Right to Life for Unborn Children

by AndyCC
on July 03, 2010 at 01:01AM

Someone decides to have sex, they should live with the concequences. Abortion should be banned for all social economic reasons.

Life is a sacred thing, whether you believe it is from God or not, people these days think that you just pop-out of the womb on the day you are born, but it starts before that within the womb.

If people disagree with banning Abortion for social economic reasons, could they please explain why it is differnt to killing a 5 year old because they are not an Adult yet?

Abortion is just legalised mass murder, wrapped up to make everyone feel good about it.

Why the contribution is important
Why should an innocent unborn child be murdered simply because of a “bad” choice to have sex?

Why should the taxpayer pay for this? And for the clumsy decisions of others not to use protection?

The legalisation of abortion should be repealed.

by ngreer
on July 06, 2010 at 11:51PM

Why the contribution is important
The right to life is a fundamental human right. The unborn are human. At the moment of conception they become, by any reasonable definition, human. They are genetically members of the species homo sapiens, and between that moment and birth, there is no clear dividing line when a change occurs. If there is no clear dividing line, then no change occurs (if it is illegal to kill at some precise moment and not before, that must be because a significant change occurs at that moment).

It follows that to kill the unborn is murder, and the clear denial of that unborn child’s right to life. We will not execute murderers and rapists because of this principle, but we will inflict a particularly brutal killing on defenceless, innocent children. This is unnacceptable in any society that aspires to be civilised.

let’s ignore all of the bollocks pseudo-science and half-arsed presumptions in these petitions and jump to the crux of the matter: making abortion illegal.

What about where protection is used? What about rape? What about incest rape? What about instances where the baby won’t survive childbirth? What about instances where the mother won’t survive childbirth? What about where the baby will be born without a brain? Or, rather simply, what if the woman simply isn’t ready to be a mother? It’s her body, her choice, and she shouldn’t be forced into motherhood against her will, be it because she was attacked in the park or because she just doesn’t want to have kids.

Even taking all of these variables out of the picture, making abortion illegal isn’t going to help. The women that want abortions are still going to find ways of getting them, being it going abroad to somewhere else in Europe where it’s still legal. Or, if that’s not an option, they’ll seek out a “back alley abortion” where statistics show they will, in fact, wind up dead.

So, long story short, it seems AndyCC and ngreer hate women, they don’t think a woman is entitled to ownership of her own uterus.

Well obviously it doesn’t benefit the British public, because the British public aren’t being mercilessly chased by a pack of slathering dogs. I bet the foxes are pretty damned happy about it, though.

There’s a sort-of wonderful, ignorant irony in David bringing up the Equality Bill when Mr and Mrs Wilkinson are sort-of contravening the Equality Bill themselves by forbidding homosexuals from using their establishment.

He obviously feels very strongly about this, considering he submitted this and two other near-identical petitions about this very subject. He seems to think that the ideals of people who believe in a magical space wizard are more important than the ideals of people who happen to be in love, irrespective of what their genders may be. In fact, looking at a previous petition of his we featured some time ago, he seems to think that religious ideals (specifically his ideals, which happen to be Christian) trump all other ideals, beliefs and lifestyles. For that reason, he is a cunt.

That’s not a word I use often. It’s not a word I even like using. I have a particular disdain for that word, but then I also have a disdain for people who think that their imaginary friend is more important than… well, than anything else. That makes him a cunt. He is a cunt. David Skinner, who is a cunt, is a cunt.

I honestly can’t understand how someone can think that their God, whom they believe in despite the lack of any evidence, is more important than the love between two people of the same gender, which they refuse to believe in despite the overwhelming evidence presented.

This seems fair.

If they didn’t want the extra expense they should have just been men like me and Mr Ed did, although in his case it’s technically called a stallion.

And the notion of adding more foreigners to the ever-growing throng does not fill him with the warm fuzzies.

