Posted by Ben @ May 13th, 2009 6:49 pm. Filed under: I Am A Brain!,I Deserve Free Money Because Of The Credit Crunch,I'm Keeping The Whole Class Back,Really REALLY Bad Ideas,That'd Be Nice,There Their In They're House,There's No Time For Thinking!,Unreasonable Demands,Unworkable Ideas,We're British, Dammit!,Why Should I Have To Go To Work? — Tags: Mr Ian Longstaff —
Please find below my suggestion for fixing Britain’s economy. Instead of giving billions of pounds to banks that will squander the money on lavish parties and unearned bonuses, use the following plan. You can call it the Patriotic Retirement Plan:
There are about 20 million people over 50 in the work force. – Pay them £1 million apiece severance for early retirement with the following stipulations:
1) They MUST retire. Twenty million job openings – Unemployment fixed.
2) They MUST buy a new British CAR. Twenty million cars ordered – Auto Industry fixed.
3) They MUST either buy a house or pay off their mortgage – Housing Crisis fixed.
4) They must send their kids to school / college /university – Crime rate fixed
5) Buy £50 of alcohol / tobacco a week there’s your money back in duty / tax etc
P.S. If more money is needed, have all members of parliament pay back there falsely claimed expenses and second home allowances
Ignoring the crushing financial blow of the Government giving away £20,000,000,000,000, let’s address each point individually:
Posted by Ben @ May 13th, 2009 6:37 pm. Filed under: Lies Damn Lies And Nonsense Statistics,You Know - We Haven't Banned Anything Lately. — Tags: Paul Morant, Sense with Roads —
The general 30 mph speed limit is fine for most built up or residential areas.
20 mph is too slow for most roads.
Drivers should be encouraged to use their judgement, not constantly watch their speedometer.
If there are lots of pedestrians about, say near a school, then 20 is too fast. When the the road is quiet, 20 is too slow.
20 limits on road where 30 is allowed now would add 50% to journeys.
They would increase fuel consumption and pollution.
Lower limits encourage people to take chances and make it harder to predict what a vehicle will do.
Road safety and casualty reduction can be better improved by other measures.
If a 20 limit is really necessary, then this should be introduced on a individual case-by-case basis.
Speed limits should only be changed on an evidence-based analysis of accidents in the road in question, not an emotional reaction to a populist campaign.
This petition sounded reasonable until that nonsense made-up “add 50% to journeys” bollocks in the middle. And how do you introduce speed limits on a “case-by-case basis”? What case, exactly? The case of someone getting their skull split open by a reckless driver, perhaps?
Posted by Ben @ May 12th, 2009 5:26 pm. Filed under: Anything I Want Should Be Mandatory,We Have To Save Christmas! — Tags: abdulqadir of islam4mankind —
As an equal rights country we should have rights to Holidays for religious days for all religions for example Eid and Diwali etc. There was a time when the police force had no blacks or asains but now there are many and actually want more. i think this partition is all fair for all who live here expecially those who were born here. For example a muslim born in britain should have rights to a holiday for his/her religious celebration,its ok for him to pay council tax, income tax national insurance etc but he doesnt get his rights as a british citizen. This is possible we know that and the government knows that and hopefully this will happen. Tust like the police force eventually accepted asains and blacks so will its government. All races all religions lets make this happen lets all have a annual holiday on our religious days. (Ammen…. Ameen… inshallah…..Hopefully with the will of god……)
Yes. Every religion. Including Shazanity, the online religion that anyone can edit.
Posted by Ben @ May 11th, 2009 9:13 pm. Filed under: I Am A Brain!,I'm Keeping The Whole Class Back,Really REALLY Bad Ideas,Unworkable Ideas — Tags: Paul Morris —
Isn’t it daft to have aminimum wage then tax people? Seems to me this should be the tax threshold starting point. Increase tax on the higher paid once they earn over minimum wage. Many single people, and childless couples are on Min wage, this would increase their spending power, stimulate the economy.It would also reduce the amount of benefit agency staff and tax collectors..another saving!
No Paul, it’s not daft at all. You just don’t have a keen grasp on how the Real World works. Case in point: How does not charging tax on people who are working result in a reduction of “benefit agency staff”? Unemployed people don’t earn minimum wage. They don’t earn anything.
Posted by Ben @ May 11th, 2009 9:09 pm. Filed under: Anything I Want Should Be Free,Can't someone else pay the VAT?,Duplicate Petitions,The Sad Clown — Tags: Miss Georgina Groocock —
Menstruation is a natural part of female biology and yet whenever women buy the essential products needed to hygienically deal with this process we are paying extra. This should not be the case. Bandages have no VAT and neither does contraception, so why do tampons or towels have to?
Petitions of this nature have already been made but without enough publicity they have been unheard and now are closed. Spread the word and get this message out there.
This is at least the third petition I’ve seen asking for exactly this. And every time I provide a list of other things that everybody needs to do, and a list of other items that we could take VAT off, and in so doing potentially cripple the Government’s financial income. I’m not going to do that again. Instead, I’m just going to post a picture of a sad clown.

