Posted by Ben @ August 16th, 2011 10:18 pm. Filed under: Abolish This!,Anything I Want Is A Human Right,Anything I Want Should Be Legal,Are You Kidding? We Can't Afford That!,Clearly You've Thought This Through,Hanging's Too Good For 'Em!,It Says So In The Daily Mail,Join the Fight Against Nebulous Bad-Sounding Things!,Nobody Else Deserves Free Money!,Really REALLY Bad Ideas,Stop Spending My Money On Things I Don't Understand.,These Kids Today With Their Modern Haircuts And Hippetty-Hop Music,Unworkable Ideas,What Have Other People Ever Done For Me?,Work Around My Delusions Dammit!,Xenophobia — Tags: Alan Young, David Moss, mark predeth, Peter Stephen Andrews —
Time for a short collection of lunacy. Where shall we begin? Oh yes, with the person who wants to be able to bludgeon unwanted house guests to death with a roaring oar:
by Alan YoungThe law regarding self-defence should be altered to make explicit that a householder is entitled to use any and all measures against an unlawful intruder within their home without fear of prosecution or any requirement to demonstrate proportionality or ‘reasonableness’ of response.
I am inexplicably reminded of a bit from Terry Pratchett’s “Hogfather” (I’ll quote from the TV version, here):
Lord Downey: You nailed Sir George’s dog to the ceiling.
Teatime: I couldn’t have it barking while I was working, sir.
Lord Downey: Some people would have drugged it.
Teatime: Oh! But I definitely fulfilled the contract. I checked Sir George’s breathing with a mirror, as instructed.
Lord Downey: Apparently his head was several feet from his body at that point.
Teatime: That was all right, wasn’t it, sir?
Lord Downey: It lacked elegance.
Right, what else have we got?
by mark predethWe the undersigned call on the government to restrict immigration to the United kingdom to a fixed numer of 50000 people per year and no more
by Peter Stephen AndrewsI would like the death penalty brought back. I’m sick of soft sentencing. I’m sick of criminals scoffing in the face of the law, our country and communities!
Wrongful convictions though, eh? Rather difficult to pardon someone you’ve just injected with poison, isn’t it? That is to say nothing of this very valid point.
by David MossThe government needs to stop paying people child associated benefits once they have had two children. Not only do more tax credits have to be paid, more child benefits but also housing benefits, NHS costs for birth and through life, education costs etc etc. Stopping benefits after 2 children will make people think more carefully about having large families and their huge tangible and intangible burden on the state. They will no longer be incentivised to have a lot of children, get more benefits and never work. More worringly this culture is passed onto the children and they adopt the same approach until it becomes totally unsustainable.
“Sorry Susan, but as your father and I just lost our jobs and the government will only pay child support for two of our children I’m afraid you’ll simply have to starve to death.”
Posted by Andrew @ December 28th, 2010 5:09 pm. Filed under: Anything I Want Is A Human Right,Exclamation marks!!!!,Gibberish,Oh Yeah? Let's See You Write A Better Petition!,spelin an grammer — Tags: Lawrence "Larry Cavelle" Cavill —
I got this message on Facebook a while back:
Larry Cavelle 21 December at 23:29
do you run www.wetheundereducated.com?
What’s happening? We’ve certainly never posted a petition from a Larry Cavelle. We posted one by Angela Cavelle once, could it be about that? Best get to the bottom of this.
Anyway, the conversation is long and ongoing, and therefore hidden behind the fold. (more…)
Posted by Ben @ August 16th, 2010 5:56 pm. Filed under: Anything I Want Is A Human Right,Clearly You've Thought This Through,FREEDOM!!,I'm serious!,Lord Knows I Ask Not For Myself,Thank You For Coming -- It's Been Very Useful,That's SO UNFAIR! I HATE YOU! — Tags: rgriffin —
Sometimes, laws are confusing. People get confused! The best way to alleviate the confusion? Why, get rid of the confusing laws, of course! Like this one:
on August 16, 2010 at 03:08PM
I love this guy already.
I would like a change or a full repeal of the Serious Organised Crime and Police Act of 2005. Part of this act involved designating sites by order of Secretary of State, such as nuclear power stations, which, if trespassed, incurred servere penalties.