Block the entry of Turkey into the EU.

by Mr Garry Smith

Block Turkey entering into the EU. 1) Human rights in Turkey are not up to recognised EU standards and may never be despite any promises. Turkey has reluctantly agreed to end its death penalty in a bid to join the EU, but only in peacetime, and this is a country that has had to be forced to outlaw people smuggling to join the EU, it has had to be forced to outlaw this despicable act, it wouldn’t have outlawed it on its own. Turkey is not part of Europe, it is in the Middle East, and has its borders with Iraq, Iran & Syria, who next to join, Iraq or Iran or Syria or all 3? 2) The EU club is big enough and not one British citizen (except the PM) has ever been given the vote for this to happen 3) This will cause an influx of Turkish people to the UK as happened with Poland 4) The majority of British people do not want the EU any larger or Turkey to join it. 5) Its about time the PM went with the majority in his own country and not because it makes him look popular in Europe.

Ah, the “slippery slope” argument. “If Turkey get in, that means Iraq, Iran and Syria will all want to get in! At the same time! They’ll all get stuck in the door as they try to come through! It’ll be anarchy!”

Did Turkey have to be forced to stop capital punishment and bring in tougher laws against human trafficking? Maybe. Sometimes people need to have their arms twisted to do what is ultimately best for them. But to dismiss their entire worth as a nation because of it? To say that they may never reach EU standards? That’s an impressive piece of dickery, Mr. Smith.

Also, I hate the arrogance of assuming that every bloody thing that happens in Parliament or in the EU needs to be voted for by the British public. Personally, I’m overjoyed that “not one British citizen (except the PM) has ever been given the vote for this to happen”, or indeed for any other manner of thing to happen. If the British public were able to vote on every major thing to happen to the UK then they wouldn’t be part of the EU in the first place, nor would gay couples be able to have civil partnerships. Women probably wouldn’t be able to vote, either. And you know why? Because people like things the way they are. Oh yes, there are individuals and groups who rally for social change, but the masses are quite content to plod along in their uneventful little lives, going to their uninteresting jobs, eating their decidedly dull meals and watching their wholly bland but remarkably high-definition televisions.

But of course, this doesn’t have anything to do with any of those points, does it? It’s more to do with the fact that if Turkey gets into the EU Turkish citizens will be able to come and go from the UK as they please. They’ll be able to move here, seek employment, start businesses, own property, just like the Polish. And you don’t like the Polish, do you Mr. Smith? Oh no, of course not. They’re not local. They talk funny, and have strangely uniform haircuts, and eat pastries with odd names spelt with bizarre letters that look like they might be good, sturdy, British letters. But they’re not! And the worst thing about the Polish? They’re white. You can’t even identify them by sight. Anyone you know could be Polish. You could be living next door to a Pole right now and have absolutely no idea!

What this boils down to, Mr. Smith, is your deeply-rooted racism and distrust of anyone who isn’t from a town you can pinpoint on a map of the Great British Isles.

I’m just speculating, obviously.

This petition has been rejected.

Every current sitting Member of Parliament should resign over the expenses scandal.

by Mr Philip Wailing (rejected)

the disgrace of the mp’s expenses scandal has left me, and everyone i talk to with the impression that all mp,s have entered parliament for one reason and one reason only, personal gain. the general consensus of opinion is that not one single m.p. can any longer be trusted. they are a disgrace to the office they hold.

Tell you what: we’ll make them all reapply for their own jobs in a couple of months. Deal?

Sack The Prime Minister.

by mr lol lololl (rejected)

lololooo

lol

stop bad things happening.

by Mr Nicholas Evans (rejected)

Are you sick of all the bad things that happen?

Do you think your government should stop these bad things from happening?

