We had something of a bumper crop lately. After a period of silence on the accepted petitions feed, about 200 appeared at once. Roughly 150 of them were as dumb as coleslaw, so here are 18 of the least practical.
Listen carefully:
by Thomas Whittaker
A substantial amount, estimated at 200,000 tons, of recyclable rubbish is destroyed rather than recycled.
Until this amount rises, which it is unlikely to do in a recession when prices paid for recycled goods are lowering, people should be given a general bin which they can dump a certain amount of their waste, dependent on how much rubbish the council burns rather than recycles.
This could also be tied to times when people are especially busy, such as allowing people to dump all their rubbish unrecycled for a week around the beginning of their work year.
Got that? Good.
by Mr Dobson
The government would like to decomission analogue FM radio within ten years, in favour of DAB radio. Notwithstanding that geographical coverage of DAB will have increased by this time, FM will still provide a necessary and perfectly adequate function.
If that’s your attitude, why not ban radio? After all, books still work.
This one should be read in as posh a voice as you can do, to maximise the righteous indignation of Pippa’s crusade to see that she can continue to watch her favourite sport (which is therefore everyone else’s favourite sport) for free:
by Pippa Cuckson
Ten years ago the BBC covered 79 days of horseracing; this year it’s 27; by 2010 it will be only 14 unless the BBC can be reminded of its obligations as a public service broadcaster and scraps plans for emasculating its reportage of a sport which appeals to the widest demographic of all. The consequences go well beyond the leisure preferences of the six million TV licence payers that annually visit racecourses. By cherry picking the dual purpose “social” events such as the Derby, Royal Ascot and the Grand National (which attracted viewing figures of 10 million this time) the BBC is reckless as to the future of the supporting tier. Any reduction in terrestrial exposure will hasten the contraction of the industry, jeopardising 20,000 full-time jobs and the racing industry tax contribution of £280 million a year.
Here is another innovative solution to the credit crunch:
by Riccardo gambino (rejected)
Open Letter to the Priminster Gordon Brown.
The national priorities we set amidst
We need a new framework for responsible lending to ensure
countries don’t fall back into the debt trap and the past mistakes are not
repeated.
I believe the best way to get back on our feet as a nation is to
implement a national jubilee and work with other nations towards an
international jubilee, as the Bible teaches. In Leviticus chapter 25 the
Bible outlines a celebration that should happen every 50 years. I really
believe God gave us the secret toward financial health as a nation in this
chapter. It would do your office well to apply this teaching so our nation
can regain its footing in God’s sight and in the sight of all nations. There
is no better example of how to do this than by implementing such a jubilee
nationally and internationally. It will lead others to follow a good example
on forgiveness of debt, mercy and compassion. It may even help us regain
some respect that has been lost due to our meddling in foreign affairs for
selfish cause. Thank you for your leadership.
Your Servant in Christ
Ricci
Chapter 25 of Leviticus has been rejected because it contains wording that is impossible to understand.
by Antony Eaves (rejected)
More details cannot be shown
This would be the plan which has already been executed, yes?
by Matthew Dyson (rejected)
I hereby propose to change the week as we know it from the standard Mon-Fri working week and Sat-Sun weekend to the following:
Working week – 4 days (now renamed):
– Monday
– Weekend Eve eve eve (previously Tuesday)
– Weekend Eve Eve (previously Wednesday)
– Weekend Eve (previously Thursday)
Weekend – 3 Days (now Renamed):
– Sleep in Day (previously Friday)
– Party Day (previously Saturday)
– Family Day (previously Sunday)
I believe this will have a positive impact on employee morale as well as providing a longer weekend, improving prospects for our flagging leisure industry in this time of economic crisis.
You are joking, yes?
by Stephen Dawson
Stockwell-incident easily preventable had screening, image & fingerprint capture been in-place. Conceding passengers queuing to be screened continue to be at risk, the threat to those using public-transport is dramatically-reduced.
Pickpockets & others of-interest are unlikely to clear booth [barred...] where they are known to the authorities.
Honestly? I’d rather take the one-in-a-billion chance of being randomly shot to death by the police.
by George Whitton
Simply having the legal limit at a certain age is not good enough. Just because somebody is eighteen years old, it does not mean that they are mature enough to drink responsibly. The correlation of age and maturity is apparent, but anomalies still exist. These anomalies are usually what cause the problem. The amount of crime linked to alcohol is horrific and must be reduced. I propose that we introduce a ‘controlled substance’ license system. This would incur a series of tests taken by anybody over the age of eighteen who wishes to buy or consume controlled substances. Upon passing their test, the candidate will be issued with a digital swipe card, a unique ID number and have their photograph taken. Upon buying controlled substances, the card must be swiped and the details downloaded from a server for verification. All licensed premises will be issued with swipe machines. I know this idea is still in its embryonic stages, but in the right hands it could become so much greater.
And then, your Tobacco Card and your Alcohol Card could be combined into some kind of multi-purpose “Inhalation/Drinking” or “ID” card. Hey, hang on a minute!
by Tony Wilks of New Ways Clinic
Bio-Reduction Therapy for addiction has been well proven over the last 4 years to stop smoking, stop drinking and stop drug dependency. We would like to see the treatment approved by NICE and available on the NHS.
