Posted by Ben @ March 21st, 2010 8:52 pm. Filed under: Batshit Mental Rants, Duplicate Petitions, Rejected Petitions, Solve My Imaginary Problems!, Thank You For Coming -- It's Been Very Useful, Won't Somebody Please Think Of The Children?, Work Around My Delusions Dammit!, You Know - We Haven't Banned Anything Lately. — Tags: Mrs Rachel Hutchinson —
by Mrs Rachel Hutchinson (rejected)We are against the sale of Ouija Boards as toys for children. We believe that they are a stepping stone to the occult for inquisitive children. The occult is highly dangerous and is not a game.
This petition was rejected not because it’s clearly batshit bonkers mad insane, but because “It was similar to and/or overlaps with an existing petition or petitions”. Like this one.
Posted by Ben @ March 21st, 2010 8:38 pm. Filed under: I'm Religious So You Have To Do Everything I Say, It's Not Gay If Your Balls Don't Touch, This Is The Worst Kind Of Discrimination! The Kind Against Me!, What Would Idiot-Jesus Do? — Tags: david skinner —
by david skinnnerAs people from all walks of life, political parties, professions and religious faiths, we the undersigned have joined together to commit ourselves to reaffirm the value and necessity of religious and civil liberty and the rights of conscience across the UK today.We believe that religion and civil liberty must include the right to live and speak according to one’s conscience privately and in the public sphere, both individually and collectively, without harassment or the fear of civil or criminal penalty.
The proposed employment provisions set out in Schedule 9, Paragraph 2, subsection 8 of the Equality Bill (the occupational requirements relating to sex, marriage and sexual orientation for the purposes of organised religion) mistakenly seeks to deny integrity and authentic practical religion by separating religious belief and observance from behaviour and denies to religious groups rights that are extended to all other organisations, to employ only those who conform to their beliefs, practices and ethos.
Ladies and gentlemen, this is a person representing a religious body asking the government for permission to continue discriminating against homosexuals, women, and whatever other groups the various churches find abhorrent on any given Sunday, because being unable to discriminate against them treads on his “religious and civil liberty”.
Frankly, David and each one of the 35,000+ morons who signed this petition can all go and fuck themselves.
Posted by Ben @ March 21st, 2010 10:17 am. Filed under: Website News —
If you’ve ever wanted to ask Andrew or me about how, why or what we do But, Sir… for, you may be interested (or not!) to know that we’re both on FormSpring. Andrew is here, and I am here. Here are some examples of the sort of question we’ve already been asked:
Someone asked Andrew, What excites you the most about apathy in the 21st century?
The sexy uniform.Someone asked Ben, What’s your favourite type of flower?
Self-raising.
It’s a laugh riot, I’m sure you’ll agree. But feel free to ask us, y’know, serious questions.
Posted by Ben @ March 21st, 2010 12:55 am. Filed under: Website News —
We fancied a change, so Andrew made it happen. What do you think, internet?
Posted by Ben @ March 21st, 2010 12:48 am. Filed under: Not actual justice -- just what I wanted. Which is basically the same thing., Rejected Petitions, spelin an grammer — Tags: David —
by david (rejected)I was arrested for an unlawful action my girlfriend left at 3am on a busy city centre street the police did not care for her safety they used excessive force broke thier police oath and so did the judge and i am seeking justice revenge the police broke thier rules and broke commonlaw of england and cctv proves it it has been to magistrates court and crown court now i want further action for our behalf then may be i’ll vote for an elected goverment and not some unelected as i neved voted for you to get into power
I love how this petition starts off as “I have a problem, help!” and descends into “I NEVER VOTED FOR YOU SO YOU’RE AN UNELECTED GOVERNMENT BWAAA”. Marvellous lunacy.
Posted by Ben @ March 21st, 2010 12:42 am. Filed under: Rejected Petitions — Tags: Chris Cottell —
by Chris Cottell (rejected)The E-Petitions service is good but it could be through some simple changes such as: User accounts – Would enable a greater community aspect to the site and quicker signing of petitions. The ability to track petitions – Often petitions are signed and forgotten about, this would allow signed petitions to be tracked. Discussions sections for each petition – The comments section for petitions are small and often greater discussion on a subject may help develop an issue. Sub categories and areas for specific issues – There are already broad categories but these could have sub categories and specific areas for complex subject. This would enable better searching for petitions and if RSS feeds were provided for these it would allow people to be updated on areas of specific interest to them. The ability to vote against a petition – Would allow people to voice their concern against petitions rather than having to create a petition against a petition.