Sign NOW so we can put a stop to this!

make the word ‘clapter’ an official word.

by Miss Bethany Gough (rejected)

We as a history class in Wales have decided that the word clapter should be a real word. This came about because we thought that in the sentence "the room was filled with laughter" there should be an equivalent for clapping e.g, "the room was filled with clapter". After taking it upon myself to research the word I could not find any definition in the dictionary but I did find a reference to the word ‘clapter’ in a book written by Amanda Filipacchi in her novel written in 1993 called ‘Nude Men’.
(This wasn’t part of our history class) My history teacher did agree and many of my friends that this should be a word and i have no made it my life time goal to make this word official.

Give that man a round of applauohwait.

Force MP3 Downlod Sites to Lower their Prices.

by Mr Tommy Grimshaw (rejected)

The reports of a law being introduced to cut people’s internet who share and download files illegally is silly. People may download illegally because it is too expensive otherwise. 99p for a song! iTunes is overpriced, and Amazon, HMV and Tesco have now upped their prices. I always buy songs legally, but am finding it harder not to download illegally, as to do the right thing, and buy songs legally is too expensive.

This isn’t perhaps a bad idea, but he could have done a better job of masking his intentions.

stop allowing islamics to protest in our country.

by george bryans (rejected)

stop allowing islamics to protest in our country about us not allowing them to build more of their mosques. even though we aren’t allowed to build churches in their country. this is very corrupt and injust

immediately release Smoking Ban martyr Nick Hogan from the unjust 6 month jail sentence he has just received for standing up for our personal freedoms.

by Mr Paul Mcilvaney of UK Independence Party (rejected)

Nick Hogan, landlord of the Swan with Two Necks in Bolton, refused to throw two World War II veterans out into the rain to smoke when a council official demanded he do so. As a result, Mr Hogan has been persecuted by that Council and after punitive fines were not paid, he has been jailed for longer than sexual assaulters and other violent criminals sentenced on the same day. This means he will not be able to stand as the selected PPC for UKIP in Chorley in the forthcoming General Election, effectively further impoverishing democracy already under seige in this country.

We do not imprison people standing up for war heroes and pensioners’ rights in this country, we should be giving them medals. Gordon Brown should recognize Nick’s heroic stance for liberty and personal freedom and release him immediately, reprimanding the over-officious council and judge for their mediaevil attitudes! He must release him before he announces a General Election (if he ever does) or he will damage British democracy, liberty and justice even further.

If you want to protest a law you consider unjust by breaking it then fine, but part of that protest will involve going to prison. And if you go to prison, you can’t expect to be an MP at the same time. That UKIP candidates don’t know this is more worrying than it is surprising.

return the Union Jack to its previous honours.

by Mr Harry Jackson (rejected)

Sadly with the growing Multiculturalism of the united kingdoms I feel that I must request the Union Jack, the former great flag of the United Kingdoms is returned to its former greatness. Rather than multiculturalism destroying our national holidays and calling any kind of patriotism ‘Racism’ due to various offences to islam and other Non-English faith’s. I don’t want racism. I simply don’t wish to be mocked or arrested for patriotism and support of the united kingdoms its flag and all of its glory.

God Bless the Queen

Don’t worry, nobody is going to mock you for patriotism.

Starting now.

Bring back workhouses for the unemployed rather than benefits.

by Robin Rawlings

As a tax payer I fed up seeing my neighbours who don’t work watching their 40″ plasma tv’s, I can’t afford one and I work and pay tax so why should lazy people contributing nothing to the country get more than hard working people. We should force them to work if they don’t work, by building workhouses and then sending them to workhouses.

If every country with debts owed to another wasn’t allowed to get involved then the EU wouldn’t get anything done.

…Oh.

Hmm, where have I read this before? Oh yes:

Yeah! Fuck the climate! What did it ever do for us?

How are they gaining unfairly? They’re putting the extra effort, time and work in, and it’s only fair they should be paid extra for that. I think you’re just being a dick.

It’d be hypocritical of me to point out the people complaining about the 50p broadband tax and then turn around and say this idea here is ridiculous. That being said, cyclists account for a virtually negligible amount of wear and tear on city streets. £10 seems disproportionate to the amount of damage we’re doing, especially when you consider that one car alone pumps out twelvety-thousand billion billion yards of greenhouse gases a day. Possibly I am exaggerating.

