Posted by Ben @ July 29th, 2010 8:47 pm. Filed under: Anything I Want Should Be Mandatory,Batshit Mental Rants,FREEDOM!!,I Am A Brain!,I Find That Offensive!,I Must Be Of Something,I'm Religious So You Have To Do Everything I Say,I'm serious!,Not actual freedom -- just what I wanted. Which is basically the same thing.,Really REALLY Bad Ideas,Solve My Imaginary Problems!,Thank You For Coming -- It's Been Very Useful,This Is The Worst Kind Of Discrimination! The Kind Against Me!,Unenforceable Laws,Unreasonable Demands,Unworkable Ideas,We Petition The PM To Climb This Wall Of Text,What Would Idiot-Jesus Do?,Won't Somebody Please Think Of The Children? — Tags: Debra —
Oh dear. Here we have Debra, a precious little dumpling who seems to think that all legislation is trumped by “God’s Law” – y’know, stone the gays, women to be used as a form of currency, that sort of thing. Debra’s brain exists in that special cerebral universe designed specifically for the sort of person who usually lives in America attending Tea Party rallies, only in this instance she (presumably) lives in the UK, and the only Tea Parties she attends are parties where she drinks tea.
Let’s have a look, then: (more…)
Posted by Ben @ March 1st, 2010 4:13 pm. Filed under: "Making Britain Great Again",Anything I Want Should Be Mandatory,Thinking Things Through Is Just Not British — Tags: Oliver Greenaway —
by Oliver GreenawayWe propose for the Prime Minister to ensure images of HM Queen Elizabeth II are allocated at all arrival ports & terminals across the United Kingdom. Let’s show over sea foreigners how proud we are to be British.
Thailand has pictures of their King everywhere, why not show HM the respect she needs in her own country.
God Save The Queen
Bless.
Posted by Andrew @ February 21st, 2010 4:11 pm. Filed under: Anything I Want Should Be Mandatory,Rejected Petitions — Tags: graham holmes —
I’m getting pretty bored of the endless petitions demanding some meaningless act be carried out for every last tedious soldier who dies as if they didn’t know that was a possibility when they signed up or as if anyone in the public really thought we’d get through a war without sustaining any military casualties. It’s not respect. It’s patronising and I doubt the families want any of this shit. But here’s another, which has the added bonus of ruining the news.
by graham holmes (rejected)bbc should make the tradgic deaths of all millitary personell the headline on the news/not following some inane worrys about the weather/or some footballers wife got a new hair doo! have some respect/the familys of the soldiers deserve more as do the soldiers you! send out
I think this guy just has 26 letter keys and one big ‘punctuation lucky dip’ key.
Posted by Ben @ January 18th, 2010 11:35 pm. Filed under: Anything I Want Should Be Mandatory,Don't Worry About What THEY Want,Everyone Stop What You're Doing Because You're Mildly Inconveniencing Me,George Orwell Had The Right Idea,I Pay Taxes So You Have To Do Anything I Say,I'm serious!,Thank You For Coming -- It's Been Very Useful,Unreasonable Demands — Tags: Robin Rawlings —
I’ll leave the discussion of this charming little petition in your capable hands, folks:
by Robin RawlingsAs a tax payer I fed up seeing my neighbours who don’t work watching their 40″ plasma tv’s, I can’t afford one and I work and pay tax so why should lazy people contributing nothing to the country get more than hard working people. We should force them to work if they don’t work, by building workhouses and then sending them to workhouses.
Posted by Ben @ November 27th, 2009 4:39 pm. Filed under: Anything I Want Should Be Mandatory,Duplicate Petitions,FREEDOM!!,Invading The Animal Kingdom,This Is The Worst Kind Of Discrimination! The Kind Against Me! — Tags: Mr Jan Paul Giergiel —
by Mr Jan Paul GiergielRenting a property should not be the pain it is at the moment, as a Renter myself I am fed up of Landlords feel that they can dictate how you should use the property that you are paying them handsomely to occupy.
I believe that a landlord should only be able to demand that the property is in the same condition at the end of a tenancy as when the tenancy began. I feel it is unfair that they can impose silly restrictions i.e. No Pets. I feel that this is an infringement of ones human rights, I think that as owning becomes further and further away from the average person the tenant MUST be given more rights and freedom during a tenancy.
But it’s not your property. It’s theirs.
Posted by Ben @ November 23rd, 2009 11:11 pm. Filed under: Anything I Want Should Be Mandatory,Clearly You've Thought This Through,Why Should I Have To Go To Work?,You Know - We Haven't Banned Anything Lately. — Tags: Neil Gilroy —
by Neil GilroyWorking in retail can be stressful. This can often be caused by the work load itself but can be made worse when selling age restricted items. Many retailers may find it incredibly intimidating to ask for identification from a member of the public who doesn’t look 18 (for alcohol). I believe that by enforcing a “No ID, No sale” for every member of the public rather than a “No ID, No sale [unless you look over 25]” law would result in much fewer illegal sales to underage youngsters and would limit the number of threatening behavior retailers face also.
Furthermore, I would like to ask the Prime Minister to enforce a law that would ban supervisors and managers from over-ruling a customer assistants decision to refuse sale to a member of the public under age restricted circumstances.