In a one-man protest against the way the government was handling the economy prior to the G8 meetings of May 2009, I climbed over the railings into the front lawn of the Houses of Parliament following a peaceful march through the city. I sat peacefully on the lawn and when approached, stated “This is the people’s parliament, and I am one of the people”.
I was arrested and eventually cautioned for “Trespass on sites designated by order of Secretary of State. Serious Organised Crime and Police Act 2005 S.128.”
My point is this: how can sitting on the lawn of my own government’s meeting place be as bad as breaking into a nuclear power station? Clearly, making a stand for democracy should not be penalised in such a way. Please amend or repeal the law. Thank you.
Why the contribution is important
I believe my idea is important as it will remove an unnecessary restriction on the valid right to protest by the people of Britain.
Right. So… you don’t see a problem with trespassing on property occupied by people who run the country? Okay. Just checking.
Posted by Ben @ August 7th, 2010 3:27 pm. Filed under: Anything I Want Should Be Free,Can't someone else pay the tax?,I'm Religious So You Have To Do Everything I Say,This Is The Worst Kind Of Discrimination! The Kind Against Me!,What Would Idiot-Jesus Do? — Tags: frneil —
on August 05, 2010 at 02:45PM
Some years ago the Inland Revenue created a vast amount of unnecessary work for itself by starting to tax Catholic priests on their “income”. Most of us have very little by way of income (usually just the stipends for the Masses we celebrate) and given our service to people/society status, it seems a little unnecesary to tax us on the little we receive.
Why the contribution is important
It’s important to us priests because we have little enough income as it is without then being taxed. Also, to be honest, we may have moral objections to some of the purposes to which our taxes are applied.
Your “society status” has bugger-all to do with it, you pompous git. You’re earning an income and regardless of what it is you’re doing to earn it you should be taxed upon it. If you’re not earning enough of an income, do what rhe rest of us lot in the unwashed masses do and get a second job or something.
Also, a lot of people have “moral objections” to how taxpayers’ money is spent, but oddly enough that argument doesn’t quite stick when the Revenue send someone over to bust your kneecaps.
Oh, and one more thing:
Matthew 5:42: Give to him that asketh thee, and from him that would borrow of thee turn not thou away.
Romans 13:7: Render therefore to all their dues: tribute to whom tribute is due; custom to whom custom; fear to whom fear; honour to whom honour.
Seems pretty clear where your God stands on the matter, doesn’t it Neil?
Posted by Ben @ July 14th, 2010 8:58 pm. Filed under: Abolish This!,Anything I Want Is A Human Right,Batshit Mental Rants,Clearly You've Thought This Through,Don't Worry About What THEY Want,Duplicate Petitions,Hanging's Too Good For 'Em!,Is Research The Same Thing As Making Shit Up? Good.,Please State The Nature of the Medical Emergency,Sexism,Stand Back! I'm Going To Try SCIENCE!,Stop Spending My Money On Things I Don't Understand.,Unreasonable Demands,What A Dick,Won't Somebody Please Think Of The Children?,You Know - We Haven't Banned Anything Lately. — Tags: AndyCC, ngreer —
Abortion. Touchy subject. Touchy enough for at least two petitions on YourFreedom.
on July 03, 2010 at 01:01AM
Someone decides to have sex, they should live with the concequences. Abortion should be banned for all social economic reasons.
Life is a sacred thing, whether you believe it is from God or not, people these days think that you just pop-out of the womb on the day you are born, but it starts before that within the womb.
If people disagree with banning Abortion for social economic reasons, could they please explain why it is differnt to killing a 5 year old because they are not an Adult yet?
Abortion is just legalised mass murder, wrapped up to make everyone feel good about it.
Why the contribution is important
Why should an innocent unborn child be murdered simply because of a “bad” choice to have sex?
Why should the taxpayer pay for this? And for the clumsy decisions of others not to use protection?
on July 06, 2010 at 11:51PM
Why the contribution is important
The right to life is a fundamental human right. The unborn are human. At the moment of conception they become, by any reasonable definition, human. They are genetically members of the species homo sapiens, and between that moment and birth, there is no clear dividing line when a change occurs. If there is no clear dividing line, then no change occurs (if it is illegal to kill at some precise moment and not before, that must be because a significant change occurs at that moment).