And while I’m on the subject of the broadband tax…

Stop the broadband tax.

by Leigh Favell

Why should we have to pay another tax to improve broadband speeds when we already pay tax on broadband.

BT have said the money raised wouldn’t come near to their estimates of the cost to get broadband to all homes.

Well that’s just because BT like to grab money, which explains those Direct Debit fees you also like to complain about.

Yeah, fuck everybody who isn’t us!

So what you’re effectively saying is that right now there is an entire group of road-users that you have zero respect for? I’m fairly confident that you’re supposed to respect each and every road user, there. Is this grounds for having Ron Meikle’s license revoked? I say “Yes,” and I’m not just saying that because I’m a cyclist.

Stop-foreign-aid.

by Michael Paddon (rejected)

With the recent news that the UK is to give Zimbabwe $100 million in aid, I believe the time is right to stop all foreign aid, a fraction of which actually gets to the people because of corruption at high levels. Why should the UK suffer cutbacks across the board while we are sending millions if not billions of pounds of OUR money abroad?

Frankly, I’ve never been happier to learn I’m not related to someone. I’m not related to most people, as it goes, but thankfully I’m also not related to this dolphin’s testicle.

HOUSE BRITONS BEFORE IMAGRANTS!!.

by Miss Leanna Gilfillan

It started off as an anti-EU petition and ended as the death rattle of a self-involved wanker who thinks that Britain should just look after its own. Love the unsourced “£40 million per day” claim, by the way.

Return all none British born people to their country of origin.

by Jessica Wilson of Citizen (rejected)

I would like a Law passed to enable this to happen, i am fed up of ethnic races moving to Britain and expecting us to conform to their religion, education etc, if they cant abide by they way we live and our Laws, send them back to where they originally came from.

More after the jump.

let the public decide how our tax is spent.

by marc mcfarlane of hgv driver (rejected)

we the public show say how our tax is spent it should be for the british people only no one else. not foriegners, we dont get it in there country so why should they get it here, i am britsh and i pay tax and insurance, but the government is giving it to everyone who comes from abroad. should not be allowed.

What a global man you are.

make muslims respect their host country.

by Allan Howard (rejected)

If muslims want to take advantage of all the freebies they are happy to scrounge from UK tax payers then make them conform to British values, traditions and customs.

Wow. In other news, the URL for this petition is “Britishnes”, which I can only assume is some kind of UK-exclusive Nintendo console released in the 80s that I didn’t previously know about.

Distance ourselves from the USA.

by Mr McCormick (rejected)

The special relationship between the United States and the United Kingdom must be toned down. We are too close to the United States and must become more independent when it comes to foreign policy.

Yeah. Britain and America are getting far too hot and heavy. They need to back off a little, learn to be happy being on their own for a while. Figure out where their heads are at. Maybe travel around Europe for a while, experiment sexually… Hang on, I feel I’ve deviated from the original analogy somewhere.

Oh, it looks like we missed the 1st anniversary of the launch of But, Sir…, so happy birthday us.

Yes, well, if bikes were as big as cars you might have a point there, Freddie-boy…

I live in Los Angeles (that’s in California, in case you were wondering) and I have to say: No, no, a thousand times no. The problem with this system – that is, handing the decision over to the public, putting them in charge of what people can and can’t do – is that they often try to think about what’s right for them as individuals and not what’s right for them as a whole. Elected officials are elected on the understanding that they will do what is best for their constituency. They don’t always remember this, and they certainly don’t always get it right, but they more or less get the job done.

I am terrified of what would happen if you were to hand that power over to the British public. Absolutely terrified.

Why would we want to mimic one of the more abhorrent elements of China’s questionable Human Rights violations?

No it doesn’t, you bloody great big homophobe.