Some good ideas here – usernames, categories with RSS feeds, and petition-tracking are actually rather sensible – but “voting against a petition”? A petition isn’t a “yay or nay” document. You either sign it or you don’t. Surely the absence of your signature is pretty much all you need. Besides, it’s not as if the government does anything constructive with these petitions.
But anyway, your petition has been rejected. Ha.
Posted by Ben @ March 21st, 2010 12:38 am. Filed under: Gibberish, Rejected Petitions — Tags: John —
by john (rejected)Put some type of Governmental seperation[LOGO] on advertising to condone behaviour on UK television which causes loss of impact, earnings and response of the advising social behaviour in the advertisement.
I’m not entirely sure but I think, I think, John is asking the British government to endorse pretty much every product that is socially responsible. But… only when they… air… on TV soaps?
No, you’ve lost me.
Posted by Andrew @ March 19th, 2010 9:32 pm. Filed under: Not actual justice -- just what I wanted. Which is basically the same thing., Rejected Petitions — Tags: A K Stanger —
by Mr A K Stanger (rejected)More details cannot be shown
My favourite part is the URL he chose.
Posted by Ben @ March 17th, 2010 7:40 pm. Filed under: Racism, We Don't Take Kindly To Your Type Rahnd These Pahts, We're ENGLISH not British! — Tags: Andrew Constantine —
by Andrew ConstantineTo effect this change, the government needs to amend the Town and Country Planning (Control of Advertisements) (England) Regulations 2007 so as to allow our White Dragon flag to be flown in England without our having to secure planning permission.
Would you kindly fuck off?
Posted by Ben @ March 17th, 2010 7:38 pm. Filed under: Thinking Things Through Is Just Not British, You and What Army? — Tags: Colin Thomas —
by Colin ThomasThe “Hero of the Holocaust” medal is a very worthwhile effort, but why was it presented by a Politician, rather than the Sovereign (especially when the Sovereign was involved with WWII, which the Prime Minister was not).
Future medals should only be presented by the Sovereign to give the full dignity that they deserve, and not by some “temporary” Political figure (after a media sound-bite).
Because the Queen will live forever.
Posted by Ben @ March 17th, 2010 7:36 pm. Filed under: I'm Keeping The Whole Class Back, Young, Dumb, And Online, spelin an grammer — Tags: Peter Dunford-King —
by Peter Dunford-KingYears 10 and 11 are the two most important years at secondary school. At this age, whilst under taking GCSEs, students have enough to contend with without compulsory PE. Every 14, 15 and 16 year old understands the basic importance of physical excercise and no longer needs to be taught it. The time spent on PE in Years 10 and 11 could be much better utilised to do work that will affect career choices and futures in the world of work.
“Every 14, 15 and 16 year old understands the basic importance of physical excercise [sic]“? Really? Are you sure about that?
Posted by Ben @ March 11th, 2010 9:32 am. Filed under: Exclamation marks!!!!, Won't Somebody Please Think Of The Children?, spelin an grammer — Tags: Mrs Stephanie Phillips —
by Mrs Stephanie PhillipsA Convicted paedophile lives across the road from a Primary School! Litrally – he only has to look out of his window to watch the children! If his house was a council or rented he would be made to move.. as he owns his house, there is no law to say he has to move! He should NOT be allowed to live near a school full stop!! I would like to start this petition to make it a Priority to protect our children and make sure no paedophile is allowed to live within 5 miles from a school or park!
Yeah! If he wants to stare at children he should ride a bus like everybody else!
Honestly, I’m not in favour of letting convicted paedophiles live so close to schools, but 5 miles? I’ve walked that. It’s nothing. And you can’t really increase that distance because what you’re asking for then is for paedophiles to live out in the woods, or in the countryside or something, isolated from the rest of society.
Oh, I get it. That’s actually very clever!