It follows that to kill the unborn is murder, and the clear denial of that unborn child’s right to life. We will not execute murderers and rapists because of this principle, but we will inflict a particularly brutal killing on defenceless, innocent children. This is unnacceptable in any society that aspires to be civilised.
let’s ignore all of the bollocks pseudo-science and half-arsed presumptions in these petitions and jump to the crux of the matter: making abortion illegal.
What about where protection is used? What about rape? What about incest rape? What about instances where the baby won’t survive childbirth? What about instances where the mother won’t survive childbirth? What about where the baby will be born without a brain? Or, rather simply, what if the woman simply isn’t ready to be a mother? It’s her body, her choice, and she shouldn’t be forced into motherhood against her will, be it because she was attacked in the park or because she just doesn’t want to have kids.
Even taking all of these variables out of the picture, making abortion illegal isn’t going to help. The women that want abortions are still going to find ways of getting them, being it going abroad to somewhere else in Europe where it’s still legal. Or, if that’s not an option, they’ll seek out a “back alley abortion” where statistics show they will, in fact, wind up dead.
So, long story short, it seems AndyCC and ngreer hate women, they don’t think a woman is entitled to ownership of her own uterus.
by sam charleton of gameing comunity (rejected)most games on the xbox 360 come with some sort of downloadable content which you have to pay for, we the people who buy and play theese games dont want to pay for this extra content considering we pay on average £40-50 for a game.
Yeah! Why should I pay money to have more stuff?
Posted by Andrew @ April 26th, 2010 7:05 pm. Filed under: Anything I Want Should Be Free,Lord Knows I Ask Not For Myself,Racism,Really REALLY Bad Ideas,Rejected Petitions,Wait a minute... this isn't a petition! — Tags: Keith Jones —
By some margin, the most prolific nonsense-monger on the e-petitions website is a man called Keith Jones, the self-styled Taxpaying Pensioner Without Political Affiliation. He has submitted some 227 petitions so far, of which 196 were rejected for various reasons, and the rest garner signatories numbering between a paltry five and a slightly less paltry seventy five.
Here is one I discovered recently which is broadly representative of his mindset and language:
introduce legislation to put up laws so that when somebody is found to have committed a crime under the influence of illegal drugs, or alcohol, the person who provided them with the drugs and/or alcohol is also required to be found and charged with the same offence.by keith jones of taxpaying pensioner without political nor relilgious affilation
Many criminal defences are based on the fact that ‘it happened because they took drugs before or were drunk at the time of’ the offence which found them in court. If that is the case then the person who sold or supplied the substance or alcohol were accessories before the event and are therefore also entitled to be put before the court and convicted. This is a lot to with being responsible for your actions, something which is not currently in the vocabulary of our society!
Pretty mental, right?
Following a comment posted on this site last night, I’ve done a little digging on Keith Jones. I’ve looked through 141 of his old petitions (the rest having vanished into the archive), and I have discovered that…
Keith Jones lives in South Wales:
by keith jones of taxpaying pensioner without political affiliation (rejected)
Now that the recently appointed Chairman has said he may not be able to fulfil the role, Gordon Brown has an opportunity to move away from the ‘establishment’ and to appoint someone who has no interest in become lorded, nor in making a fortune. Keith Jones will do the job diligently, always in favour of the taxpayer, honestly and with transparency and probity AND he will do it without being paid for it. His only fees will be travel costs between his home in South Wales and his office in Westminster, though why he has to have an office in Westminster is the first item on his review agenda.
Keith Jones votes BNP:
immediately rescind the order by the current Foreign Secretary that elected members of the EU who are members of parties which have ‘racist’ views should be refused the assistance of consular officials.by keith jones of taxpaying pensioner without political nor religious affiliation (rejected)
This is a party political move which disenfranchises the thousands of voters who put these people into their seats – something our current political leader has yet to achieve – and it cannot be right that a member of an opposing political party can simply order civil servants – who are paid out of the taxes of those he is disenfranchising – to refuse their requests for assistance. Big Brother is here!
This is not surprising considering how frequently he parrots BNP lines about sponging MPs, immigration and so forth.