What about the right to sit in your home with a cup of tea watching Countdown without having it interrupted by some git trying to sell you a set of steak knives, or a vacuum cleaner, or something? You’re not providing a service, you’re trying to sell something. If I need a set of all-purpose cleaning products I’ll bloody well pop down to Wilkinsons and buy some as and when the time arises, thankyouverymuch.

I don’t see you complaining about the Telephone Preference Service, or the Mailing Preference Service.

To ensure fairness everyone in the UK should be forced to take the exact same tests, and anyone who fails gets deported. I’m safe because I moved to America two years ago, so they needn’t bother testing me. But you, Mr. Bray? How much do you know about British History? Geography? Politics? I shall be frank with you: I have my doubts.

Yes, let’s waste everybody’s time holding pointless referendums where uninformed people take legally binding decisions about moronic policies concocted by people with IQs in the bottom tenth of a percentile, and which they haven’t the time to consider properly! Democracy, arguably, but basically oppression of minorities. And you can’t want that, can you?

start looking after the majority not the minority groups.

by c dobbins

Oh right okay you do.

Congratulations for completely failing to understand how EMA works, what it’s for, and what you as a young person should be expecting from the government. I’m trying to work out whether you should spend more time in College or whether it’s simply a waste of time for you.

Let’s also ban Christianity.

And the Telegraph.

And it’s through brilliant ideas like these.

Let’s make it illegal to use a word that means a thing it means. There’s no way that can lead down a dangerous path at all.

I actually think this petition would have been approved were he not such a cocky gobshite in the descriptive text. Not to say I support the petition, but Keith has a wonderful way of just being hilariously self-righteous that means that most of his petitions get rejected. I bet he thinks he’s Make A Stand, too. Tch.

I shudder to think what would happen if Keith Jones ever found this website. I imagine that the sky would crack asunder. Or something.

Right. And people who smoke and then get lung cancer shouldn’t get treatment either. And, hey, nobody has conclusively proven that mobile phones don’t cause brain tumours, so if you’ve ever used a mobile phone or if you live near a mobile phone mast you shouldn’t be able to get any form of treatment. Actually, people have been complaining about power lines and so on over the years as well, so let’s just prevent anyone who uses electricity from getting medical treatment for anything.

Wow! Look how much money we’ve saved for the NHS!

Because, y’know, people in the UK are loving a lot of the other “Nanny State” initiatives right now, am I right?

Why should the entire country be penalized just because you had no bloody self-control as a teen? Do grow up, there’s a good chap.

No. Fuck off. Stop suggesting this.

So you’d rather give a job to a Briton even if they’re vastly less qualified than an immigrant who is applying for the same job? Wow. What a dick.

How will preventing immigrants from having any idea what’s going on in the country they live in “aid integration” exactly?

That last sentence right there? That’s you being a Homophobe. Just have a Time Machine, a coathanger, and the date and location of your conception.

Well you are a Homophobe, Mr Simcox. You’re assuming that teaching kids that it’s okay to be gay means teaching them about raunchy butt sex, which is a fairly harmful and, yep, Homophobic assumption to go ahead and make.

“The will states that we cannot determine Zainab Gelu’s cause of death.”
“But Zainab Gelu was brutally murdered by a ban wearing a shark costume! We have DNA evidence! We need to check the body!”
“Sorry, it was his wish that his body remain undisturbed.”
“Oh, darn the luck! Darn!“

I think Gower would have better luck with his petition were he to use a slightly less sinister verb. “Harvest” makes him sound like a mad Scientist, or an alien who feeds on genetic material. Also: Didn’t the EU tell us we couldn’t do this anymore?

This is exactly the sort of thing we should be troubling the Prime Minister with. Bonus: There’s only one serious signature on the thing and, so far, three comical responses.

Oh, not this again. Protect your own bloody skin. If you didn’t want to pay through the nose for expensive safety gear perhaps you should have chosen a slightly less dangerous method of transportation.