Let me explain to you the thinking, if you can call it that, behind ‘bio-reduction therapy’:
- Quantum theory says everything is a wave.
- Waves interfere.
- Therefore, if we pulse the right wave into you, we can cancel out the bad substances.
- That, for some reason, means you’re not addicted to it any more.
Seriously, that’s what it is. Does that still sound like a good idea? (You may notice that that link is to New Ways Clinic, purveyors of this made-up ‘therapy’, and whom this petition is from.)
by Neil Rowan of British Army
this petition is meant to force the government and bbc to stop charging t.v licence fees for Any Member of HM Armed forces.
Because..?
by Rachel Kirkham
My takehome pay is £1000 a month. This is about average and very possibly less than average for the area I live in. There is no way I could afford to find £100 a month plus to pay a congestion charge to get to work, hence I voted No. This is the situation most of Greater Manchester residents found themselves in, hence the massive NO vote that local government are currently puzzling over. It was clear, before the referendum, that people would not vote for an extra chunk coming out of their wages. The planned charge would essentially represent a 12% wage cut for me. Therefore our tax money was spent on promoting an unwinnable scheme – a complete waste. This is totally unacceptable to low and average waged taxpayers like myself and I demand that all of this money is refunded to us and put into providing decent public transport in our area, and that a conestion charge scheme must NOT be forced upon us, now or in the future.
I agree with you in theory. The congestion charge is a practical and simple solution to a huge problem, and the net result would probably have been that companies would start staggering their working hours. The current culture of everyone working the same hours is moronic. It causes congestion, expense, wasted time, and makes it nigh-on impossible to do shopping or banking. The government had no backup plan and putting its only idea to a vote which it was doomed to lose regardless of its merits (as all the morons in Manchester would see the word ‘charge’ and vote against it having read no further) was a stupid idea. Spending money on the unwinnable ‘vote yes’ campaign was also a bad idea. The fact that the adverts were all shit didn’t help either.
But do you really think the government can refund you money which it has spent? This petition boils down to “the government made a mistake, therefore I should get money which would otherwise be spent on schools and hospitals”.
by John Blakey
The government are supposed to be our servants. Let us have a vote to be used at any time, as we feel like it. Its OUR vote after all. WE can change it to whosoever we please at any time. MPs would have their votes published every day like stock exchanges results. Unpopular MPs would be voted out. popular ones would replace them.
This would force the Government to attend to us, and do what WE want, rather than ignoring us till election time.
Give power back to the people.
This really does sound like a good idea until you think about what would actually happen if it was implemented.
by Andreas Stavrinides (rejected)
More details cannot be shown
…apart from those two elections we had.
by Paul Beckles-Bye (rejected)
It is clear to me that the government has set up this site to fool the British public into thinking you care what we think. I have randomly read through numerous closed and rejected petitions on this site and I could not find any that the government reply was "we agree". If the petition doesn’t fit with government policy it is fobbed off or rejected. If the government is not interested in the publics point of view then stop fooling us with this waste of space E-Petitions site.
This is true: many petitions do not fit with government policy. Or the physical laws of the universe. For example:
by Paul O’Toole
Given that the UK Government are currently considering a rescue plan for Jaguar Landrover they should incorporate this into a wider plan to revitalise the UK’s ailing automotive industry. Since the loss of MG Rover in 2005 there has been no UK owned mass car production, most importantly in the small/medium car sector. The government should buy back Jaguar Landrover and resurrect MG Rover forming these companies into a group large enough to sustain ongoing sales and development of new world leading models. A government led programme like this is just the jobs boost the UK needs. Let’s make Britain great again!
Hang on, “bring back MG Rover”? How do you think business works?
by Linda Lock
I ask the Prime Minister to consider those of us who either do not have children or whoes children are grown up; who do not have a mortgage or shares or any savings; who work full time paying taxes but whoes income is just above that of being entitled to anything, but who still fork out for essentials like home insurance; who are not of pensionable age and who reap hardly ever any financial benefits from your government and consider how you can help us live a decent life in todays Britain by giving us back something too. (thanks)
You want a special financial boost specifically for people who don’t need it?
by Mr D Churchman
The British Pound Note is probably one of the most recognised symbols of financial security – or at least it was. So many Britains have never even seen a pound note. There are no easy fixes to Britains current economic problems, but sometimes a symbol can evoke far more in a population than any speech or action ever will.
The old Green pound note, especially the 1970’s version with Britannia on the back, would serve well as a focus of our countries need to do what is required to come out of the economic downturn stronger than ever before.
The solution to the credit crunch is to introduce more easily destroyed forms of currency.
by Rachel Harold (rejected)
What could be nicer than waiting in a queue at the lights with a warm red heart shape looking back at you, instead of the usual boring circle of redness?
It only requires a bit of masking tape and a stencil, just for Valentines…spread a bit of loveliness – have a heart & sign my petition,
)
That will help a lot.