Posted by Ben @ March 21st, 2010 8:52 pm. Filed under: Batshit Mental Rants, Duplicate Petitions, Rejected Petitions, Solve My Imaginary Problems!, Thank You For Coming -- It's Been Very Useful, Won't Somebody Please Think Of The Children?, Work Around My Delusions Dammit!, You Know - We Haven't Banned Anything Lately. — Tags: Mrs Rachel Hutchinson —
by Mrs Rachel Hutchinson (rejected)We are against the sale of Ouija Boards as toys for children. We believe that they are a stepping stone to the occult for inquisitive children. The occult is highly dangerous and is not a game.
This petition was rejected not because it’s clearly batshit bonkers mad insane, but because “It was similar to and/or overlaps with an existing petition or petitions”. Like this one.
Posted by Andrew @ January 20th, 2010 8:42 pm. Filed under: Batshit Mental Rants, I Must Be Of Something, I Petition The Government To Your Name Here, I'm serious!, Oh Yeah? Let's See You Write A Better Petition!, Rejected Petitions — Tags: Martin Bjelland —
by Martin Bjelland Konstali of Human beings…!(rejected)
Hello Gorden Brown, maybe you know me!
Turn it off so I`m alone in my body again. Turn everyone off that would like to just be alone in their own body again. WE Pray WE Beg We hope! Please turn off this system that makes us communicate inside our minds. Be in other bodies and for me, I`m not alone in my own body, there are other people in my body, and it has to be turn off now! I`m Martin Bjelland Konstali! I live in Norway and would like you to know that I`M here to help! You can visit my INTERNET page and write me by email or call me every day 24-7. Visit my blogg and the web page can be found if you search my name on Google and look for the address to my blogg in the photo on my facebook account that is visible to everyone. All relevant information is on the blogg.A very honest hug from me. Best regards! Martin Bjelland Konstali.
Posted by Ben @ January 12th, 2010 6:56 am. Filed under: Batshit Mental Rants, I Could've Looked This Up But Instead I Watched Countdown, I'm serious!, Is Research The Same Thing As Making Shit Up? Good., There's No Time For Thinking! — Tags: Nicholas Fox —
by Nicholas FoxThe world is not facing a threat from global warming, but global cooling.
In Europe, most of the USA and even in Asia, including China, many of us in the early days of 2010 are currently experiencing extreme cold weather.
I call on the government to increase taxes – and to spend the revenue on sun farms. A sun farm would use electricity to power huge lamps that might heat an area the size of a small town.
I have studied temperatures globally over the last few months and if the world continues to cool at the current trend the whole of humanity is threatened.
Of course! It’s all so simple!
Posted by Andrew @ January 10th, 2010 7:57 pm. Filed under: Batshit Mental Rants, Rejected Petitions — Tags: Angel Officers —
I’m not really sure what has happened here.
by Angel Officers of MI5 (rejected)Hi,
We are MI5 officers, due to xx ?? !! situations in the frontline, we lost the proper way of reporting.
This Singapore Hwa Chi Lin had 2 version of him. First is termed as evil (proud) version of him capable of murder of Dr. Tony Tan in Dec 2002 and other activities as recorded by MI5 officers.
2nd Version of Singapore Hwa Chi Lin is termed as righteous (humble) version of him, which we take that as a cover.We need to report this to Mr. Gordon Brown or "Green Tree Leaf", "Fireball in center forehead", "Golden Light", "Sunlight" Angel officers in MI5.
Singapore country is in dangerous hand if Singapore Mr. Lee Kuan Yew didn’t see through the 2 version of Hwa Chi Lin. In the evil (proud) version of Hwa Chi Lin, our wisdom light angel officer see the potential of overthrowing of current Singapore Prime Minister. We do not allow evil Mr. Hwa Chi Lin to be the head for the country. Please informed Mr. Lee Kuan Yew about the threats.
Regards
Angel Officers
Posted by Ben @ December 29th, 2009 8:46 pm. Filed under: Batshit Mental Rants, I'm serious!, It Says So In The Daily Mail, It's Just A Little Request..., Stand Back! I'm Going To Try SCIENCE!, Thank You For Coming -- It's Been Very Useful, There's No Time For Thinking!, Unreasonable Demands, Unworkable Ideas — Tags: Ian Baldwin —
Hahahaha!
by Ian BaldwinThe Prime Minister wants colder winters but Britain cannot cope with the small amounts of snow it gets at present. If man made climate change exists (and the undersigned do not believe it does) he should be encouraging global warming in order to keep roads and railways open and save money on severe weather payments.
BWAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
Posted by Ben @ November 23rd, 2009 11:31 pm. Filed under: ...Or Else!, Batshit Mental Rants, I Am A Brain!, I'm serious!, OH SNAP!, Stop Spending My Money On Things I Don't Understand. — Tags: Derek Green of Common sense —
There’s a lot of stupid in this petition, but rather than make a snarky comment about it I’ll just let it speak for itself.
by Derek Green of Common senseI understand from the TPA that the government is now responsible for 50% of radio advertising revenue and, as a regular listener, I find most of this is pointless and futile. For instance, the current one about “benefit thieves” (doesn’t seem to be one for parliamentary expenses thieves, but there you go). Most people on benefits are honest people who find themselves having to claim them after years of paying into the system. When they then find themselves asked to survive on a measly £60 a week, who could blame them for doing a bit of work on the side? Those who are the scroungers and know how to work the system are running rings round the establishment and do you honestly think a radio ad is going to prick their conscience? All it is, is another empty gesture to give the impression that the government is doing something about the problem. It’s time to stop this waste of money, especially when they’ve just refused funding for another drug that would give cancer sufferers longer with their loved ones. They need to wake up and realise which areas they do need to cut back on expense. Please sign this and stop this waste of money on what is more or less propaganda.