Again, shouldn’t this be up to Thatcher’s family? I mean yes, as a former Prime Minister she is presumably entitled to a State Funeral, but in what kind of backwards society should it be mandatory to parade a former leader’s corpse through the streets of the capital, regardless of what her next of kin (or whomever) might want?

“We’d planned a very small, very private funeral, but some dick on the ePetition website wanted her to have a full blown State Funeral, with a marching band and fireworks and all that shit.”

No, “in reality” it’s you deciding that everybody should have your personal set of moral “standards” – namely that people ill-equipped to handle a baby should be forced to care for their unwanted accident and grow up in a home where they’re unloved. Or, alternatively, be placed into adoption and always have the question of why they weren’t good enough for their birth mother nagging them at the back of their head. You are, like most militant pro-life (anti-choice) campaigners, a careless, selfish shitcock.

Why?

We’ve gone over this. It’s bloody stupid to attribute the free will of one individual to another, regardless of age. Sometimes a Rebellious Teen is just a Rebellious Teen.

This one, however, sadly isn’t:

Because, y’know, there’s no ailment or illness that medical science cannot overcome, right? I’m absolutely certain that Dr Murphy has never had to say, “I’m sorry, there’s nothing more we can do.” Probably because Dr Murphy has been secretly working on cures to every single human disease and medical problem in a large underground bunker somewhere. Or something.

Meanwhile, public transport is in the shitter!

Or maybe it isn’t!

I’m so confused.

Haven’t we already shot this idea down? Twice? It’s getting to the point where I think these petitions need their own category.

This is a reasonable and achievable idea. Ooh, is someone serving pork? I’ll have a wing, please.

Right. Because 4% is a really big number, and as we all know council employees are already dead anyway so they’ll never need to claim their pensions. The URL is hilarious – this is a tax scandal? Really? Really?

Sigh. That was a nice global economy we had, once…

I’m not sure what Gordon Reid is asking for here. I’m sure I could sit down and read it, but because he’s decided to post the entire ruddy petition in the title and leave the “More details” field empty I’m stuck staring as a wall of text that makes my eyes hurt when I try to read it. More alarmingly, this is becoming a regular trend on the ePetition site, too – right up there with petitioning the Prime Minister to Your Name Here.

I would say that if you’re committing to payments you can’t actually afford to make then it’s not an unfair punishment. Alright, yes, bank charges in the UK are rather ridiculous, but saying “Hey, y’know, we’re not going to charge you bank fees anymore, because of The Economy” is hardly going to help matters.

Why do you think the price of fruit is increasing? Is it because of foreigners? Homosexuals? The global economy collapsing at the end of last year? Terrorists? We may never know.

No.

No.

No.

Oh yeah? Well Kylie Minogue’s Breast Cancer diagnosis several years ago prompted an increase in cancer screenings in the UK and in Australia. If anything, Kylie deserves her own law. Also: advertisements on TV, radio, and in magazines would be far more effective than calling everyone. I’ve worked in call centres. No one likes to be bothered, even if it’s something important.

The Trinitarian Act of 1812, for those of you who don’t know, was passed to legalize the practice of Islam in the UK. What James Higgs is effectively asking for, her, is to ban Islamic practice in the UK. James Higgs has basically found a cleverly worded way around the ePetiton site admins’ strict (heh) screening process. He’s also a walrus dick.

Y’see, the beauty of Free Speech is that, in this country, you can show a film about pretty much anything. The downside of Free Speech is that we have to put up with mindless fucktards like Janice Breeze.

Every fifty years? Woohoo! Time to re-mortgage in 2059!

Or, alternatively, you could just not vote. That way you don’t even have to get up or anything.

You are an honest-to-goodness moron.

A fucking terrible idea – on the off-chance someone who’s good at the job comes into power, the most you’ll ever have them is for those two terms. Then some brainless moron will step in instead.

People are bad at maths. The solution is to teach maths less. (I worked it out with maths.)

Challenge: name someone who doesn’t like fast movement:

Did you get it?