Keith Jones would like to work in the Government:
Keith Jones thinks standing for Parliament should not require a deposit:
immediately remove the deposit required when a citizen wishes to be put forward to be elected to be a Member of Parliament in this country.by keith jones of taxpaying pensioner without political affilation
The number of people who have been left penniless because of government policy over the last 12 years means that many who wish to put themselves forward to challenge the corrupt Members of Parliament currently occupying seats in the House of Commons simply cannot afford to do so. There have been many utterances by socialist politicians about ‘lowering the bar’ so that more people can aspire to be MPs (some even argue that is why they were given tax free allowances and unrestricted access to taxpayer pounds in the form of ‘expenses’ in the first place) but the deposit – and the possibility of losing it – continues to put many people off. Removing the deposit is the only way that corrupt elected representatives being replaced by honest elected representatives is going to be achieved in this country.
In last night’s blog comment, Chris pointed out to us that the BNP’s candidate for the Newport East Parliamentary constituency is a man called Keith Jones. I wouldn’t say that they’re definitely the same man, but I’m pretty sure they’re the same man.
Now I know what you’re thinking. It can’t be him, because our Keith Jones doesn’t have a political affiliation. But campaigning with Keith Jones is John Voisey. Voisey is the BNP candidate for nearby Islwyn, and yet his blog states quite explicitly
This is an INDEPENDENT site. It is NOT an official BNP site, neither is it a puppet of the BNP.
and he is apparently keen not to use his real name too near that of the BNP. Make what you will of Keith’s equivalent declaration, but the lady doth protest too much, methinks, and apropos of too little.
Scroll to the top of the page and read his alcohol petition again, and then read more of Keith’s petitions. I particularly like the one where he suggests beheading Gordon Brown. Then, when you’ve formed an opinion about the kind of person the BNP would have represent you in Parliament, go ahead and vote for anyone you like.
Lastly, I’ve uploaded a zip file containing all 141 of the petitions I managed to download, so you can dig through them for incriminating, exonerating, or amusing examples.
stop the telephone companies from charging the consumers for the issueing their paper telephone bills to the tune of £1.50 per month.by James Magill (rejected)At the moment everybody gets charge by the telephone companies if they have to issue a ‘Paper Bill’ but if you have a Computer and are connected to the Internet you can get this bill on line at no charge. What about the 1000s who have not got a Computer, eg our Senior Citizens and those of us who are unemployed to mention a few?
They get charged the £1.50 paper bill fee. Are you not paying attention?
by Miss Lucy SmithGetting to and from school or college should be free as OAPs are free and we don’t even get pensions.
That’s true. You don’t.
Posted by Ben @ March 9th, 2010 11:15 pm. Filed under: Anything I Want Should Be Free,This Is The Worst Kind Of Discrimination! The Kind Against Me! — Tags: adrian bonnington —
by adrian bonnington
Many online dating sites are giving women free lifetime membership but charging men monthly fees to join. This is discrimination.
Telephone chat services also offer free services to women but make men pay. Why are men allowed to be discriminated against? When will this stop?
Maybe when you stop being such a pervert.
I’ll never get tired of using lyrics from Adam & Joe’s “Football Song” as the title for petitions to do with football. Anyway, here’s a self-entitled whinging bastard’s bastard’s bastard.
by Richard Garland
I think it’s a disgrace that to watch the likes of the English Premier League football matches, that we have to pay a ridiculous fee to a large corporation. I’m not saying that every match should be free, but on average there’s mostly at least ten matches a week in the Premiership, why can’t even one of those matches be given to a free channel? It’s ridiculous that certain companies appear to have a monopoly on this, why can’t the government intervene, and tell these companies to either stop being so tight or face sanctions? It’s simply nothing short of price fixing because they know fine well there’s no competition. Football should be for everyone.
Posted by Andrew @ March 7th, 2010 6:14 pm. Filed under: ...Or Else!,Anything I Want Is A Human Right,Anything I Want Should Be Free,Don't Worry About What THEY Want,Just Like That!,Lord Knows I Ask Not For Myself,Not Government Business,Reject Rednesday — Tags: george bryans, graham giles, Miss Bethany Gough, Mr Harry Jackson, Mr Nicholas Evanns, Mr Paul Mcilavey of UK Independence Party, Mr Philip Wailing, Mr Tommy Grimshaw —
by graham giles (rejected)
We are fed up with politicians not answering a simple yes or no to a petition.
This petition has been rejected.