Posted by Ben @ October 28th, 2009 3:54 am. Filed under: Batshit Mental Rants, Hang on -- This Should've Been Rejected, It Says So In The Daily Mail, Nanny Knows Best, Please State The Nature of the Medical Emergency, Sorry, What Was I Talking About?, Thinking Things Through Is Just Not British, This Is What We're Outraged At This Week, This was Yesterday's News Ages Ago, Won't Somebody Please Think Of The Children?, spelin an grammer — Tags: Jacki Goodall —
I’m sharing this one for a number of reasons, which will hopefully become painfully apparent once you’ve read it.
by Jacki GoodallI am petitioning on behalf of that poor woman who had her children removed right down to her newborn. What a lot of heartless scum social services are. They need to look after children that are really suffering the way little baby P did. what is the issue with the social services their brains in their arses? What’s wrong? The poor fat lady too happy for them? Will they now remove every kid who happens to be fat, whether the family is happy loved and cared for? All overweight parents in the UK are now going to panic and go on drastic crash diets. in case the same fate happens to them. There are cases of parents who really harm and neglect their kids that are swept under the carpet. like baby Peter and then we will get “Oh dear we’re sorry it wont happen again” Bullshit it will, They allow abused kids to go back 4 more abuse then slam a poor family who happens to be fat what next? Give the lady her babies back. What social services have done is dam cruel. I would like people to sign this petition for parliament, and hopefully force the people who call themselves God to give the poor lady a break and give her children back. I am totally disgusted! Great Britain? There is no Great Britain or a United Kingdom.
Let’s just analyse it for a minute…
Frankly, I am surprised this petition got approved. I’ve seen far less insane rants get rejected, and this one even includes abusive language which is usually an automatic rejection. What’s going on, Number 10?
Posted by Ben @ October 28th, 2009 3:45 am. Filed under: Batshit Mental Rants, I Am A Brain!, I Could've Looked This Up But Instead I Watched Countdown, Thinking Things Through Is Just Not British, spelin an grammer — Tags: christina aston —
by christina astonNo one in Government should be able to sell off Englands – land – gold – property – Royal Mail or other assetts. These belong to England to be looked after for future generations they are not for use by whichever political party that is in power at the time. The government is in power to look after this country not sell parts of it off whenever they feel like it. Just because they have got us into a financial mess does not mean they can sell off the countries gold etc to get themselves off the hook. If past generations had not built up this country there would not have been the gold – property etc that we have now – we must not allow it to be sold.
Well I’m glad you’ve taken the time to think this through properly.
Posted by Ben @ October 28th, 2009 3:37 am. Filed under: Batshit Mental Rants, I Could've Looked This Up But Instead I Watched Countdown, Sorry, What Was I Talking About?, What A Load Of Bankers — Tags: Rev Dr Richard Rodgers FRCS —
This is a perfect example of a petition posted by someone who has absolutely no idea what he’s talking about. Behold!
by Rev Dr Richard Rodgers FRCSAt present we allow commercial banks the huge privilege of creating money out of nothing as their own property for their own benefit. You and I can’t do it. Why let the banks do it? They do it by issuing loans of money which didn’t exist until the borrower signs a promise to pay it back. Then the bank sells that agreement to a dealer for real money up front. We don’t need to depend on banks for our nation’s money supply. Let’s make the Bank of England, acting as a public servant, the sole creator of new money in our land. Then our money would be an asset of the nation as a whole not the property of commercial banks. This practice caused the credit crunch. Banks lent to people who couldn’t repay because it wasn’t costing them much in the first place. It’s why bankers get bonuses. The problem isn’t bonuses. It’s the activity that the bonuses encourage ie getting people to borrow. Don’t nationalise the banks. Let them compete but don’t let them create money out of nothing as they do now.
Posted by Ben @ October 23rd, 2009 3:46 am. Filed under: Batshit Mental Rants, My Other Car Is Another Car, spelin an grammer — Tags: Just Jez —
by Just JezIt has been proven time and again that speed camres don’t work and they course more harm than good. So why does the goverment insist on fitting more and more when we have been told that over a year ago no more will be fitted to our roads??
Enough is enough! Can the goverment stop trying to rob the motorist on the motorways and using the excuse that making the motorway wider is reason to fit average speed scams to make the money back and cover their expenses for doing so.
Dear “Just Jez”,
You are writing to the Prime Minister. For the love of Glod, tidy yourself up a bit.
Love and kisses,
~Ben
Posted by Andrew @ October 18th, 2009 3:26 pm. Filed under: Batshit Mental Rants, I Must Be Of Something, Rejected Petitions —
by Mr John Jones of Bromely Swimming Club (rejected)More details cannot be shown
My favourite bit is that he felt the need to include the name of his swim club. It amuses me also that he misspelt it.
Posted by Ben @ October 2nd, 2009 8:06 pm. Filed under: Anything I Want Should Be Mandatory, Batshit Mental Rants, Everyone Stop What You're Doing Because You're Mildly Inconveniencing Me, In Soviet Russia Petition Signs You — Tags: Ms S Winter-Smith —
by Ms S Winter-SmithSpeed kills. Speed pollutes. Road damage increases as the 7th power of axle weight and speed. Long distance commuting makes rural property unaffordable. Public transport is side-lined due to the great god CAR. The only exceptions to be Police and Emergency Vehicles.
Surely this will anger the great god CAR?