So, you want barstaff to have to put up with your poisonous exhalations so that you can indulge your addiction to a toxic drug, yes? Fuck right off.

If it is compulsory, it is not an ‘after school activity’. It is ‘school’. What you are suggesting is called PE lessons and it already exists. And it’s a waste of time. Requiring uninterested students to practice a sport they don’t enjoy for an hour a week is just going to piss them off. They won’t get exercise, which I assume the point of this is; they’ll just stand there and get cold. Then go for fish and chips.

1. A condition where everyone gets what they deserve.
2. Whatever I want at this particular moment.

Justice (n). Defining a cutoff in December instead of September.

Justice (n). A healthy physique.

Justice (n). The act of prioritising irrational prejudice over the rights of others.

Justice (n). A punishment under law for upholding the law as written.

Justice (n). Shorter, more convenient telephone calls.

…because of this one…

…from the same person.

Teresa Wright, if you’re reading this, you are a cunt. It’s only lucky Brown got this instead of Blair. He might actually have done it.

No, they’re not.

They’re saying ‘smoke if you want but keep it out of people’s faces’. This doesn’t make them hypocrites any more than their allowing coca-cola but banning you from randomly injecting it into strangers’ arms. (I assume there’s a law against that.) What makes them hypocrites is that they made an exception for the Parliament bars.

1. that the Prime Minister has no control over BBC policy, and
2. that Russell Brand no longer works for the BBC.

That said, here are a couple of more interesting ideas, where ‘interesting’ means ‘fucking stupid’:

Yeah! Not on fire, no tax for fire service. In full time work, no tax for benefits. Let those poor bastards pay their way like the rest of us! Seriously, what do you think tax is for?

Dear Gordon,

Please stop refusing to do things just because you can’t and it isn’t your job to do them. Your job is to represent the people. I, a person, would like a pizza. Please phone Lucky’s and compel them to bring me an 11″ deep-pan spicy-chicken with sweetcorn.

Don’t tell me it’s not your job. I voted for you, or at least for whichever white-haired chap the other lot were pushing at the time. That makes me your boss so I’ll decide what your job is. Now, yesterday someone at work told me my hair is bad. Please put them in prison using anti-terror laws. Also, I didn’t like how last week’s Simpsons ended. I demand that you change it somehow.

Yours,
Mike Nuggan

Presumably you also believe that God created a bunch of plants and animals too, so using your own logic it should be okay to marry them. You’d better go marry an otter then, before God gets all vengeful or something.

I hate these petitions. There’s a ton of them and they are all started and signed by people who feel that they are somehow entitled to watch people kick a ball around a field just because they happen to be on our side. It’s football, for Glod’s sake. At what point does it become vital that everyone get to watch it for free?

The first bit makes some sense, although not much as it’s about the least effective transparency measure I can think of. The last bit is a lot like saying “you should be able to buy shoes for free on the internet”. Filed under Anything I Want Should Be Free.

They are all at it. It is called inflation.

I especially enjoy the implication that they have to jack up prices so they have something to display.

They what now?

“Bus” and “train” passes? This is surely some kind of sick prank.

This man is an idiot. Not because he’s asking for the petition site to be taken down (I’d quite like this too – it’s a depressing window in the sheer stupidity of British society) but because of his pledge. People seem to forget that we do not work for the Government – the Government works for us.

Am I the only one who thinks it’s excessive to ask for a public holiday celebrating your favourite episode of an old television show?

I’m sure that the reason that “a higher number” of road accidents are caused by people under the age of 21 is because of their age, not because of their inexperience on the road.

I’ve seen a number of petitions which say the same thing – give the last surviving Tommy a State funeral. The problem is that we have, I think, four surviving Tommies at the moment, all of whom have said that they don’t actually want a State Funeral. So what you’re essentially petitioning for here is to disregard their wishes and have one anyway. I’m pretty sure that’s the exact opposite of honouring someone in death.