I would suggest that if you’re not willing or able to ask for age verification before selling something to someone that perhaps you’re not cut out for a job in retail.
Posted by Ben @ October 16th, 2009 2:58 am. Filed under: Anything I Want Should Be Mandatory,George Orwell Had The Right Idea,It's Just A Little Request...,Join the Fight Against Nebulous Bad-Sounding Things!,Technology. Tamed.,Unreasonable Demands,You Know - We Haven't Banned Anything Lately. — Tags: Philip Hubbard —
by Philip HubbardAfter being on holiday on the east coast I saw many of these cash machines in family amusements arcades. I saw on many occasions people taking out £100 at a time then going into to the £500 Jackpot area and another arcade offering to cash peoples work cheques. If this is not encouraging gambling I don’t know what is.
One could argue that having ATMs anywhere encourages gambling, because there’s nothing stopping you taking out a wedge of money and then walking, or perhaps driving or catching a bus, to your favourite betting house. So, y’know, might be better to get rid of ATMs altogether.
Posted by Ben @ October 2nd, 2009 8:06 pm. Filed under: Anything I Want Should Be Mandatory,Batshit Mental Rants,Everyone Stop What You're Doing Because You're Mildly Inconveniencing Me — Tags: Ms S Winter-Smith —
by Ms S Winter-SmithSpeed kills. Speed pollutes. Road damage increases as the 7th power of axle weight and speed. Long distance commuting makes rural property unaffordable. Public transport is side-lined due to the great god CAR. The only exceptions to be Police and Emergency Vehicles.
Surely this will anger the great god CAR?
Posted by Ben @ September 29th, 2009 7:24 am. Filed under: Anything I Want Should Be Mandatory,George Orwell Had The Right Idea,It Says So In The Daily Mail,Sex! Sexy... sex!,There's No Time For Thinking!,Unworkable Ideas,Won't Somebody Please Think Of The Children?,spelin an grammer — Tags: thomas bowman —
by thomas bowmanParents do not realise the danger of letting children use toilets alone,vulnerable adults, youths and children should be protected when using toilets. Our open,liberal society encourages perverts and paedophiles to use these facilities as meetings, matings and worse rape or abuse children.
Lovely. Just when you think Britain has had enough of the whole “Nanny State” thing, someone like Thomas Bowman comes along and tries to make the Nanny State even Nannier.
Posted by Ben @ September 29th, 2009 7:18 am. Filed under: "Making Britain Great Again",Anything I Want Should Be Mandatory,Everyone Stop What You're Doing Because You're Mildly Inconveniencing Me,I'm serious!,So I Just Type What I Want Here And The PM Has To Do It?,Thank You For Coming -- It's Been Very Useful,There's Already A Solution But Don't Let That Stop You From Bothering The PM,Unreasonable Demands,What A Dick,Won't Somebody Please Think Of The Children?,Work Around My Delusions Dammit!,spelin an grammer — Tags: mr martin dawkins —
by mr martin dawkinsand bring back family life
If you want “family life” just keep your family locked in the house on Sundays and play Scrabble or The Game Of Life or something. Alternatively you can let them get on with their lives as if Sunday were any other day of the week. Which, incidentally, it is. You pillock.
Posted by Ben @ September 29th, 2009 12:54 am. Filed under: A Rose By Any Other Name Would Be Less Funny,Anything I Want Should Be Mandatory,Couldn't If He Wanted To,Hanging's Too Good For 'Em!,It Says So In The Daily Mail,Join the Fight Against Nebulous Bad-Sounding Things! — Tags: mr Alex \penn —
by mr Alex \pennNobody likes terrorists the people who bring hate to our world. So why are they being let go for health reasons. What about the people we lost during 9/11 or 7/7 what about the people we could have lost in other attacks which were stopped. they shouldnt be allowed out of their cell keep them in there for the rest of there life. They are horrible, disrespctful self centred cowards lets see how they like it when they will never see outside again
…but every other sort of criminal is basically alright.
Posted by Ben @ September 9th, 2009 4:42 pm. Filed under: Anything I Want Should Be Mandatory,Duplicate Petitions,I'm serious!,Invading The Animal Kingdom,Really Epic Duplicate Petitions,Really REALLY Bad Ideas,Unreasonable Demands,Work Around My Delusions Dammit!,You Know - We Haven't Banned Anything Lately. — Tags: Julie Kennedy —
Julie Kennedy feels so strongly about dogs on leashes that she’s posted not one but two petitions on the matter:
Keeping dogs on leads is cruel. Puppies need to run about to enable their bone structure to develop. Every dog expert say that you must let your dog off a lead to release the excess energy that they have. The law is that a dog should be on leash or controlled by voice, this is a fair and perfectly good law. An unexercised dog can become destructive and nasty. To not let a dog of lead is irresponsible.
Allow dogs off leash and in public parks. Parents with dogs want to take both child and dog in the park. Children like to play with their dogs and where is better in a park or some dark distant out of sight forest.
Hang on, you’ve dithered from “never keep dogs on leashes” to “let dogs off leashes once in a while”. Y’know what’s more irresponsible, though? Letting your fucking dog run off on its own to piss, bark and gnaw on whatever and whoever it wants.