Posted by Ben @ May 11th, 2009 8:50 pm. Filed under: Duplicate Petitions,I Am A Brain!,Oh Yeah? Let's See You Write A Better Petition!,There's Already A Solution But Don't Let That Stop You From Bothering The PM,Unnecessary Bureaucracy,Unworkable Ideas — Tags: Mr Charlie MONCK —
Under my idea, if “No Candidate” got the most votes in a constituency, a new election would he held in that constituency, but with none of the original candidates who received more than 10% (say) of the vote allowed to stand. The remaining (“small party” and “single issue”) candidates (who are an essential and colourful feature of our elections) would not have to pay another registration fee for the new election. The proposal would allow the electorate to have more control when non-local candidates are foisted upon them, as well as enfranchising many who currently feel disenfranchised by the choice of candidates available to them.
No it wouldn’t. It’d be a waste of ink on the ballot. If you decide not to vote, you can do so by simply not voting.
Posted by Ben @ May 8th, 2009 10:57 am. Filed under: Everyone Stop What You're Doing Because You're Mildly Inconveniencing Me,Really REALLY Bad Ideas,spelin an grammer,There's No Time For Thinking!,Unworkable Ideas,You Know - We Haven't Banned Anything Lately. — Tags: Sam Ellison —
i feel that if alcohol is completly banned in the uk that the crime rate will descend rapidly and will be less of a drain on tax payers money for alcohollics to sit on state benfits and drink alcohol and the drunks on the streets who are offensive and abusive and this will be a problem of the past.
Posted by Ben @ May 8th, 2009 10:54 am. Filed under: Unintentional Irony,Unworkable Ideas,We're British, Dammit! — Tags: Frazer Thompson of English Wines Group —
Are you fed up with Government receptions serving French Champagne, Chilean Merlot and Brazilian beers with Portuguese strawberries, French asparagus and apples and butter? Why are we so obsessed with sourcing food and drink as cheaply and as badly as possible? We must support British food and drink to the absolute exclusion of all other products and give this growing and important sector a boost and some pride in our food and drink culture.
Is it too much to think that a representative of the “English Wines Group” would know where Champagne comes from? The clue, as they say, is in the name. Also, everything else that’s wrong with his idea.
Posted by Ben @ May 8th, 2009 10:50 am. Filed under: That'd Be Nice,You Know - We Haven't Banned Anything Lately. — Tags: JONATHAN SPENCER —
Most telephone directories distributed throughout the United Kingdom are literally a waste of space. How often are these expensive books used by the the typical household? Quite apart from the costs of production and distribution which are borne by the consumer, whether wanted or not, there are the environmental costs of production and disposal. For most people, the information contained in these directories may be easily obtained elsewhere. For those people who do rely on paper directories, make such directories available on request.
Yes. And, if nothing else, it’ll help prevent personal information being just left around where anyone can find it.
Posted by Ben @ May 8th, 2009 10:43 am. Filed under: spelin an grammer,Unreasonable Demands — Tags: mr paul johnson —
people are breaking the laws of the highway code regarding parking issues on a daily basis and the police are reluctant to enforce the law.all these problems have come about due to changes in the law which have passed parking issues to local councils who are confused as to what action they can legally take.
That’s a bit of a strange logical leap, isn’t it? It’s like saying, “Supermarkets are allowed to have their own-branded orange juice. Therefore I think we should shut down all supermarkets everywhere forever because clearly there’s no consensus on how orange juice should be packaged!” Only, y’know, stupider.
Posted by Ben @ May 8th, 2009 10:40 am. Filed under: spelin an grammer,Young, Dumb, And Online — Tags: davidchristian —
i want to get rid of dettentions if this cannot be done then get rid of principals detentios this is the 21st century why should we cling on to 19th century inventions if we continue to issue detentions then children everywhere will hate to come to school and will not learn i think that better punishments should be used. not the age old trick of telling your students to come in a break lunch and after school.
Clearly somebody has been getting plenty of “detintions” for not paying attention in English.
Posted by Ben @ May 8th, 2009 10:36 am. Filed under: It Says So In The Daily Mail,This Is What We're Outraged At This Week,This was Yesterday's News Ages Ago — Tags: Mr Robert Skedgell, Roger Sewell —
Dear Prime Minister,
We the undersigned haven’t heard about the European Union’s ruling that the UK should rid itself of its DNA database. This is because our primary source of information is probably the Daily Mail, or possibly the Sun.
It has been stated by ACPO that innocent people have nothing to fear from their DNA being retained even after acquittal. Since police officers must necessarily visit the scenes of crimes, it is reasonable that their DNA be added to the national DNA database and retained for 12 years after leaving the force (or indefinitely in the case of dismissal or resignation while under investigation for misconduct).
Any police officer not enrolled on the DNA database should be prevented from taking a DNA sample from a suspect, or accessing the database in the course of an investigation. This would be a reasonable safeguard against the use of a system by a police officer who clearly has no confidence in it.