson of Citizen (rejected)

I would like a Law passed to enable this to happen, i am fed up of ethnic races moving to Britain and expecting us to conform to their religion, education etc, if they cant abide by they way we live and our Laws, send them back to where they originally came from.

More after the jump. Read the rest of this entry »